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Old 12-22-2017, 06:20 PM
 
Location: Sweet Home...CHICAGO
3,421 posts, read 5,205,503 times
Reputation: 4355

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jgn2013 View Post
Women have more options for casual sex............but not necessarily for relationships. This is where men and women have a difficult time understanding each other.

Men:

We see our female friends' inbox on the dating website. She's got 50 guys sending her messages but half of them are lewd with cheesy pickup lines. Out of the 25 remaining, maybe 10 don't even have pictures or anything substantial written in the profile. The final 15 guys? 5 are not age appropriate (much younger or older than she wants). Of the final 10 guys that make the cut....she might be attracted to half of them. She's picking from five guys but still needs to talk and go out on dates to determine just how compatible they are. Lots of "options" but most aren't realistic. This scenario describes the experience for relatively attractive women. Average or less attractive women may not even have 5 good candidates out of 50. They're often ignored or viewed as only worthy of a quick fling.
As a woman, I can say this is pretty accurate. Online I am bombarded by men, but they are only asking for sex or sending USDP's. In my ads I make it clear that I am not seeking sex or FWB, but men ask for sex anyway. I used to write men whose ads I liked but they would never respond.

In person, I don't get approached or asked out at all by single men. Men find me attractive but don't ask me out. I have tried asking men out but I get rejected. Often single men have said they find me attractive, that I am smart, funny and a nice person but they are not interested in dating me. The only men who have tried to actually date me are older married men and I don't mess with dudes who are married--period. I am also not into men who are much older than me. I have deleted or deactivated all of my ads and I am done with OLD. I don't know how I will meet men now.

There are some of us women who are even above average in looks but still don't get dates and can't find relationships. My friends both male and female say I am very attractive and sweet and they are baffled that I have been single for as long as I have. I know lots of other attractive women in my perdicatment. Women don't have it as easy as men think we do.

 
Old 12-22-2017, 06:22 PM
 
Location: Jupiter
10,216 posts, read 8,285,738 times
Reputation: 8628
Men get shot down a lot, so they feel like finding a (good) partner is hard. Women turn down lots of guys, waiting to meet Mr. Wonderful. So they also feel like finding a (good) pa]rtner is hard. But logically, there are an equal number of single men/women in the country.
 
Old 12-22-2017, 06:30 PM
 
Location: singapore
1,869 posts, read 1,822,293 times
Reputation: 580
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
This. The fact is that both genders struggle. A few of each gender have it easier.
This sums it up
 
Old 12-22-2017, 07:21 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,436 posts, read 34,636,835 times
Reputation: 73585
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
I will be right over to check your math, as I have had a couple of Cape Cods. (Cranberry juice, vodka, lime twist. Christmassy.)
Our accuracy should be AWESOME.

60M men divided by the circumference of the earth equals 73% of the guinea pigs times the square root of gin.

I'm outta ice.
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Old 12-22-2017, 07:41 PM
 
124 posts, read 98,822 times
Reputation: 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27 View Post
Men get shot down a lot, so they feel like finding a (good) partner is hard. Women turn down lots of guys, waiting to meet Mr. Wonderful. So they also feel like finding a (good) pa]rtner is hard. But logically, there are an equal number of single men/women in the country.
There are more women than men, I thought everyone knew this yet no one on this thread does

Here check this out as you have another cocktail

See the Ratio of Single Men to Women Where You*Live | TIME Labs

And yes as a single attractive lady, educated, great career, athletic, golfer, blah blah it is EASY to find a guy to date or "have fun with" YET to find a quality good guy to date...that seems to be hard.
 
Old 12-22-2017, 07:57 PM
 
Location: Encino, CA
4,542 posts, read 5,366,433 times
Reputation: 8189
Quote:
Originally Posted by KonaldDuth View Post
Why finding a romantic relationship is so much harder for the average guy than the average girl.
Because the "average guy" still needs to be charming, witty, kind, have money in the bank, fit, not live at home with mom, have really high career aspirations, be polite, ambitious, have great teeth, must love puppies, be educated, come from a good family, drive a nice car, be stylish, not too much video game playing, has a warm smile, likes to cook and clean, etc.

All the "average girl" has to do is not be fat.
 
Old 12-22-2017, 08:19 PM
 
Location: singapore
1,869 posts, read 1,822,293 times
Reputation: 580
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kings Gambit View Post
Because the "average guy" still needs to be charming, witty, kind, have money in the bank, fit, not live at home with mom, have really high career aspirations, be polite, ambitious, have great teeth, must love puppies, be educated, come from a good family, drive a nice car, be stylish, not too much video game playing, has a warm smile, likes to cook and clean, etc.

All the "average girl" has to do is not be fat.
I am not fat, but it is still hard to get dates..
 
