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I agree. Outside of religious stigma and old-fashioned social gossip, why is divorce a bad thing? Not that people should not take marriage seriously or not honor their commitments, but if a marriage isn't working and the two people involved are unhappy and want to end it and go their separate ways, why is that a problem? Why should they be condemned because they either made a bad choice or can't compromise? Contracts are dissolved all the time.
Divorce could not be easier. It's division of assets and child-rearing responsibilities that are difficult. Both of which are necessary when a non-marriage dissolves also.
Curious though. What measures would you put in place to make divorce even easier?
Divorce could not be easier. It's division of assets and child-rearing responsibilities that are difficult. Both of which are necessary when a non-marriage dissolves also.
Curious though. What measures would you put in place to make divorce even easier?
I wasn't really responding to that poster's desire to make divorce easier. I don't really have a dog in the fight in that respect. My response was triggered by curiosity about these male posters who drift over here from the manosphere, and seem to see divorce as this big racket run by women who want to destroy men. A divorce is breaking a contract. It's not necessarily a good or bad thing, especially when done by reasonable people, nor should it be be a source of stigma or shame.
No. Absolutely not. Marriage is a personal choice just like divorce is. Is it even difficult to get a divorce these days? I know it used to be back in the day. This is like saying that it should be difficult to have children; another personal choice that people have to learn how to deal with, regardless of how ill informed their decision making process often is.
Plus as others have mentioned marriage adds a lot of money to the economy. Wedding cakes, renting out churches, guests making hotel reservations, getting a preacher, paying for tuxedos, dresses for bridesmaids, photographers, videographers, guests making travel reservations, dresses that sell for $10,000, disc jockeys, wedding planners; I'm sure there's something I'm forgetting. lol; no way that we are ever going to make it difficult for people to get married just because there are people that end up getting divorced. If anything people are making money at both ends why would you want to ruin that for anyone.
Not to mention the ongoing, ancillary benefits of this to the economy, no way! Why do you think the state made it easier for men to marry men and women to marry women in this country? You honestly think that was a moral and ethical issue you must be living under a rock.
I wasn't really responding to that poster's desire to make divorce easier. I don't really have a dog in the fight in that respect. My response was triggered by curiosity about these male posters who drift over here from the manosphere, and seem to see divorce as this big racket run by women who want to destroy men. A divorce is breaking a contract. It's not necessarily a good or bad thing, especially when done by reasonable people, nor should it be be a source of stigma or shame.
Well then if all this is routinely happening anyway what will making marriage harder (and later) do to change anything at all???
It will just in that case be more red tape, and more administrative frees and the like.
If you're correct then this would in no way "prevent" apparently stupid people from continuing to have kids, buy property, and on and on...so...what would the point be? What radical change is this all going to bring about?
I agree...
Which is why I would rather just keep Marriage (and what it means) between the couples and their (if religious matrimony) church.
No reason for the government to get involved at all when it comes to the personal arrangements between individuals.
I kinda feel a bit of agreement on the 25+ thing. Only because I do think that our brains aren't done cooking until mid-20s, but I don't think that would solve the problem. Because you can still get pregnant and all that. I wish we were unable to conceive until after our brains were done developing, that would be a neat evolution, but not blinkin' likely. Oh, well.
Getting pregnant was the game changer for me, not getting married. Getting married? Just a piece of paper. Facilitated military benefits. It was having kids together, that forced me to TRY to make a bad relationship work for so long. That changed it from "boyfriend and girlfriend" to "family."
I do not think that getting married needs to be any harder, and I don't think that getting divorced needs to be all that hard. The main difference that makes one easier than the other, is simple. Two people agreeing, versus two people disagreeing. When you get married, presumably you're both in agreement that this is a thing you wish to do. You don't need a mediator, or lawyer, or judge, to arbitrate a fight, or to make someone follow the orders of the court. You're both willing. If, in a divorce, both people are in full agreement on everything that needs to happen, then you don't need lawyers or mediators, and it's not that difficult.
My divorce involved a cheap paralegal just to make sure the paperwork and steps were done right, it cost us...I think about $300 or so? Mostly a matter of court costs. A couple of mornings spent on bureaucratic errands. We'd already sat and hashed out every detail of what we were going to do. No child support, no alimony. Later when the decision was made for our older son to come live with me, after he was 18, we made a "gentleman's agreement" to have him send some money to help out with his upkeep. I don't need the court to enforce it. If he can't afford it, we can talk about that. Neither of us saw any sense in making this whole thing any harder than it needed to be, we were just trying to get through the end of the relationship and go on with our lives.
No one is making anyone get married. If you worry that a woman is going to "get you" in a divorce...maybe choose not to marry her in the first place? You do have that free will, ya know?
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What radical change is this all going to bring about?
