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So you found stuff on his phone. He didn't admit it to you.
You have a big problem. Something similar happened to a family friend of ours. He had been hiding his true identity for decades ... well, his entire life.
Did you delete some of your posts? You are not married to the person you thought you were married to. You have a LOT to talk about.
I have come to the internet not because I cannot confront him, but because of the time of year it is and I do to want to put a damper on my son's big day. After that I will confront and talk to him, I want to be able to talk intelligently without blowing up which is something I am not sure I will be able to do, not even sure I can hold this in until after the holidays. Just thinking that if I at least talk to someone it may help.
I have come to the internet not because I cannot confront him, but because of the time of year it is and I do to want to put a damper on my son's big day. After that I will confront and talk to him, I want to be able to talk intelligently without blowing up which is something I am not sure I will be able to do, not even sure I can hold this in until after the holidays. Just thinking that if I at least talk to someone it may help.
Ok. I get it.
There's a LOT to unpack here. First things first ...
Do you have ANY idea if he has met any men in person? Are you two sexually active? If so, you may want to hold off on that for your own safety. If he has snuck around and had sexual contact with other men, which is a very common thing for repressed guys like this, then he has put your health at risk. You may want to get an STD test from your GYN.
I understand why you would want to wait till after the holidays to deal with this. You may want to busy yourself with other stuff to minimize contact with him, although I know that is hard during Christmas.
Is there someone in your life you trust, you should talk about options with them. There are multiple possible outcomes here, but the one that is right for you is based on the kind of relationship you two have had for 40 years.
If divorce is pending, I would advise you to start collecting "evidence" of his dual life. If it's not a consideration for you, though, I would advise you to not snoop anymore.
Thank You, I have thought of all of this, so will be getting checked this week. I do not want to talk to any of my family or friends about this just in case (although that may be wishful thinking) I am not sure if he has met up with anyone in person, I am however not naive enough to think that it isn't possible. I have taken pictures of what I will need for the courts so that area is covered, I do not want to do anymore snooping it hurts too bad.
Thank You, I have thought of all of this, so will be getting checked this week. I do not want to talk to any of my family or friends about this just in case (although that may be wishful thinking) I am not sure if he has met up with anyone in person, I am however not naive enough to think that it isn't possible. I have taken pictures of what I will need for the courts so that area is covered, I do not want to do anymore snooping it hurts too bad.
Yeah, I would not snoop more either. This really sucks. I wish you the best
Contemplating on leaving your husband of 40 years because he's "curious" isnt normal.
Well, "curious" could easily mean a LOT more than just that so I can see the thought entering my mind, especially if it sounds like HE may have already thought about it. Why even mention being curious to a spouse if you're not considering acting on it? Most guys don't ask permission to watch porn so he's almost certainly followed his curiosity THERE.
I'm so sorry, it must be a horrible thing to go through, and even worse this time of year.
It WILL give you time to think. At this point and with what you know, what is an outcome that would make you happy? What do YOU want?
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I just found out my husband is bi curious, is this a normal thing at the age of 60, or should I move on? We have been together for 40yrs.
Shug it started well before the age of 60, of that I am sure. Bless your heart that you just found out about it and he still has enough... love(?) to try and lie to you and tell you it's a new interest/curiosity.
He probably has been sneaking quickies with the men here and there for years.
It's always a shock to find out that the person we've known for so long has a secret.
Bisexuality or being bi-curious in itself isn't an issue; the issue I would have with this is that he wasn't forthcoming and hid it from you.
It is possible that he's been curious / bi for years and you are now just finding out. Or it could be that he's still at the curious part and getting up the courage to act on that curiosity.
I am a bi female and I have been attracted to women since I first had crushes/attractions. I guess I first found out I was bi when me and a group of my friends in middle school were looking at a rock-n-roll mag and pointing out guys in bands that we thought were cute, lol. I remember being a bit perplexed when I found my friends oohing and ahhhing over Duran Duran and I was crushing hard on both Joan Jett and Tom Petty. I must have been about 12 or so at the time. I didn't actually act on my attraction to women until I was around 22. I am very bold with men but quite shy with women for whatever reason.
I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way Especially at this time of year.
Before you make any other moves I would think about things and have some conversations with him first.
If you have a trusted friend that you can talk to and bounce ideas off or simply vent to, that will also help.
At any rate, I hope that it works out well for you.
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Especially at this time of year. 
