Quote:
Originally Posted by Dport7674
If the person reading feels like it's a chore to understand what you've written, it's a fail.
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I'll try to elucidate.
The way I show interest in a woman will vary depending on the environment in which we meet.
Example: Public place total stranger: if at a distance, I make eye contact and smile a friendly smile, and make an effort to get close and talk to her. If she does not reciprocate or gives off negative look or body language I move along my way.
When in appropriate proximity in public I would make an effort to break the ice by talking to her about something topical to the environment.
//www.city-data.com/forum/fashi...l#post48260760
Last summer, I had been seeing a young woman while waiting on my reverse commute from work and we would always exchange pleasant smiles at the train station. Since she was always wearing earplugs listening to music (I presume) I never bothered to stop and talk to her at the station. A few months later, I happened to see her during lunch time at the grocery store (without ear buds) so I went up and introduced myself to her in the aisle and talked / asked her a bit about work in a light hearted way how nice it was to see her outside of the train station and then asked if she would like to have lunch some time to get to know each other. She didn't but that particular encounter was conducive to approaching her and talking more so than exchanging smiles.
Business environment with some prior phone conversations / email exchange knowledge of each other to some degree (i.e. not total strangers). Converse and make opportunity to ask if she'd like to meet for lunch / coffee. Usually the most successful from my experience.
Physically, there's a certain level of 'energy' I've always encountered when a woman peaks my interest, I think some women sense it based on body language and the way your eyes look at her. Generally, when a person is interested in someone romantically the pupils dilate.
https://www.scienceofpeople.com/what...dden-emotions/
If you're observant you've seen couples / lovers in public where you can tell they energize each other.
In sporting / competitive type environment I will usually try to show prowess at an activity to varying degrees. I did that more in my youth. Last summer I did it as middle age guy when volunteering at an event. I started competing shooting mini basketballs with the local NBA cheer team young adults during lunch time. It wasn't necessarily to impress 'a woman' in particular, but doing so often makes woman notice you and it may enable easier talking with one you encounter i.e. a playful challenge "Hey, how about you try a few shots?" Nice ice breaker to potential dialogue.
In an intramural sport environment (volleyball) years ago, a woman I was interested in was not feeling well and I went out to my car to get throat lozenges / first aid kit i.e. genuine interest in her well being.
The second topic of would women / men have more optimized relations on deciding whether to accept an offer of getting to know each other / date if they could
read each others thoughts is topic I've often thought would help limit or eliminate the bad experiences (which tend to overtime aggravate male female relations) without having to learn them the hard way.
An example for a woman would be she could tell if:
A man looking at her wanted her to pleasure himself in every manner possible for selfish reasons
Or another who may look at her and desire to be dominated and submit to her in some manner
Or another who'd like to pull her close slip his arms around her waist and tenderly kiss her on the lips and steal away someplace for a romantic tryst in some secluded spot
Or another who may look at her like she'd make a delightful house servant laboring away
Or another who may look at her and admire how well she's dressed but prefers other men
Or another who may desire to dominate her and treat her like his property
Or another who may just want to walk along with her and delight in her presence
Or another who may envision her as a loving caring woman who'd make a great mother to children
Part of the dilemma when you are first attracted to someone and show interest, is
how you will be perceived. When there's no context / background it leads to much energy expensed based on social mating ritual constructs. A 'hard swap interface type meet with someone of interest would enable quicker connectivity at multiple levels. Think On Line Dating, but with depth i.e. like having someone's dating / relationship history at hand, their mindset and way of thought and whether they approach any woman with little to no discrimination in search of romantic pleasure versus another who may be selective.
The question being, if either a male of female knew the person showing interest in them at the moment was weighing you highly (being selective in who they show romantic interest) or was some lothario / rogue sl*t etc.. looking for another conquest in the bed. Would there be an adjustment if either sex knew the person showing interest in them was looking for short term pleasure or longer term relationship?
This can be asked directly as already noted, but generally doesn't seem to get proper respect as approach. Hence the Hitch movie clip vignette. There seems to be a cultural conditioning in USA of women wanting / needing some "organic" 'meet cute' story they can share with their friends but a reticence to feeling 'played' when things don't go as planned. But, isn't that the essence of showing interest? Being strategic and concerned with doing the right thing to build upon the interaction without feeling overly scripted?
Anyway, sorry to deviate from the initial topic of the thread but wanted to put better context to what I was trying to convey. Hope this made it more understandable. Even though I sometimes have long posts on C-D - I'm generally a man of few words.