Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 12-28-2017, 03:57 PM
 
242 posts, read 249,746 times
Reputation: 510

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chriz Brown View Post
I'm noticing most people don't follow their own dating advice. Both genders are guilty.

Guys will talk all this trash about woman's looks, then turn around and marry someone average. They might also talk trash about other guys who let their wife or girlfriend control them.. then those same guys will get in a relationship and let themselves be controlled.

Women do the same thing with their long essays and lists of qualities a man MUST have to be worth dating and marrying. Then the same woman will turn around and marry someone without those qualities later. They also talk about refusing to settle for less than they deserve. But later they settle for less than they deserve lol.

Anyone else notice this?

Its like I almost don't even take anyone seriously anymore when they give dating advice.
There’s women you sleep with, women you date and enjoy hanging out with, and women you marry.
When you get older you learn the difference.

I’ve dated some smokeshows that I broke up with as well. There’s definitely a correlation with attractiveness and craziness

There’s a few awesome ones out there, but I’d take my average or better wife over any the model and fitness girls I dated. She has a great career, doesn’t spend half the day taking selfies and goofing around on social media. We click on a level that’s unmatched too. It’s nice to not have to be on my game 100% of the time and I don’t have to chase off the guys that hit on her everytime we’re in public. They’re good people, they’re usually just used to men worshipping them. I’m more interested in finding a team mate.



I can’t speak for women, but at some point I imagine they realize that if a guy has all those qualities he’s probably not hurting on options. Ha
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 12-28-2017, 05:29 PM
 
14,078 posts, read 16,569,015 times
Reputation: 17654
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
I think a lot of people realize that what they want is unrealistic.
I realize it, but I just don't care. Being realistic doesn't make me happy.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-28-2017, 09:13 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,436 posts, read 34,636,835 times
Reputation: 73585
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
I realize it, but I just don't care. Being realistic doesn't make me happy.
So being unrealistic does make you happy?
__________________
____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-29-2017, 04:29 AM
 
14,078 posts, read 16,569,015 times
Reputation: 17654
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
So being unrealistic does make you happy?
Happier.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-30-2017, 05:19 PM
 
2,258 posts, read 1,131,449 times
Reputation: 2836
People wind up staying with exactly what they deserve. Everyone has an agenda, and that shapes who they wind up with, whether their SO is a good or bad person. The most common and ridiculous excuse Ive seen in life for staying in a bad relationship -

"Im afraid to be alone".



Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-30-2017, 05:38 PM
 
Location: colorado springs, CO
9,512 posts, read 6,061,060 times
Reputation: 28830
I actually became very unattractive after I had my tubes tied.

It’s not why I had it reversed; there were health reasons involved but after the reversal, there were physical changes that can’t really be attributed to “because I’m healthier “ .

And they were “back to what I was” changes that I hadn’t even noticed I had lost. It was really weird.

I doubt that’s a common experience, however; most women don’t have chronic declining health following a tubal.

That being said, the comment I hear the most that seems hypocritical is “I’d never date a woman with kids”. My perspective is based on anecdotal evidence, though & based on my own experience of dating guys who would say “I never thought I’d date a woman with kids”.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-31-2017, 09:24 AM
 
Location: Des Moines, IA
282 posts, read 235,464 times
Reputation: 352
You're most comfortable with what you're used to.

It's like the well known phenomenon that someone who is in an abusive relationship that ends will only end up with someone else that's abusive. You don't feel right without that abuse, so you don't feel comfortable and in turn someone who doesn't abuse you doesn't have what you want. I imagine that applies to lots of other things in a relationship. And with friends. And many other areas of life.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-02-2018, 10:38 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,328 posts, read 14,552,431 times
Reputation: 39259
coschristi -

That is odd. I've known a number of women who have had tubal ligation and I haven't seen that be the case with anyone I've talked to. I'm sorry it went that way for you. My doctor told me I should think of mine as non-reversible, as she cut, burned, tied, and generally obliterated my tubes, and I'm glad because I am 100% on not wanting another child to raise, ever. I'm nearly done already, my sons are 16 and 18.

Setchel -

I have seen that pattern of abuse victims going from one bad scene to another. But I also believe that there is such a thing as in my own case where one can be very young, make a poor choice, and grow over time. Eventually when you get clear on what is unhealthy in a relationship, and what parts of it were your own making, you can certainly change your outcome in the future. It takes a certain amount of self-work, of course, and the development of a certain independence. I think that many people are afraid to be independent, to be alone, so they jump in too quickly to the next "serious" thing, and that leads to problems. While I wouldn't say I was alone, as in celibate or unpartnered, after my divorce...I did keep things from getting too serious for a while. I wanted to make very sure I wasn't making any hasty decisions. When my boyfriend and I moved in together, it wasn't because either of us had any fear of living alone, we're both fully capable adults, it was because we felt ready and it was mutually advantageous. Be with someone because you want to, not because you have to.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:52 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top