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I was with my ex-husband for 24 years. We didn't have children. I found myself "starting over" at 50. Fast forward a few years and a few relationships, but not remarried.
OP, does that make me any better off than you? So on my deathbed I can say, "Ahhh, at least I had a failed marriage"!
You could be married for 50 years and end up dying alone, especially if you are the surviving spouse of a 50 year marriage.
At the moment of death, usually no one else is in the room anyways, provided that it is a terminal illness, heart attack, or stroke.
Not everyone wants to get married. Marriage actually doesn't provide the benefits it once did. Having kids is pretty expensive too, and not everyone wants that.
I'd say around 40-45 is about when that outcome becomes more probable for both sexes.
I hit my mid-30s and realized I was not a "relationship" person. It took me a few more years to figure out exactly why. But the truth? Generally when I decide to do something, I do it, with a few exceptions. If getting married or having kids was really something I wanted, I would have made it happen.
Right now I'm single, with a great career, a ton of friends I adore, family members who love me, some awesome pets, my own house and a bunch of hobbies. I don't feel like I'm missing out and I'm glad I never just "went with the flow" and got married or popped out some kids. I have a FWB whom I adore as a very good friend and a compatible lover - I genuinely care about the guy. But I'd never have a relationship with him - he's too self-destructive and pigheaded.
If you really know you want to be married and have children, start seeing a therapist to help you work on the parts of yourself that may be preventing that. It really isn't too late pretty much ever, except for the kids. My friend's sister just got remarried at 70.
... Anybody can get married at any age, and they do, no matter what anyone else thinks. Meryl Streep just got married for the first time, IIRC, in her 60's.
Actually, Meryl Streep has been married for something like 40 years to an artist, Don Gummar, and has four kids with him. I don't know where that rumor started that she just got married but it's not true. She was engaged to the actor who played Fredo in "Godfather" and he died of a brain tumor. She sublet Don Gummar's apartment and they were married shortly thereafter, apparently quite well.
Women get married at all ages, including in their 60's for first marriages, as well as 2nd marriage, even 70's. Anybody can get married at any age, and they do, no matter what anyone else thinks. Meryl Streep just got married for the first time, IIRC, in her 60's.
Streep has been married for 35+ years, from what I understand. Let's not turn this forum into that font of accuracy, Facebook.
You can find love @ any age... why does one have to 'give up?'
Because, in the words of Alanis Morissette, 'it's easier not to, so much easier not to, and what goes around never comes around to you.'
Life is complicated enough already. Why make it more so by taking on someone else's baggage, expectations and whims so you can avoid being alone?
Make yourself the first priority. Set goals, achieve them and be someone who is comfortable in their own company and their own skin.
If more people approached life this way, we might finally see the death of the toxic mindset that people who choose not to couple or breed are failures and not proper grownups. The population would drop too, which is no bad thing.
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