Should I correct him? (date, call, personal, attract)

[CGab]

The point is......unless you are a teacher and correcting a student, it's rude!

[Sassybluesy]

Originally Posted by rego00123

If you do so, do it with the intention to help and not the intention to help yourself.

The Intentions are key to the answer of “should I”

Yeah...I was kind of thinking earlier, that maybe "lead by example" rather than pointing out the errors, would be the way to go.

[Parnassia]

Originally Posted by CosmicTraveler21

Hey guys,

So I've met someone new. I am attracted to him physically and we seem to have a lot of things in common. I am really digging his vibe and I can totally see us hooking up soon.

One thing that has been a turn off for me is mistakes in grammar. I'm kind of a nerd so I pick up on these things fairly quickly.

For example: He says, "what you're doing?" instead of "what ARE you doing?" I have noticed that a lot of people do this and I am sometimes too quick to judge. It's not cool of me to do that. It irks me every time he does it though so I feel like I should just say something.

Would it be very rude of me to correct him? Can it be done nicely?

Thanks in advance.

Admitted member of the grammar police speaking here: Maybe a better way to answer the question is to think about the context in which the "error" is being made. If the error will end up confusing or misleading someone else, something factual or important is incorrect, an unintended outcome might result from using it, or it would embarrass the speaker in the future, I may correct the person in private and in a polite way.

In the example you've given, sounds as if this is just a habitual manner of speech, even though it isn't strictly correct usage. I probably wouldn't correct it. If it really annoyed me over time I'd have to decide if it was really worth giving up an entire person over.

Stodgy enough for you?

[303Guy]

Whatever you do, do not - repeat - do not correct him until AFTER sex happens. 'Cause then you will be able to get away with anything.

To be quite honest, if someone I was hot for corrected me, I would not give a hoot.

[OttoR]

I feel your pain. Poor grammar is an instant turn-off for me. Once I hear “I’m going to lay down for a nap”, “I am nauseous”, or something equally appalling, I am stuck. I hear nothing else they say and all my focus goes to keeping my mouth shut, smiling, and nodding. That said, it isn’t a deal breaker unless it’s really bad. You have to decide if you can live with it or not. NO! YOU CANNOT CORRECT HIM (unless he is really good natured). Personally, I would love for people to correct me and encourage people to do so. I do not have perfect grammar but it is certainly a goal and I welcome the opportunity to improve. I am an anomaly in that regard.

[OttoR]

Originally Posted by Madeinchelsea

I couldn't be with someone who sounds dumb and illiterate. Is he lacking in any other areas or have you two not dated long in enough to tell

^^^This!

[Frihed89]

OP, it's not your responsibility to correct the grammar of others. It's their resposibility to learn the language. If a person's language skills turns you off, so be it.

[Runninglikethieves]

My first long term girlfriend used to constantly spell ''he's'' as in ''He is'', ''His''. Like if I'd text/instant message her ''Is your dad home?'', she'd say ''His working'' or ''His not home''. After about a year of noticing this, I asked her about it and she gave me a pouty face for making fun of her. I thought it was cute and for the next 4+ years we were together, I adopted it and we would always type ''His'' instead of ''He's'' and even started to say ''His'' when speaking, instead of ''He's''. Like during a scary zombie movie, we'd say something out loud to each other like ''His mean and his real scary looking!''.

And 15 years later, it's actually something that I still do today, sometimes.

[MrRational]

Originally Posted by CosmicTraveler21

One thing that has been a turn off for me is mistakes in grammar.
For example: He says, "what you're doing?" instead of "what ARE you doing?"

I'm kind of a nerd so I pick up on these things fairly quickly.

What you are is aspirational and recognize that poor grammar will hold him back.
It will hold anyone back and YES it should be corrected.

The questions as always are in HOW to go about it.

Can it be done nicely?

Of course it can... and that will always be in private.
If he's really worth holding on to he'll end up thanking you.

[wowowee]

Pfft. I got addicted to texting. English is my 2nd language too. But I am confident I rule in spelling and grammar. Then texting happened. It took me years to go back to typing like this. instd of lyk dis. lyk 4 srs.

Anyway, most Americans don't know how to spell anyway. LOL. I remember in high school, I had an American pen pal and I used to be confused that she ALWAYS spell wait as weight, I was like....

My american husband is guilty of it too. I don't mind. He is smart in navigating life in general, for the most part. For me that matters more than anything.