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What can I do , apart from leaving my family, with an insecure wife?
Can't take it no more, ruining my happiness, and family harmony.
So we were taking pictures yesterday,as a family. Another family, older lady with young daughter ask my to take a picture of them. No problem, I snapped 3 pictures,like I always do, and handed them back there phone.
So a few minutes later, I ask them to repay the favor. Please take a pic of my and my family. Everyone is friendly but my wife.
So she say I was fresh, and extra, over taking the pictures for a stranger. Wtf!
This is not the first time, but as the years have past, I would assume she can get over feeling this way. She has not stopped dwelling on the subject, 13 hours later. I say I did not do anything wrong, so I won't apologize, and won't hear anymore about it. Leave my the f alone already.
So how do I deal with this BS?
Sure, I can pack up and run away, and leave my kids without an everyday dad, but that is a last resort.
The other alternative: you can accept it and be less dismissive of her and more understanding of her. The more accepting of her you become, the more she will feel safe with you. In other words, change your attitude...big time. You don't need to defend yourself, or make it seem little. You do need to make her feel more secure. She needs attention and acceptance.
Honestly...not enough info to give advice that the others haven't already given. From your side you present her as a jealous shrew, but we are not getting the full story. She needs patience and counseling, if her jealousy and insecurity are really that bad.
The other alternative: you can accept it and be less dismissive of her and more understanding of her. The more accepting of her you become, the more she will feel safe with you. In other words, change your attitude...big time. You don't need to defend yourself, or make it seem little. You do need to make her feel more secure. She needs attention and acceptance.
It does work, but takes time.
This is great advice. Calling her a "baby" in your thread title and outright saying that her opinion is "BS" shows a huge lack of respect for her on your part. You have a right to be annoyed with her reaction, but this is your wife. You chose her, and you should be on her team, listening to her concerns, encouraging her to feel safe and confident in your relationship and getting her help if it's gotten to that point.
Honestly...not enough info to give advice that the others haven't already given. From your side you present her as a jealous shrew, but we are not getting the full story. She needs patience and counseling, if her jealousy and insecurity are really that bad.
There are at least two forces at work here in all relationships: 1.) How much emotional security one partner needs and 2.) How much the other partner is able and willing to provide. To keep it simple, very needy people require more attention and acceptance from a partner than less needy people, and if that partner choses not to meet these emotional needs, its spells trouble. The needy partner spirals down, becoming more and more needy and insecure.
The truth is their really is nothing you can do outside of appeal to her sensibilities over and over and make yourself all about her at any given moment.
She has to be willing to work on her own insecurities herself and be willing to address them honestly and openly both with herself and with you.
You can tell her her her behavior is affecting your relationship to her and you wish she would look at these moments and stop herself to ask why she wants to act out in this way in hopes she understands the larger picture and how it affects the world around her, but that’s about it outside of throwing (ultimately) pointless ultimatums around.
I would approach a relationship counselor in your position with the mindset that you can both work on understanding how to approach and understand one another better.
Flying in blind won’t Go over well with an (already) insecure person. They will just use your blind approach and lack of understanding as fuel for the next attack on how you may have slighted them or made them feel uncomfortable.
Have the two of you tried counseling to get to the bottom of this?
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What can I do , apart from leaving my family, with an insecure wife?
Can't take it no more, ruining my happiness, and family harmony.
So we were taking pictures yesterday,as a family. Another family, older lady with young daughter ask my to take a picture of them. No problem, I snapped 3 pictures,like I always do, and handed them back there phone.
So a few minutes later, I ask them to repay the favor. Please take a pic of my and my family. Everyone is friendly but my wife.
So she say I was fresh, and extra, over taking the pictures for a stranger. Wtf!
This is not the first time, but as the years have past, I would assume she can get over feeling this way. She has not stopped dwelling on the subject, 13 hours later. I say I did not do anything wrong, so I won't apologize, and won't hear anymore about it. Leave my the f alone already.
So how do I deal with this BS?
Sure, I can pack up and run away, and leave my kids without an everyday dad, but that is a last resort.
She doesn't control your happiness, only you do. 99% of the time it comes down to communication. Make sure she knows that she is your only one and always will be. Maybe she is stressed and needs extra comfort from you.
Counseling is a good idea, too.
Hang in there and don't get too mad. Do your best to see her POV.
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