Punctuality. How important is it to you? (how to, married, guy)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Seriously? If someone was going to be four late for anything, there better be a natural disaster in play. Or a huge pileup on the freeway.
But just dithering around and being four hours late? I don't care how eloquent the apology is. That's just unbelievably rude. It doesn't matter how many days in advance they made plans. That's just making excuses for the woman in the first place.
OP, as an addendum to my earlier post, have some self-respect.
So far you, nor I know the "EXCUSE" she has for being late. So, you're use of "dithering" is presumptuous. If the OP was really interested in the lady, then try it again, be guarded. I did not make excuses. One time of a problem, is an exception. Would it have been better had she told him early on she couldn't make it until later, and maybe they should call it off for the day? Would have been more courteous, but, human nature also comes into play. We want to meet, stuff happens. She could have very easily had commitments that she couldn't avoid. I myself try to be punctual, I believe that if I'm late for a meeting, I'm telling the other person(s) that my time is more important than theirs so therefor it's ok for them to wait for me. That I don't value their time as being important to them. ergo, I try to be as punctual as possible. I've waited a time or two in my day, and had some weak excuses. But i'm a forgiving compassionate and understanding person. I look for a pattern, not to behead someone because time and circumstances made being punctual a problem. You have no idea of what transpired. so harsh recommendations are unnecessary at this juncture.
We were supposed to go out a week or two ago, but she ended up having the flu. What really frustrated me was that I was on-call this Saturday, and the highest volume of calls seems to come in from like 3-6. I didn't get any calls, but I have to lug around a laptop and a pager. I'm on call 1/4 weekends and it's hard for me to commit to something on those weekends. I was willing to go out on a special occasion.
She wanted to go to this painting place (I didn't want to do this), but I was afraid I'd get a call and wouldn't be able to complete it. We decided on bowling instead.
I used to work up in the sticks of southwest VA and people from up there are often just weird. They don't get out much and really live in a bubble.
There are a few decent restaurants in that town. I may go up there Wednesday, but that will definitely be it if it doesn't look optimistic.
We were supposed to go out a week or two ago, but she ended up having the flu. What really frustrated me was that I was on-call this Saturday, and the highest volume of calls seems to come in from like 3-6. I didn't get any calls, but I have to lug around a laptop and a pager. I'm on call 1/4 weekends and it's hard for me to commit to something on those weekends. I was willing to go out on a special occasion.
She wanted to go to this painting place (I didn't want to do this), but I was afraid I'd get a call and wouldn't be able to complete it. We decided on bowling instead.
I used to work up in the sticks of southwest VA and people from up there are often just weird. They don't get out much and really live in a bubble.
There are a few decent restaurants in that town. I may go up there Wednesday, but that will definitely be it if it doesn't look optimistic.
If she's had the flu on one date, cancelled, then this happened, (whatever the reasons for being 4 hrs late is, you haven't shared that with the forum) then I would say she doesn't respect your time and feels like you are a second place prize. She'll go out with you after all others have bailed. basically, you're better than nothing attitude.
Your decision, Once cancellation, one blow-off?. not a good start. To make any assessment on her, what was her excuse for not being available at 12 and waiting until 3 to leave her house?
So far you, nor I know the "EXCUSE" she has for being late. So, you're use of "dithering" is presumptuous. If the OP was really interested in the lady, then try it again, be guarded. I did not make excuses. One time of a problem, is an exception. Would it have been better had she told him early on she couldn't make it until later, and maybe they should call it off for the day? Would have been more courteous, but, human nature also comes into play. We want to meet, stuff happens. She could have very easily had commitments that she couldn't avoid. I myself try to be punctual, I believe that if I'm late for a meeting, I'm telling the other person(s) that my time is more important than theirs so therefor it's ok for them to wait for me. That I don't value their time as being important to them. ergo, I try to be as punctual as possible. I've waited a time or two in my day, and had some weak excuses. But i'm a forgiving compassionate and understanding person. I look for a pattern, not to behead someone because time and circumstances made being punctual a problem. You have no idea of what transpired. so harsh recommendations are unnecessary at this juncture.
Please.
There's an enormous gulf between calling ahead and saying, "Hey, I'm going to be thirty minutes late," and just radio silence for three hours. The first is a shrug of the shoulders. The second is a sign that there is something seriously wrong with this person. She called the first time. Why didn't she call a second and say, "Hey, this is going to be way later than I thought"?
I mean, hell, when my father suddenly lapsed into a coma and I had to go the emergency room, I had a date that night. And I had the presence of mind amid the chaos and the doctors and everything else to call her up and say, "I'm sorry, but this has happened...."
And that's the basic operative phrase: Presence of mind. She had none. Whatever the heck she was doing, whether it was just getting sucked into a Netflix binge or something more serious (Which I doubt, since OP didn't say that she gave an excuse), she didn't think to pick up the phone and call him once during this period.
You mention she might have had commitments she couldn't avoid. Fine. Why didn't she reschedule the date? Why did she schedule the date for that day in the first place. I mean, you're kind of on your best behavior for your first date. You'd think she would have been more conscientious than this.
So far you, nor I know the "EXCUSE" she has for being late. So, you're use of "dithering" is presumptuous. If the OP was really interested in the lady, then try it again, be guarded. I did not make excuses. One time of a problem, is an exception. Would it have been better had she told him early on she couldn't make it until later, and maybe they should call it off for the day? Would have been more courteous, but, human nature also comes into play. We want to meet, stuff happens. She could have very easily had commitments that she couldn't avoid. I myself try to be punctual, I believe that if I'm late for a meeting, I'm telling the other person(s) that my time is more important than theirs so therefor it's ok for them to wait for me. That I don't value their time as being important to them. ergo, I try to be as punctual as possible. I've waited a time or two in my day, and had some weak excuses. But i'm a forgiving compassionate and understanding person. I look for a pattern, not to behead someone because time and circumstances made being punctual a problem. You have no idea of what transpired. so harsh recommendations are unnecessary at this juncture.
But this is on the first date, when everyone is supposed to be on their very best behavior. If her very best behavior is to not even be ready to go until 4 hours after the date was supposed to have begun, that's not setting a great example. Stuff happens, but it wasn't the case that OP's date walked out of her house to see a flat tire, or got delayed through no fault of her own. If she had unavoidable commitments, then she shouldn't have scheduled a date for that day. No, she was too lazy to get her act together to make a great first impression. And she'd already cancelled once. OP has every right to judge her on that.
If she's had the flu on one date, cancelled, then this happened, (whatever the reasons for being 4 hrs late is, you haven't shared that with the forum) then I would say she doesn't respect your time and feels like you are a second place prize. She'll go out with you after all others have bailed. basically, you're better than nothing attitude.
Your decision, Once cancellation, one blow-off?. not a good start. To make any assessment on her, what was her excuse for not being available at 12 and waiting until 3 to leave her house?
She said she was nervous at first and claimed the bar in her closet collapsed and that she wanted to sort through it since it was already down. I know it sounds completely ridiculous.
Just move on man. SHe doesnt care about you nor was she ever interested. If she did, she would be 15 minutes early, on your first planned meeting. DOnt play yourself, youre wasting your time
She said she was nervous at first and claimed the bar in her closet collapsed and that she wanted to sort through it since it was already down. I know it sounds completely ridiculous.
When I was in highschool it was VERY important for girls to not be late.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
