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It’s not mean, but it’s also not helpful to someone with anxiety. She obviously knows that it’s not normal to not be able to cook for herself. Just like I know it’s not normal to have a panic attack before a camping trip. Anxiety can be debilitating and change your perception of what’s possible. It doesn’t make sense to most people that the thought of turning on the stove might be crippling, but that’s some people’s reality. The key is to address it and cope with it.
It’s not appropriate to ask a spouse not to travel because of this issue. I do think there are reasons that a wife might ask a husband to not travel as much, but a lack of cooking ability is not one of them. I hope the OP has this issue addressed so they can move on and enjoy life without avoiding something necessary.
Did you take time to think about happened with your first marriage? Premarital counseling might be helpful.
Since you are not cooking for yourself, you should have time to write your demands to his employer so they can make adjustments accordingly. I'm sure they will be glad to work with your time schedule.
I suspect He should take a close look at what he is getting into.
I would start looking for some 3 week long cooking classes and attend those while he is out of town. Or see a therapist if this is truly a medical condition.
If your Fiance is that bothered by his trips, he should speak up or find another job. Or, maybe he's secretly enjoying having some time where he doesn't have to be the one to cook every day.
Lots of women nowadays cannot/refuse to cook and live alone. If you have anxiety, you do not need to cook to survive.
For those 3 weeks you can get takeout and never even eat the same meal twice. Pizza, Chinese, Thai, Spaghetti, frozen dinners, fast food ... lots of possibilities. 3 weeks of not super healthy food won't kill ya.
Last October my fiancé was sent to Germany for 3 weeks for work. Now he is getting sent again for another 3 weeks. I understand it is part of the job but I don't like it and I don't think it is fair that they keep sending the same 2 people when there are other people that actually want to go (he doesn't want to) and are perfectly capable of doing the work.
They sent one guy for 2 MONTHS while his wife was pregnant. They have no regard for the fact that people have lives and cannot be away from family for that long.
I am pretty independent but being away for 3 weeks is kind of a long time. I can't cook (not allowed b/c I have a tendency of leaving things on and I almost have started fires a few times) so pretty much when he is gone I have to eat salads, sandwiches or go out. I rely on him to cook meals for me.
Not so much that... a part of me is also kind of jealous.
He doesn't want to go, I don't want him to go... I think he should say something to his company about sending someone else.
Am I wrong for this feeling this way? :/
You can't be trusted to cook a meal? I think you have maturity issues.
Thank you. Everyone else was kind of mean in here.
This is exactly what I needed to hear. <3
I don't think anyone is "trying" to be mean to you.
However, I don't think you're seeing the bigger picture. You say you're independent but you don't want your husband to leave mainly because you're too anxious to cook? I can understand anxiety, because I deal with it from to time. Like the poster you quoted stated: The only way to conquer your fear is to do it. Adults have to deal with and do things they hate on a daily basis. It's not fair to hinder someone else's life because you don't want to do simple things to take care of yourself.
I don't think anyone is "trying" to be mean to you.
However, I don't think you're seeing the bigger picture. You say you're independent but you don't want your husband to leave mainly because you're too anxious to cook? I can understand anxiety, because I deal with it from to time. Like the poster you quoted stated: The only way to conquer your fear is to do it. Adults have to deal with and do things they hate on a daily basis. It's not fair to hinder someone else's life because you don't want to do simple things to take care of yourself.
maybe he likes to baby her. Talking about fetish again . He proposed to her ... And he will be her second husband. Seems like he is well aware what he is getting into and he prefers her over a woman who is independent. No healthy man would get into a relationship with a woman openly declaring FEAR over cooking. If she's becoming independent, who knows, he may look for another project where he can be THE MAN.
maybe he likes to baby her. Talking about fetish again . He proposed to her ... And he will be her second husband. Seems like he is well aware what he is getting into and he prefers her over a woman who is independent. No healthy man would get into a relationship with a woman openly declaring FEAR over cooking. If she's becoming independent, who knows, he may look for another project where he can be THE MAN.
This is a little off topic, but OP do you plan on having kids some day? If so, you’ll need to cook for them. If you haven’t already, I suggest getting therapy for this issue ASAP! As I said earlier, this is your husbands job. You two need to discuss the situation, but it’s not your decision alone to make your husband switch jobs because you don’t like him traveling. He had to make a living!
I'm super forgetful and I just forget to turn things off sometimes. It makes me nervous. I get anxiety in the kitchen.
Timers are good - there are great apps for your phone so you can have multiple things cooking at once with their own timer.
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. He proposed to her ... And he will be her second husband. Seems like he is well aware what he is getting into and he prefers her over a woman who is independent. No healthy man would get into a relationship with a woman openly declaring FEAR over cooking. If she's becoming independent, who knows, he may look for another project where he can be THE MAN.