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If I am in a relationship with you, I don’t want you to feel trapped or feel like you have to divorce me and take half of my stuff in order to get out.
People who believe marriage is about "me" rather than "we" shouldn't get married to begin with.
This is why I don’t believe in marriage. I feel that if a relationship runs its course, then the other person should be able to leave. If I am in a relationship with you, I don’t want you to feel trapped or feel like you have to divorce me and take half of my stuff in order to get out. Why does society push people into marriage? It obviously doesn’t work for most people. I don’t know that love can last a lifetime anyway. That’s all fairy tales and crap they should save for the movies. True love doesn’t exist, right ? Or does it? I think most couples that stay together for a long time are just afraid of being alone or they just stay out convenience, not out of love.
Marriage is not the problem.
As someone who DID absolutely feel trapped in an unhappy marriage for quite a long time, I can tell you with 100% certainty that marriage IS NOT THE PROBLEM. You know what is? Mainly, children.
I was trapped long before we got legally married. We weren't legal for the first 10 out of 18 years. But we might as well have been, because we had two kids. We needed to work as a team to try and raise those kids. And when you are a parent (at least in MY personal ethics) your stuff is just plain not about you anymore. You've got dependents who did not ask to be brought into this world and you have to try and do whatever the right thing seems to be, for their well-being, and your own happiness be damned. If you're the kind of oversized child who cannot cope with unhappiness without throwing hissyfits, then I guess you get divorced no matter what your kids need, since you can't provide a happy home. If you are a grown-arse adult, you suck it up and deal. Maybe you pretend you're happy, I dunno. But you do have some obligation to be more than selfish in your relationship choices.
Being married didn't do that. Having kids did that.
How much importance you invest in wedding vows is as personal as how much belief you place in God or anything else.
Some people also wind up stuck because, for instance, one of them doesn't work and they rely on the partner's income, so they don't build their own professional prospects and wind up dependent. But nobody HAS to do that. If you don't want that in your relationship, then don't allow that in your relationship. And if you worry about some woman basically stealing half of your net worth, then first of all do your research, because what you owned prior to marriage in many places is not something she can touch, and alimony laws and such do vary...secondly, if you worry about that, why on earth would you even consider marrying someone that you have no trust in?
Seriously if you have no faith in a person's loyalty or even enough goodwill and human decency that you figure they'd try to ruin you if you ever part ways, then it makes NO SENSE to marry them. That, to me, stinks of getting together with someone for superficial reasons and then trying to "lock them down" with marriage out of insecurity. No one should be doing that.
If I am in a relationship with you, I don’t want you to feel trapped or feel like you have to divorce me and take half of my stuff in order to get out.
Just make sure you get involved with someone who's got a lot of her own stuff, then you'd get half of that if you split.
I think marriage requires a hella lot of trust. I, myself, am pleased and honored that my husband trusted me that much. And for me, the very fact that he proposed and married me, helped me to trust him.
It isn't a first marriage for either of us, so trust was a big deal to me.
People leave all the time, and they don't give their spouse half of anything (My divorce didn't cost me a dime, and neither of us paid the other any spousal support) Of course that depends on your marriage as well, if you marry someone that doesn't work and you have kids, then you should be obligated to pay child support, and at least for a period of time some spousal support. Then again, this is all moot, because no one has to get married.
People leave all the time, and they don't give their spouse half of anything (My divorce didn't cost me a dime, and neither of us paid the other any spousal support) Of course that depends on your marriage as well, if you marry someone that doesn't work and you have kids, then you should be obligated to pay child support, and at least for a period of time some spousal support. Then again, this is all moot, because no one has to get married.
This is true, but at the same time I think some of these guys are kidding themselves if they think that not being married means that a relationship is easier or less involved or not fraught with emotions because they never said "I do." If a couple has been together for years and split up, it's going to be difficult whether or not there's a piece of paper.
This is why I don’t believe in marriage. I feel that if a relationship runs its course, then the other person should be able to leave. If I am in a relationship with you, I don’t want you to feel trapped or feel like you have to divorce me and take half of my stuff in order to get out. Why does society push people into marriage? It obviously doesn’t work for most people. I don’t know that love can last a lifetime anyway. That’s all fairy tales and crap they should save for the movies. True love doesn’t exist, right ? Or does it? I think most couples that stay together for a long time are just afraid of being alone or they just stay out convenience, not out of love.
Cynical much? I guess you're a glass half empty kind of guy. Marriage ain't for you...fine, but for others it works. You really could use some counselling to deal with your pathetic outlook on life.
This is true, but at the same time I think some of these guys are kidding themselves if they think that not being married means that a relationship is easier or less involved or not fraught with emotions because they never said "I do." If a couple has been together for years and split up, it's going to be difficult whether or not there's a piece of paper.
Aint that the truth. Heck, Mariah Carey didn't even marry her last guy, and she sued him and got paid, just because she didn't like him LOL!!! So yeah if you have lived together for a long time, and co mingled finances and all that, and break up? Somebody is probably going to court
People who believe marriage is about "me" rather than "we" shouldn't get married to begin with.
Yap if you're a selfish bastard then yes marriage is not for you. LOL. This, coming from a self proclaimed selfish fool who had been alone for almost 4 decades of her life.
I'm married now so I guess I'm selfless now. Try it sometime you selfish, single lonely posters here. LOL.
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