Sadness on Valentine's Eve. (dating, boyfriends, married, women)
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Today brings bad news for me. I found out the woman I cared for more than any other is engaged. We haven't spoken in yrs, it fell apart after I asked her out and she accepted. There were misunderstandings, and with every little passage of time, it became harder to speak to her. Periodically, I will check in and see how her life is going. I saw the engagement announcement. Every woman I ever met, I compared to her. I always told myself until she married, there's some hope. Ever been through this?
I saw most of my ex-boyfriends become engaged and married for years. I'd seen the announcements in the newspaper so eventually I stopped reading them. My mom worked at a department store and she'd tell me how people would come in to buy things from the wedding registry of someone we knew, a girl that I babysat for back in high school. Things like this were hurtful reminders that I wasn't married and my past relationships had all failed.
There is no such thing as Valentine's Eve. This year, it's Fat Tuesday anyway. Go eat a hunk of dead animal and then go to church tomorrow for Ash Wednesday. Maybe you'll meet a new girl there!
Ok, maybe that was cold
I hope this is the beginning of moving on for you.
Last edited by Mightyqueen801; 02-13-2018 at 04:42 PM..
This may be no consolation now and it probably sounds cliche but it is TRUE. If she actually had been the perfect woman, those little issues wouldn't have happened. Issues would have come up as they do for everyone, but they would not have been of the caliber to ultimately drive you apart. She actually isn't the best match for you, even if right now it feels like she must have been.
I'm not being cavalier. Trust me, I feel you. I had a love mysteriously break up with me, then the next thing I heard, he was engaged. My heart broke in a million pieces. But as it turns out, she was a one-night stand and she wound up pregnant, so he married her. I realize this probably isn't the case for very many people and I'm not saying "it's all good if you can blame the ex" but I wanted to point out: you think you lost the one love of your life, and equally, you envision them having the perfect life. But probably neither is true. She will have a relationship with ups and downs just as eventually you will, too.
I am not hoping ill for these total strangers; I wish them happiness. But I wish you happiness too. I know it is so so hard sometimes. Please keep looking to the future. Your perfect match is out there.
Very clearly, she wasn't the one for you. But, that doesn't make the pain any less at the moment, I do understand. If the person is not in your immediate orbit, be happy for that. You can fly on your own, find your own peace and be in a good place to meet the right person for you.
I went through something similar years ago with my high school sweetheart. We went different ways after graduation (I stayed at a local college, he went a few hours away). Eventually, our relationship ended as it wasn't realistic with the distance. I know there are many couples who say that shouldn't matter... well, every relationship is different and for us it did.
We remained friends but man, was it hard on me. I became single, he got involved with a girl that looked (still looks) like an Abercrombie and Fitch model. Like, ridiculously perfect, even in sweatpants. Even worse is she's sweet and ridiculously nice. Ugh. They got engaged, married. I went to the wedding and we remain friends even though they live on the other side of the country now.
What I realized is that even though I had serious feelings for him... he wasn't right for me. The longer time goes on, the more your hindsight becomes perfect 20/20. Just because you had romance doesn't mean a good marriage, or a well-matched marriage. If anything, I'm kind of relieved now he chose her because as I've gotten to know him throughout the years, it's clear she has a personality better suited for him. Doesn't argue, quiet, compliant, etc. It isn't right or wrong necessarily... it's just not how I am nor how I could conduct myself in what I would consider a good marriage, for me personally anyway. I would have felt like I was giving in, being someone I'm not, giving up too much.
Last edited by EastBoundandDownChick; 02-14-2018 at 12:13 AM..
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(I know its very hard)
