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That's a chance I'm willing to take, losing a girlfriend is no big deal, going through a divorce is hell and my 5 year rule gives me a better chance of avoiding that IMO.
If you care so little about the girlfriend that losing her is 'no big deal' then obviously marriage or not will never be an issue regardless of the length of time.
You won't be kept around long enough for the issue to ever be raised.(Unless she's one of those extremely desperate women)
If I'm giving her the title of girlfriend, ain't that commitment enough?
And don't worry, I'd make it clear when it comes to kids, HELL no straight from the beginning.
Right. You're waving the huge red "I'm selfish" flag. That attitude is incredibly unlikely to ever attract a non-damaged mate. In any successful relationship, you put the other person's wants & needs ahead of yours as much as possible and they do the same. If it's totally 1-way like you seem to be looking for, you're only going to attract really broken people.
I saw a video recently from a dating coach named Mr. Locario where he says that you should make a woman wait 5-10 years before deciding to marry her so that you can fully know what you are getting yourself into.
What do you think of his advice? Do you think it is absurd to wait that long to marry someone if you are in love?
I think better advice would be "DO NOT, under any circumstance get married, period." But, if this "coach" hasnt quite gotten it yet, waiting 5-10 years actually makes sense. No woman wants to wait that long, for her 2 year long marriage, when she divorces the man and takes half his stuff. This kills the "starter husband" concept. I think marriage in general needs to be gone, considering no one thinks of it as a lifelong commitment.
So he can waste your time for 10 years and then dump you when something "better" comes along? You could be with someone who is really taking your seriously and trying to build something instead of wasting time with a loser like that.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by old_cold
If you care so little about the girlfriend that losing her is 'no big deal' then obviously marriage or not will never be an issue regardless of the length of time.
You won't be kept around long enough for the issue to ever be raised.(Unless she's one of those extremely desperate women)
Losing a girlfriend = get each other's our of our respective residences and I never have to see her again
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
Reputation: 41376
Quote:
Originally Posted by pretty in black
So he can waste your time for 10 years and then dump you when something "better" comes along? You could be with someone who is really taking your seriously and trying to build something instead of wasting time with a loser like that.
In your scenario she CHOSE to let someone waste her time for 10 years unless she was actually physically restrained. She ain't no innocent victim. Everyone has a choice they can make if they support or decline an extended vetting process.
I think though people should generally wait at least a few years. It takes that long to truly know the person. Yes there is the odd story where people meet and marry very quickly and it lasts, but that isn't the norm, and stories like that make people think leaping into relationships and marriage are a good idea, when I really don't think it is.
I think though people should generally wait at least a few years. It takes that long to truly know the person. Yes there is the odd story where people meet and marry very quickly and it lasts, but that isn't the norm, and stories like that make people think leaping into relationships and marriage are a good idea, when I really don't think it is.
For me, I think I'd be comfortable with 3-5 years.
But yeah, it ultimately depends on the couple themselves. Each couple is different.
The only part I think we can all agree with is that if you're dating someone for 5 years, and still not sure, then that's not good.
Unfortunately people who give out BS advice like this will never go away because there will always be folks out there who feed into it.
Those who see through this nonsense know there is no blanket standard that determines how long you should wait before making a serious commitment to someone else.
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our of our respective residences and I never have to see her again
