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Intent is irrelevant, as an adult you should know better anyway than that.
Says who? Did you just make that up? Intent can make a huge difference as to why something happens. As an adult who has been on the planet a lot longer than you, I can tell you that wisdom includes looking at a situation from many angles, not just the one that justifies the framework in which you operate.
If I order a $50 meal and you order a $50 meal that is one thing. I order a $25 plate and you order a plate of $75-100, I’m gonna check to make sure I plan on chipping in and if you ain’t, date is over. It is the PRINCIPLE of the thing. Trying to get an expensive meal off me, I’m far too intelligent and street wise to get hustled like that.
The problem is that you immediately think you are being hustled.
I know i'm not going to change the way you've chosen to be on a CD forum, lol, but you do have to acknowledge that the rest of us can clearly see how limited and narrow you have decided to construct your world. You have set yourself up for a previously-decided outcome, and it's very transparent to other posters.
Oh dear God. Dis, don't worry, you're not in danger of attracting a woman with taste anyway. Not with the forced street talk and all that.
I'll bet if you dropped all the show and would just be yourself a really great woman would come along. I have seen (well, read) when you are straight, aboveboard, calm and have no chip on your shoulder. You're like a differenct guy atf those times. You're like a guy a woman with class would date.
Exactly. He's not stupid, but he's pretending to be.
Since when is ordering a nice dinner on Valentine's Day a social error?
Naive? Get out of here.
Dissenter, you sound angry AF (and coming from me, that is saying something). Something tells me that you don't have to worry about this scenario.,
OK, if you're going to reword my statement, I will clarify. IN MY OPINION, ordering the most expensive thing on the menu when someone else is paying is a bit of a social error. Not one to be executed for, and not one for which she shouldn't be given another chance to find out who she is, as I clearly stated already pages ago.
Yes, she could be naive if she is not accustomed to being taken out to a nice restaurant on Valentine's Day.
Not all women have spent their lives being pampered and treated, and it may have been a new experience for her. None of us know how old she was in the OP's scenario or what her background was.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801
The problem is that you immediately think you are being hustled.
.
I really don't understand how people (not just him, there are many here) that see relationships as adversarial or potentially adversarial ever make enjoyable, healthy connections, with other people. It is hard enough to do when one doesn't see the person as a potential enemy, I can't imagine doing it if I'm living in fear of being taken.
Last edited by timberline742; 02-28-2018 at 09:31 AM..
OK, IN MY OPINION, ordering the most expensive thing on the menu when someone else is paying is a bit of a social error. Not one to be executed for, and not one for which she shouldn't be given another chance to find out who she is, as I clearly stated already pages ago.
Yes, she could be naive if she is not accustomed to being taken out to a nice restaurant on Valentine's Day.
Not all women have spent their lives being pampered and treated, and it may have been a new experience for her. None of us know how old she was in the OP's scenario or what her background was.
I wouldn’t personally do it, but I can’t fault another woman for wanting or expecting more out of life than I do. If she’s confident that her date would (or should) be happy to treat her to that particular entree, then it really doesn’t matter that there are other women out there who would order something cheaper or offer to contribute to the bill. The OP can certainly choose another woman, but this particular woman doesn’t have to change her behavior. Maybe they just aren’t right for each other.
Let me tell you in this day and age some folks don't have 50.00 to put on a meal . To some people that is a half a weeks worth of groceries . Some peoples priorities are skewed here on this forum .
Apples and oranges. What you say is true, but this is a situation where a man has invited a date to a restaurant and in doing so, sat down with the knowledge that he was going to be spending money.
You could go further and point out to some people in the world, someone having $50 for half a week's groceries would be considered wealthy.
I don’t get all the hoo-ha about it being a first date, I wasn’t in Casanova’s league, but I had my share of dates as a younger man, some of them had to be a first date with any particular woman.
The one criterion for any woman I dated, obviously had to be that I found them attractive, I wanted to be with them or I wouldn’t have asked them out, so I looked forward to being in their company.
To that end, I couldn’t give a tinker’s damn what they ordered, it may not be easy to understand, but that was the way I was wired, and I still am.
She’s out with me because I want to be in her company, presumably she feels the same, otherwise she wouldn’t be there, order what you want blue eyes.
Shakes head, no sorry Dis, “trying to get an expensive meal off me?”, I must have missed the memo, it doesn’t compute with me, if that had been any part of my thought process, I wouldn’t have dated at all.
I really don't understand how people (not just him, there are many here) that see relationships as adversarial or potentially adversarial ever make enjoyable, healthy connections with other people. It is hard enough to do when one doesn't see the person as a potential enemy, I can't imagine doing it if I'm living in fear of being taken.
I really don't understand how people (not just him, there are many here) that see relationships as adversarial or potentially adversarial ever make enjoyable, healthy connections with other people. It is hard enough to do when one doesn't see the person as a potential enemy, I can't imagine doing it if I'm living in fear of being taken.
That's exactly right, and I think that adversarial outlook goes hand-in-hand with another thread on here somewhere about OLD. People who put what they fear/don't want in their profiles are not as successful as people who state what they ARE looking for.
If you are constantly thinking that you have to watch out for potential dates trying to get over on you, that's all you will ever see in anyone.
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