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It'a a slippery slope. Have you told your spouse about the lunch and coffee? Your answer to that one question will give you the answer to your original question.
Really hilarious...you talk all about your kid and what makes you happy but not a word about your wife?
And you're so innocent after it was you making the moves each time to stay in touch. You know what everyone's going to tell you here, right? Try working half as hard making your wife feel good as you do this...diversion from your real life.
Really hilarious...you talk all about your kid and what makes you happy but not a word about your wife?
And you're so innocent after it was you making the moves each time to stay in touch. You know what everyone's going to tell you here, right? Try working half as hard making your wife feel good as you do this...diversion from your real life.
If you're feeling guilty, then you already know the answer.
I'm someone that works in a biz that has lots of women. Women who are sharp, well-spoken, and typically have a professional appearance at all times. Many are, on their own, very desirable women. They are my clients. They are my colleagues. I travel with them, drink with them, and eat with them. I have cultivated long-term friendships with them. I have traveled with them internationally for weeks at a time. And, way more than once, I've had overtures tossed my way. Not hints, either. When a woman slides her hand up your thigh at the dinner table or calls with an invitation to her room at 11 pm, she isn't merely flirting.
Never crossed the line. First, it would be professional death. Many a career has been ruined in this way. Second, and more importantly, I love my wife and would hate myself for betraying her in a momentary lapse.
More power to you. In the situations you describe, I'm not sure I would have had the willpower, even if I thought my marriage was strong.
Folks--I truly appreciate all the responses triggered by this thread--yes, including the chastisements. This is truly the value of this forum--getting candid responses from viewpoints that are not biased by personally knowing any of the parties involved (in this case, myself and my wife).
To clarify something upfront--this woman and I are not co-workers, and haven't been for years. As someone who has worked in management of corporate America, this is a line I have always been cognizant of and never crossed.
One theme is clear from the responses--that I should try investing the same emotional energy into my current situation and try to make it work. A lot of merit to this idea, and not something I've given up on. I think the physical distance and infrequent contact will anyway force the issue. And no, I do not plan to initiate any followup communication with the woman from here on.
While I did not go into the lunch thinking it would be (realistically) more than a catchup, what admittedly changed me was the way she interacted with me. It was almost like we had a past connection. Even something simple like the hug she gave me at the end...while totally normal in the US...is apparently not at all an accepted practice between friends of the opposite sex in Korea. But the posters who very perceptively noticed that I didn't ask about her boyfriend (very true) and that I didn't talk about my wife much (also true) are on to something, and that's the part I need to come to grips with myself. Yes, things can get stale after 25 yrs, but hopefully not unsalvageable.
20yrsinBranson capsulized my initial feelings very well. I hope I can at least carry the memories of a very pleasant human interaction with me, while I work on my marriage! Thank you all very much, you have helped crystallize a few things in my life.
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