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Honestly I wonder what might have been behind all that, and what more there is to the story.
I have NEVER seen a girl or woman, in the past...let me count. 35 years or so?...of dating, from high school until today, scream the F-word to reject a boy/man just for asking her out, unless he literally said something vile, or was doing something vile. (For instance, my friend yelled at our other friend's boyfriend trying to ask her out immediately after dumping our friend. He was gross about it, too. He was graphic with what the "date" would have been.)
But under normal, non-invasive, non-perverted circumstances?
Never. Literally not one single time.
I actually have a cousin who is downright mean to guys (of all the women I know: family and friends, she's the only one like that). But you know what, it doesn't matter, men flock to her. They always have, ever since we were teens.
For all the talk that women like bad boys, it seems to me that a fair number of men like bad girls too... or at least some do. She's in a relationship serious now with a guy 10 years her junior, but when we were both single, she would have a new date every few days whereas I sat on the sidelines for months on end... even years. I think it has something to do with this idea that some men have that sex is better with crazy women (because she comes across that way).
As far as I know however, she’s never yelled a curse word at a man. She’s a bit more of a player than that. Than again, I really don’t hang out with her much anymore. We just see each other at family events now and Facebook.
I'm not often in places where women get approached a lot, so I can't offer anything meaningful on that. But I've been holding doors and watching other people hold doors for 50 years, and I've never witnessed any hostility. About the only awkwardness comes when trying to decide how near the door the next person, man or woman, should be before I wait. If I guess miscalculate and they're several seconds behind me, they often break into a little trot so I won't be standing there holding the door forever. So maybe that bit of thoughtfulness is hostile? Nope, just thoughtful.
I open the doors for everyone as well, because that is how I was raised. Ive had 3 experiences within a 12 month period where women gave me dirty looks or scolded me for holding door open for them, because they told me that they can open their own door. I have seen exact same scenario happen to other men on more than couple occasions, not to mention dozens of men echoing the exact same experience. I have nothing to gain by making this up. I assure you, all men in the world dont meet in secret to discuss how we can all start lying about how feminism made women believe that a basic courtesy like opening the door for them is an insult.
I open the doors for everyone as well, because that is how I was raised. Ive had 3 experiences within a 12 month period where women gave me dirty looks or scolded me for holding door open for them, because they told me that they can open their own door. I have seen exact same scenario happen to other men on more than couple occasions, not to mention dozens of men echoing the exact same experience. I have nothing to gain by making this up. I assure you, all men in the world dont meet in secret to discuss how we can all start lying about how feminism made women believe that a basic courtesy like opening the door for them is an insult.
I am curious, three women were mean, but how many said "Thank you" or smiled when you held the door? I always say thank you (no matter who holds a door). I just wonder if sometimes we lose perspective when a bad experience sticks out. I say this as a woman who was once (literally) yelled at by a man I said "hello" to at a party. He yelled, "Go the ___ away ___!" I didn't know him from Adam, but I still, to this day, clearly remember it. But I don't really remember all the men I said, "hello" to that year (or even at that single party) who simply smiled and said "hello" back or I had conversations with, etc. I know they outnumber the psycho guy but he's the one I clearly remember.
I open the doors for everyone as well, because that is how I was raised. Ive had 3 experiences within a 12 month period where women gave me dirty looks or scolded me for holding door open for them, because they told me that they can open their own door. I have seen exact same scenario happen to other men on more than couple occasions, not to mention dozens of men echoing the exact same experience. I have nothing to gain by making this up. I assure you, all men in the world dont meet in secret to discuss how we can all start lying about how feminism made women believe that a basic courtesy like opening the door for them is an insult.
Never once had this happen to me
Or witnessed it
Or had any person I know tell me that it happened to them
Maybe it's something about the way you open doors for women?
I probably hold a door open for literally 5-7 women per day, of all different ages. As well as men.
Not once has a woman scolded me for holding a door for them. Not once has it ever happened.
I’ve had a few not say thank you, or give me a dirty look, but I’ve run into the same thing with some of the men. The percentages are probably about even. And when they don’t say thank you or they give me a dirty look, I chalk it up to either them having a bad day/in a bad mood, or just being rude people.
Would have been better if done personally. I think everybody takes rejection poorly especially if someone has developed some feelings for the other or especially for those who've been rejected before.
I am curious, three women were mean, but how many said "Thank you" or smiled when you held the door? I always say thank you (no matter who holds a door). I just wonder if sometimes we lose perspective when a bad experience sticks out. I say this as a woman who was once (literally) yelled at by a man I said "hello" to at a party. He yelled, "Go the ___ away ___!" I didn't know him from Adam, but I still, to this day, clearly remember it. But I don't really remember all the men I said, "hello" to that year (or even at that single party) who simply smiled and said "hello" back or I had conversations with, etc. I know they outnumber the psycho guy but he's the one I clearly remember.
I agree. We might open thousands of doors in a lifetime bit THREE people are mean about it? Which means, don't ever hold a door for someone?
I probably hold a door open for literally 5-7 women per day, of all different ages. As well as men.
Not once has a woman scolded me for holding a door for them. Not once has it ever happened.
I’ve had a few not say thank you, or give me a dirty look, but I’ve run into the same thing with some of the men. The percentages are probably about even. And when they don’t say thank you or they give me a dirty look, I chalk it up to either them having a bad day/in a bad mood, or just being rude people.
I've had men give me a dirty look when I held the door.
For all I know they were having a bad day or were simply lost in thought and had resting B face on.
Happened with me very recently, and I agree with you - it is painful AF
Yeah, me too. I'd take F-off right off the bat over this.
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