Old 12-22-2017, 08:24 PM
 
10,341 posts, read 5,842,316 times
Reputation: 17884
Quote:
Originally Posted by singaporelady View Post
I am not fat, but it is still hard to get dates..
Don't worry about him, he has a thing about Lululemon yoga pants and worthless fat ladies.
 
Old 12-22-2017, 10:29 PM
 
Location: South Bay Native
16,226 posts, read 27,355,728 times
Reputation: 31493
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49erfan916 View Post
Because the average guy doesn't want to date uggos.
You're right, and neither do the uggo guys. Actually, they all want to date an above average to extremely attractive woman, because no one understands - "they just can't make it work with a woman they aren't sexually attracted to." But they expect the hot chick to be into their uggo 'nice guy' charms...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stockyman View Post
I would say it's harder for an average man to find casual sex encounters or FWB than it is for average women.

What really screws up the dynamics are when handsome players sleep with average women and then the average woman has a hard time going back to seeing average men. IMO.
Your theory presupposes that average men are interested in average women - they are all hoping for their above-average trophy girl. For all the dateless guys who whine here on CD-R, just ask them if they would consider dating an average looking woman.

Their idea is that Lena Dunham is an uggo - average might be Jennifer Lawrence, and above average is Scarlet Johansson. FWIW - Lena Dunham is at least average if not above average, when compared to the female population at large.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
If women looking for men online would just start spamming them and sending messages like: "hey cutie" " you can walk my dog!" "An artist? Will you paint me in the nude?" "got any more pics" "you're hot!" "what're you up to tonight?" "Too good to answer me?" "Those pics must be old!" and my allllll time favorite: "Nice try!"

As soon as women start acting like men, men will get all the 'unfair advantages' women have OLD.
It's a pity I'm no longer doing OLD, I'm no longer concerned about bruising the fragile male ego. IDGAS what anyone thinks about me - I could write a book about all the abusive treatment I've been handed online, and I never gave it back to them. Not anymore! Bye Felipe...oh, and my all time favorite was being called a f*g-hag.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
No, I think it may be true for the OP and a certain subset of men, but not true overall.

In 2016 there were 60 million married couples, so lets go with 30 million men are married (not all are hetero). https://www.statista.com/statistics/...les-in-the-us/

There are 119 million men in the US. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demogr..._United_States
So 50% of the men are MARRIED.

If one third are below average, average and above average that is 40 million in each group. So obviously average men are doing well, as those numbers only apply to married.... doesn't count LTR, living together, etc.

Someone check my math, I've had a cocktail....

Edit: wrong already, 60M couples (so 60 M married men), so my math is off, but that is against the OP and I am not redoing my numbers......
I don't know where these harping dateless men live, but everywhere I go around here, there are plenty of average looking and even unattractive men who are happily married, with careers, families, the white picket fence...go figure.

I hear you on the numbers though - after a brutal 15 unit semester, the last thing I want to do is math. I'm having lunch this weekend with some friends, and I'm planning on asking for separate checks. People ain't got time for that ish!

Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
I will be right over to check your math, as I have had a couple of Cape Cods. (Cranberry juice, vodka, lime twist. Christmassy.)

My guy had no luck on POF, he's smart, funny, hard working, mentally and financially stable. I really have no argument about OLD. being a long shot for men after hearing he had no responses. Twilight zone.
I wish I could join you fine ladies in lifting a glass - the only thing I've been swigging these past seven days is Celestial Seasonings Lemon Zinger with a sprinkling of Theraflu. I hope it finally blows over before Christmas!
 
Old 12-22-2017, 11:36 PM
 
3,565 posts, read 1,912,843 times
Reputation: 3732
Quote:
Originally Posted by KonaldDuth View Post
Supposedly there is an equal number of single men and single women. And you would think that means that the market is inherently neutral, can't be a "seller's market" or "buyer's market". Guys seem to feel like it's always a seller's market though. I think I understand why.

Let's use the analogy of a job market and let's say there are 1,000 people looking for jobs and 1,000 job openings. Despite the fact that every job opening could, in theory, be filled, and no job applicants left unemployed, it's still an employer's market.

The job applicants are the ones really in need, so that they don't starve. The employer is in a much better position because in most circumstances they don't need to fill a particular job. It's rare that their business is in danger of shutting down if they don't fill a position. Usually job openings from an employer's perspective are like "We think our business would do better if we could find someone with this exact skill set for this exact price, but if we can't find that someone, we can still function alright." The job applicant has to settle for whatever he can get, but the employer is almost always able to be somewhat choosy.

That is how the dating market works and why an average guy has trouble finding a date while the average woman has dozens if not hundreds of dating options.
Has anyone asked why this Konald person assumes that women are the employer and men are the employee?

I'm a guy. Something like an average one. I don't settle for what I can get - I, gasp, turn women down sometimes. And sometimes even choose from multiple options.

Of course, this happens to me in jobs as well

So, maybe this whole OP makes no sense at all.
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