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Stoic means you go ahead and do what needs to be done without making a giant emoto-storm about it, despite what your own feelings may be at the moment.
Stoic doesn't mean you never tell your wife you love her. Stoic means you don't ask her 20 times a day if she still loves you.
Yes...and this is probably a more general thing too...I think my husband would jump off a bridge if I asked him 20 times a day if he still loved me. Or even twice a day.
Um yeah..... no. I don't recall anyone on that plane adhering to the "women and children first". They all got off as quick as they could based on who was closest to the exit. Waiting for women and children would have been stupid as it would have held up disembarking.
I see that our friend John has been sent to the corner, but this:
Quote:
...some people were surprised to learn that, in evacuating, some of the passengers and crew held to the mandate of "women and children first.
doesn't imply that "women and children first" is established policy, it was some people's opinions. Disaster or not, any group of people is going to have a few souls with outdated or inefficient notions.
I am only aware of it as it refers to nautical circumstance where It refers to the “most vulnerable” first.
This encompasses a lot of things in context.
Physically, emotionally, and otherwise. the less capable of self rescue are first to be served as they are the ones in need of the most.
I am sure this phrase has been adopted (and twisted) elsewhere for others means, but it’s origins are nautical in nature and it simply referred to getting those away and out of the way who would not only hold others up if left to their own devices, but would also not have the best means available to help themselves under threat or direst.
Females being the primary giver of child care meant they also usually had little ones in toe to tend to.
You mean it's NOT because society has decided that men (as opposed to children and women) are "disposable"?
Yeah, some people really believe that is the reason.
You mean it's NOT because society has decided that men (as opposed to children and women) are "disposable"?
Yeah, some people really believe that is the reason.
Well, there is some merit to that being society's view. I remember the hand wringing among news people, men and women, during the first gulf war about women coming home in body bags, and how that might make us re-think the war. The implication being that the bags containing young men were somehow less of a concern. Not really an implication, but a clearly logical inference. They were so obtuse as to show a ship carrying body bags containing deceased soldiers (the vast majority being men) from an earlier conflict as their graphic.
I'm not in favor of anyone coming home in a body bag, and the notion that it's worse if women die in or around combat than if men do may be based on some kind of benevolent sexism. Still, that distinction might be lost on the dead men.
Also, the story was flawed because American women have always died in conflict. But that several news outlets that probably had an anti-war agenda chose this tactic is pretty telling. It caused quite an awkward discussion.
Well, there is some merit to that being society's view. I remember the hand wringing among news people, men and women, during the first gulf war about women coming home in body bags, and how that might make us re-think the war. The implication being that the bags containing young men were somehow less of a concern. Not really an implication, but a clearly logical inference. They were so obtuse as to show a ship carrying body bags containing deceased soldiers (the vast majority being men) from an earlier conflict as their graphic.
I'm not in favor of anyone coming home in a body bag, and the notion that it's worse if women die in or around combat than if men do may be based on some kind of benevolent sexism. Still, that distinction might be lost on the dead men.
Also, the story was flawed because American women have always died in conflict. But that several news outlets that probably had an anti-war agenda chose this tactic is pretty telling. It caused quite an awkward discussion.
I remember that too. From almost 30 years ago.
That was when it was unusual for women to die in numbers on the front. It was newer then. We were in transition on that, as with many things. We were still in the thick of women actually supporting themselves, realistically, in numbers rather than the beginnings of women going into the workforce; and in transition still from remembering our mothers, or ourselves, in the 70s and earlier, being women in the home.
That was some time back.
I definitely do not see this slant today, at all, and in fact, if you watch the ads for supporting soldiers and helping them through PTSD and/or injury, it is way more often men than women, with a significant degree of sympathy (as is warranted). By no means are men in these situations expected to just "man up" and be fine with injury, even with dying for a cause.
Been scouring forums and noticed some women say they prefer stoic men who show little emotion..they say Men who show some emotion and may have moments of weakness and cry or show too much effection to them is a sign of weakness and feminine and it turns them off.
How many of you truly get turned off when men show emotion and prefer stoic men?
I will share my story (briefly) with you. I met two men at the end of my marriage. One fawned all over me, the other who was more reserved. Guess which one I was more attracted to? Answer? The one who was more reserved with his affections/emotions.
Why?
My lack of self esteem and issues from my past forced me to only feeling good about myself when I was in control, the pursuer.
MY ISSUES. Be true to yourself. Be kind to yourself. Don't second guess yourself. Be who you are.
Signed,
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