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OP, I feel like maybe you were searching for reasons to cut this off. I think deep down you just weren't feeling it. Flowers and kisses won't be a turn-off when you meet the right person. I was hoping this would wind up being a love story. But you two just aren't a match.
I barely knew the guy, we only had 5 dates, I don't want to rush into instant commitment with a stranger, I need time to get to know the person. Want someone who actually wants to take the time to get to know me as well and not just judge me based on looks. I am honest and upfront with everyone before meeting, I tell them that I am not looking to jump into a relationship, I prefer to date and become friends first and let things develop naturally.
I barely knew the guy, we only had 5 dates, I don't want to rush into instant commitment with a stranger, I need time to get to know the person. Want someone who actually wants to take the time to get to know me as well and not just judge me based on looks. I am honest and upfront with everyone before meeting, I tell them that I am not looking to jump into a relationship, I prefer to date and become friends first and let things develop naturally.
Yeah, but just one kiss isn't a commitment and definitely not after 5 dates. I'm not saying you're wrong but what you want may be unusual. More than 5 dates just for a "big" kiss? You can find that but it may take some time. I don't think you're wrong but at the same time there is no sense in you thinking he did something wrong either - he wanted something very normal.
As I said, you aren't a match. You were questioning him well before the kiss. Then each thing he did seemed wrong to you. This wasn't because of the kiss. Nobody is to blame, just move on.
Yeah, but just one kiss isn't a commitment and definitely not after 5 dates. I'm not saying you're wrong but what you want may be unusual. More than 5 dates just for a "big" kiss? You can find that but it may take some time. I don't think you're wrong but at the same time there is no sense in you thinking he did something wrong either - he wanted something very normal.
As I said, you aren't a match. You were questioning him well before the kiss. Then each thing he did seemed wrong to you. This wasn't because of the kiss. Nobody is to blame, just move on.
Yup.
She's just not that into him. If she was, this wouldn't be an issue.
To you. Roses are not even one of my top five favorite flowers. And I think you're being completely unrealistic to expect roses from a man you won't even let kiss you. Sounds like you wouldn't let him romance you, although he tried.
To you. Roses are not even one of my top five favorite flowers. And I think you're being completely unrealistic to expect roses from a man you won't even let kiss you. Sounds like you wouldn't let him romance you, although he tried.
Yeah, OP it's not fair to judge a man by unwritten rules.
A realistic person would be gracious and thankful that he got her flowers rather than critical, judgmental and pissy that he didn't read your mind.
I have it written on my person ad, roses are for romance, so it's there in black and white to the one discerning gentleman that takes the time to actually show real interested in me.
Regardless, so I put my ad back and up went to meet a new guy for lunch. I am still relatively new at this, but in his profile photos he had hair and looked good. In person he was balding badly and had a beer belly.
Normally I would grin and bear it but the thought of having to sit with him for an hour for lunch was making me want to vomit. I hope I wasn't too rude but I told him that this wasn't going to work out, it was nice meeting you but I am going to leave, have a good day. I went and treated myself to lunch and some shopping.
I don't understand why he would put 10 year old photos and act like I won't notice, then waste my time sitting across from him making conversation like nothing is the matter. Honesty is the best policy imo.
I have it written on my person ad, roses are for romance, so it's there in black and white to the one discerning gentleman that takes the time to actually show real interested in me.
Does it just say it like that? Do you think that is clear enough that men will know it means not to mess around and give you any other kind of flower?
Where I am from, red roses = "true love," so I can understand why a man might not want to offer you those early on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PetiteGem
I don't understand why he would put 10 year old photos and act like I won't notice, then waste my time sitting across from him making conversation like nothing is the matter.
From what I hear, that's very common with online dating.
Did you say something about the discrepancy so he will know what the problem is?
I have it written on my person ad, roses are for romance, so it's there in black and white to the one discerning gentleman that takes the time to actually show real interested in me.
Regardless, so I put my ad back and up went to meet a new guy for lunch. I am still relatively new at this, but in his profile photos he had hair and looked good. In person he was balding badly and had a beer belly.
Normally I would grin and bear it but the thought of having to sit with him for an hour for lunch was making me want to vomit. I hope I wasn't too rude but I told him that this wasn't going to work out, it was nice meeting you but I am going to leave, have a good day. I went and treated myself to lunch and some shopping.
I don't understand why he would put 10 year old photos and act like I won't notice, then waste my time sitting across from him making conversation like nothing is the matter. Honesty is the best policy imo.
Rude, that was just rude. He wasn't honest with his pictures, but there is a right way to treat a person.
Most people schedule a short meet like coffee or a drink which could last a few minutes or a few hours. Since you feel the urge to vomit easily, you may want to consider short meets. It is quite possible that some man may feel the urge to vomit sitting across the table from you.
Does it just say it like that? Do you think that is clear enough that men will know it means not to mess around and give you any other kind of flower?
Where I am from, red roses = "true love," so I can understand why a man might not want to offer you those early on.
From what I hear, that's very common with online dating.
Did you say something about the discrepancy so he will know what the problem is?
I see now about the roses, I actually love white roses but remove that and be more open to possibilities.
As for telling him that I didn't think it was nice how he has photos that are at least 10 years old and he is now bald and looking beat, no I didn't say that. I stayed about 15 minutes to see if there was any chemistry but he wouldn't stop complaining about his work and his ex-wife. At that point, I was thinking to myself, we haven't ordered and I cannot sit another 45 minutes listening to this banter so decided to call it a day.
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But you two just aren't a match.
