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I am 34 and he is 50...I have dated guys my age and they all have been nightmares. This one he treats me like gold. We're both on disability and I plan on going back to work in a year or so. He's not the best looking thing but he is clean. Before he became disabled he worked a lot and teach for classes. He's not in a wheelchair or anything. He only needs a walker when it's cold because of nerve damage he has no control over that. He lost a ton of weight. Our sex life is pretty good and I have a lot of flaws with my body but he just doesn't care.
My family and my friends told me I can do so much better and that I am lowering my standards.
I am 34 and he is 50...I have dated guys my age and they all have been nightmares. This one he treats me like gold. ... Our sex life is pretty good and I have a lot of flaws with my body but he just doesn't care.
My family and my friends told me I can do so much better and that I am lowering my standards.
Has anyone ever been in a similar situation
Answer to your question is no. As a consenting adult, only you have the final say ... not your family or friends. How many people are treated like gold, have met a person who is accepting of them complete with all flaws and also state that their sex life is more than satisfactory?
Houston, I do not see a real problem here, unless you allow other voices to unduly influence you.
If you two are happy then so be it. politely tell your family and friends you are happy and that they should be happy for you.
Now if you want to be a little spiteful to them when they say "you can do so much better" reply to them "They may or may not be true but you obviously settled because you could've done a lot better yourself".
This is simple, do you honestly believe that your family has your best interests in heart/mind? Or do you Honestly believe they are being petty for their own self gain?
I know, it's hard to see past the criticism (and I'm sure it was hard to Voice, how much do YOU like saying something that might hurt someone you care about?), but too often when you're IN the situation you can't see the forest from the trees. Meaning, you lose sight of the overall picture and only see the specific details.
Unless those who spoke up have gone out of their way to hurt you in the past, I wouldn't dismiss their concerns.
Your family and longtime close friends can often see things you can't when you're in that hormone-driven relationship buzz. I'm not saying it's true in every case but you could be lining yourself up for an "I told you so".
Think about the economics of this. You say you're going to be working again soon. This guy is disabled. The average SSDI monthly payment is $1,171 per month. There are a few career high earners on SSDI and people have private disability insurance who get a lot more than that but the vast majority of disabled people are below poverty level. Do you want a relationship where you're condemned to a life of poverty?
Your family and longtime close friends can often see things you can't when you're in that hormone-driven relationship buzz. I'm not saying it's true in every case but you could be lining yourself up for an "I told you so".
Think about the economics of this. You say you're going to be working again soon. This guy is disabled. The average SSDI monthly payment is $1,171 per month. There are a few career high earners on SSDI and people have private disability insurance who get a lot more than that but the vast majority of disabled people are below poverty level. Do you want a relationship where you're condemned to a life of poverty?
Good points. Also, he may be only mildly disabled now, but what about in one year, five years or ten years? Frankly, before I would make a long term commitment I would go with him to his doctors appointments and ask about his future prognosis.
Your family and longtime close friends can often see things you can't when you're in that hormone-driven relationship buzz. I'm not saying it's true in every case but you could be lining yourself up for an "I told you so".
Think about the economics of this. You say you're going to be working again soon. This guy is disabled. The average SSDI monthly payment is $1,171 per month. There are a few career high earners on SSDI and people have private disability insurance who get a lot more than that but the vast majority of disabled people are below poverty level. Do you want a relationship where you're condemned to a life of poverty?
OP has said she is going back to work. HE may be "condemned to a life of poverty" but she apparently has some earning power of her own - we don't know the details.
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