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I always admitted it's my self esteem issues and to thinking I'm not good enough.
Classy calling me " chicken" like i said Men with anxiety or self esteem issues are mocked and ridiculed here.
I've dealt with my own anxiety issues for quite a while, but the thing is, you have to deal with these issues, or they win. It sucks, and it's hard, and it goes against everything you want to do, but if you want your life to be different, you have to make it different.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,957,550 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
I've dealt with my own anxiety issues for quite a while, but the thing is, you have to deal with these issues, or they win. It sucks, and it's hard, but if you want your life to be different, you have to make it different.
Yup, "I have low self esteem" can't be a life long crutch. Life is too short.
Address it. Change it. I was depressed and had really low self esteem almost all my 20s and battled it a bit into my 30s. It still creeps in from time to time, but it can be managed.
I've dealt with my own anxiety issues for quite a while, but the thing is, you have to deal with these issues, or they win. It sucks, and it's hard, and it goes against everything you want to do, but if you want your life to be different, you have to make it different.
Was chatting with a guy, 40 years old, single no kids, decent job, never been in a relationship longer than a couple of months. Nothing special looks-wise, doesn't seem to be a player either. Didn't strike me as someone who has an endless stream of women willing to have no-strings sex with.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980
That's me except im 37.
Like the guy you described im just not attractive to women..
So you have had some short-term sexual relationships. You sure kept that a secret!
If you can do a short term, you can get into a long term. It takes more effort, empathy and generosity to be a long term partner.
Yeah I go out to bars every few weeks or so with friends I just don't have the balls to approach random women even when drunk..
Plus I don't think im attractive enough for a women to want a one night stand with me.
if you never had sex before, my honest opinion is a one night stand may not work for you. I could be wrong, but you may not be able to separate emotion and sex, and may end up getting hurt in the long run. But if you think it's worth the risk, give it a shot.
I missed that part..I've never been in any type of relationship
Oh. I have to admit I was surprised to read that you related to the hypothetical guy the Op describes.
But you are actively trying to change that right? How was your consult with the plastic surgeon? I hope you have made appointments with several to find the best.
I always admitted it's my self esteem issues and to thinking I'm not good enough.
Classy calling me " chicken" like i said Men with anxiety or self esteem issues are mocked and ridiculed here.
Stated a fact. or would you prefer something more PC to ameliorate the harshness of reality. Hmmm, how about "Gender Challenged" "Relationship Inadequate" "Esteem Underprivileged:"
No one is making fun of anyone.... You come on to a public forum, spreading your dirty laundry, asking every one to look at it, then don't want to hear our opinion of what would work to help make it better.
Last I checked,
1. No one forced you to put your life and problems/lack thereof online
2. Most people on here don't know you personally, ergo, its an anonymous statement of fact
3. You don't want to no other people's opinions, don't ask
4. Until you've given our ideas and suggestions a try, then don't complain about no change
5. GO OUT AND TRY to live a life, meet people, say hello to a stranger once a day.
Stated a fact. or would you prefer something more PC to ameliorate the harshness of reality. Hmmm, how about "Gender Challenged" "Relationship Inadequate" "Esteem Underprivileged:"
No one is making fun of anyone.... You come on to a public forum, spreading your dirty laundry, asking every one to look at it, then don't want to hear our opinion of what would work to help make it better.
Last I checked,
1. No one forced you to put your life and problems/lack thereof online
2. Most people on here don't know you personally, ergo, its an anonymous statement of fact
3. You don't want to no other people's opinions, don't ask
4. Until you've given our ideas and suggestions a try, then don't complain about no change
5. GO OUT AND TRY to live a life, meet people, say hello to a stranger once a day.
But then posts like yours can easily be misunderstood as dripping with contempt, since language and tone do matter. Last I checked
Studies show that the longer you wait, the less likely is it to ever happen.
The hard fact is that adults who do not want to be virgins have to do something proactive about it. They need to identify the barriers and aggressively move them out of the way. No, it's not "fair" but it is a direct consequence of failure to act at an earlier age.
Quote:
In the survey, 50% of sexually inexperienced 18-year-olds gained some experience between the ages of 19 and 21, researchers found. That doesn't mean they necessarily lost their virginity though, Halpern explained. Of the remaining virgins, only 5% gained sexual experience between 27 and 30 combined. Approximately 3% of participants in the survey reported never having sex at all.
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