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[SIZE=3][/SIZE][SIZE=3]As a 22 year old young man, I fell head over heels in lovewith a 20 year old beautiful young lady.[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]I got along great with her parents, enjoyed every moment of being withher, loved to go dancing with her and yes we became passionate lovers. About 1year into the 2 year relationship I felt something was wrong that she wasseeing someone on the side and time would prove truthful.[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]I couldn’t get the nerve up to talk to herabout it but at times she mentioned she was out with just “friends”.[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]Living in a tight community I was told of herbeing seen with another male and there was terrible arguments between her andher mother (later figured out arguments related to her dating other guys).[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]At this time I clammed up and failed todiscuss this with her because I knew I didn’t have her heart.[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]I was afraid of losing her and knew I wouldbe struggling with the pain of the loss.[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]It got worse as one evening I picked her up and she had hickeys on herneck and to make matters worse her mother was upset with this and criticizedher in front of me.[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]She saw I wasupset when I asked her why she allowed this to happen, her answer was just a“friend”.[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]Shortly afterwards I brokeup with her which absolutely killed me.[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]Three months later she came to my apartment apologizing for what she didbut had the nerve to inform me her recent engagement had just broken off.[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]This was so hard for me to hear as it wasproof of her cheating behind my back.[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]Prior to this visit, I really missed her after the break up and I knew Iwas in still Love with her more than ever.[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]If she apologized and professed any kind of love, I would have taken herback right there. Before she left we ended up in bed and I believe she thoughtin her mind this would make things better.[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]But I was really upset that she got engaged within 3 months of our breakup and the thought that I would take her back played heavy on my emotions. Isaid I would call her but couldn’t.[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]Iwas tortured of her being in my mind even more after this![/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]I stopped dating all together and threwmyself into work.[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]Exactly 12 monthslater, she appeared at my door again.[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]She apologized for her decisions and wanted to get back. I was stunned thatshe came back. We talked, I couldn’t process this whole thing to even speak orthink intelligently to her. [/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]I kept mycomposure and ended up in hugs and then made love to her.[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]As she left I said I would call her but neverdid.[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]I couldn’t, I was really dazed and confused,hurt and still could not forgive her.[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]Within a couple years she married and soon had 2 children.[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]Shortly afterwards she divorced.[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]She did remarry to a professional that is 14years her senior.[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]Her sugar daddy cameand took care of her and children through her life.[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]She was now locked into relationship beingshe was in love or not (I would guess not).[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]I felt sad for her but still kept thinking about her hoping thingsworked out for her.[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]As for me, an angelfell from the sky, hit me in the head and I was never the same again for thegood! We have 2 wonderful, successful sons, our marriage is great and Icouldn’t be happier.[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]So, why am Ispeaking about this?[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]It’s been [/SIZE][SIZE=3]40[/SIZE][SIZE=3] years since I first fell in lovewith HK and through all my successes with career, marriage and family I’m stillhaunted by my first lost love and I don’t have an answer on why or know how to curethis. [/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3]Maybe talking about this in thisforum will take the first steps on putting this to rest as I am still hauntedby a lost love. [/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3][/SIZE]
As a 22 year old young man, I fell head over heels in lovewith a 20 year old beautiful young lady. I got along great with her parents, enjoyed every moment of being with her, loved to go dancing with her and yes we became passionate lovers. About 1 year into the 2 year relationship I felt something was wrong that she wasseeing someone on the side and time would prove truthful.I couldn’t get the nerve up to talk to herabout it but at times she mentioned she was out with just “friends”. Living in a tight community I was told of herbeing seen with another male and there was terrible arguments between her and her mother (later figured out arguments related to her dating other guys).At this time I clammed up and failed todiscuss this with her because I knew I didn’t have her heart.I was afraid of losing her and knew I wouldbe struggling with the pain of the loss.It got worse as one evening I picked her up and she had hickeys on herneck and to make matters worse her mother was upset with this and criticizedher in front of me.She saw I wasupset when I asked her why she allowed this to happen, her answer was just a“friend”.Shortly afterwards I brokeup with her which absolutely killed me.Three months later she came to my apartment apologizing for what she didbut had the nerve to inform me her recent engagement had just broken off. This was so hard for me to hear as it wasproof of her cheating behind my back.Prior to this visit, I really missed her after the break up and I knew Iwas in still Love with her more than ever.If she apologized and professed any kind of love, I would have taken herback right there. Before she left we ended up in bed and I believe she thoughtin her mind this would make things better.But I was really upset that she got engaged within 3 months of our breakup and the thought that I would take her back played heavy on my emotions. Isaid I would call her but couldn’t.
Iwas tortured of her being in my mind even more after this!I stopped dating all together and threwmyself into work.Exactly 12 monthslater, she appeared at my door again.She apologized for her decisions and wanted to get back. I was stunned thatshe came back. We talked, I couldn’t process this whole thing to even speak orthink intelligently to her. I kept mycomposure and ended up in hugs and then made love to her. As she left I said I would call her but neverdid. I couldn’t, I was really dazed and confused,hurt and still could not forgive her. Within a couple years she married and soon had 2 children. Shortly afterwards she divorced. She did remarry to a professional that is 14years her senior. Her sugar daddy cameand took care of her and children through her life. She was now locked into relationship beingshe was in love or not (I would guess not). I felt sad for her but still kept thinking about her hoping thingsworked out for her. As for me, an angelfell from the sky, hit me in the head and I was never the same again for thegood! We have 2 wonderful, successful sons, our marriage is great and Icouldn’t be happier.
So, why am Ispeaking about this?It’s been 40 years since I first fell in lovewith HK and through all my successes with career, marriage and family I’m still haunted by my first lost love and I don’t have an answer on why or know how to curethis. Maybe talking about this in thisforum will take the first steps on putting this to rest as I am still hauntedby a lost love.
I took out the formatting errors, but I'm not doing all the other editing though. :0
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I was going to do it but got daunted by the task.
