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Old 01-23-2018, 12:01 PM
 
Location: United States
27 posts, read 15,362 times
Reputation: 38

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She didn't literally say she wants commitment, maybe just wants to hang out with you and get to know you better. Go and see what lies ahead.
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Old 01-23-2018, 12:23 PM
 
336 posts, read 194,873 times
Reputation: 409
run for the hills!
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Old 01-23-2018, 12:26 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,754,614 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chriz Brown View Post
Yeah... so I want out of this relationship.

She hasn't done anything offensive to really justify dropping her, but I can tell she wants commitment by V-day and I'm just not in the same boat.

Usually its easy to dump girls because they are already lukewarm on me or they do something crazy, but she is very into me and hasn't done anything bad. I'm just not that into her and can't give her what she needs. I stopped kissing her and having sex with her a week ago and she isn't taking the hint.

I get the feeling she will go into deep depression or go nuts if I drop her because she likes me so much. What is the easiest way to slip out of this?
What is the actual problem?

She's nice to you, has sex with you, and is cool to hang out with. Why are you talking yourself out of this?
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Old 01-23-2018, 12:31 PM
 
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,691 posts, read 41,629,721 times
Reputation: 41324
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
What is the actual problem?

She's nice to you, has sex with you, and is cool to hang out with. Why are you talking yourself out of this?
She wants a commitment the OP ain't willing to give. Simple as that.
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Old 01-23-2018, 12:38 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,328 posts, read 14,547,380 times
Reputation: 39259
We knew from the beginning, that he didn't think he was that into her, and that she probably was gunning for a level of attachment that would be a problem sooner or later. We forgave his sentiments of, "Gosh but I sure do want to get laid, and she's hot." We said that eventually, he was going to find that she had feelings for him, and he did not have feelings for her, and it would be dramatic when it came time to move on. Our OP had plenty of warning, of the situation that was on the horizon. And now, here we are, and he can reap what he has sown. At least (to the best of our knowledge and presumably his) she isn't pregnant.

OP: "It walks like a duck."
CD: "It's a duck."
OP: "It quacks like a duck."
CD: "It's a duck."
OP" "...but I'm just not sure..."
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Old 01-23-2018, 12:39 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,754,614 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
She wants a commitment the OP ain't willing to give. Simple as that.
Has she said that?

Is he sure he doesn't want it? I think he was surprised at how much he was into her.

What changed, OP?
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Old 01-23-2018, 12:44 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,700 posts, read 34,240,753 times
Reputation: 76911
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Has she said that?
Yeah, all OP said is that "he can tell," but it doesn't sound like they've actually talked about what they want. And you know what they say about assuming...
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Old 01-23-2018, 01:03 PM
 
30,907 posts, read 32,923,411 times
Reputation: 26919
Yeah, totally not asking for commitment. She is expressing interest and letting you know she'd love to see you again.

On my very brief OLD foray I had a guy PM me or whatever (can't remember what it was called back then) to ask me whether I would take down my profile in order for us to have a first date. When I refused he said he couldn't go out with me if I couldn't at least "try" monogamy with him. WTH...? We hadn't even gone out! He said it would feel like I was playing the field.

Not a loss, LOL.

THAT was a direct and immediate demand for commitment. The OP's situation isn't. If you're interested in her then the fact that she wants to see you should feel great. If it doesn't, maybe you're not actually that into her and are looking for reasons to back off...?
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Old 01-23-2018, 03:59 PM
 
2,685 posts, read 2,515,360 times
Reputation: 1856
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Has she said that?

Is he sure he doesn't want it? I think he was surprised at how much he was into her.

What changed, OP?
I told you what changed. She wants more of a commitment than I do.

Do I want to spend Valentines Day with her? No. I would rather be out with friends. Isn't that a problem?

Did she verbally say she wants commitment? No. But I realized yesterday her parents already know about me. That's what really made me itchy. My friends barely know about her, much less anyone in my family lol.

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
She wants a commitment the OP ain't willing to give. Simple as that.
Exactly.
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Old 01-23-2018, 04:03 PM
 
2,685 posts, read 2,515,360 times
Reputation: 1856
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Yeah, all OP said is that "he can tell," but it doesn't sound like they've actually talked about what they want. And you know what they say about assuming...
Do most people talk to their parents about people they have no intention of committing too?

I know I don't.
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