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The fact that you used "like" and "love" is very telling.
It was really true love, it would stay true love even if you were separated for several years across thousands of miles.
But do you think I should still get attached to him considering that I am still young and can wait, while he, on the other hand, is in his prime years, and ready to become a father? I guess for him, time is running out and he even told me who is ready to have a baby. I want to have a baby, but I don't think I am ready
Stick with your career and stick to someone closer to your age.
Age gaps in relationships has been discussed dozens and dozens of times on this forum (do a search).
I will take note of that, but have you been in a similar situation? I've read some threads about age gap here, but some of them only commented based on their personal judgment not with real experience.
^^ This. Honestly, Chit, you wont be compensating for him. Chances are, with the maturity level displayed here, he IS compensating for you. It can work out easily, but you have to want it to. Doesn't sound like you know what you want yet.
C'est la vie! Go abroad, live a little, learn and grow. Set him free because life is to short to wait for someone who doesn't know what they want.
Were I to live my life over, and who knows, that might happen, I would pick someone my own age to be with. Otherwise the difference in age, differences in physical and mental capacities, can become quite difficult, and ultimately devastating to deal with. I have been happy, but would do things differently.
I'm not sure the problem is as much the age difference as the OP being not very into the guy. I could just not be picking up on it but I get this feeling that it would be very easy for her to move on. OP, of that's true, I would not sacrifice my career for him if I were you. You won't be young forever and in 10, 15 or 20 years you may truly regret not having established your career while you were young, energetic and unencumbered.
Choosing a career over love is a great way to end up as a 50 year old living with multiple cats.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
I'm not sure the problem is as much the age difference as the OP being not very into the guy. I could just not be picking up on it but I get this feeling that it would be very easy for her to move on. OP, of that's true, I would not sacrifice my career for him if I were you. You won't be young forever and in 10, 15 or 20 years you may truly regret not having established your career while you were young, energetic and unencumbered.
Some of this would depend upon her what her relationship goals are. One's career expiration date is often later than one's ovary expiration date, or her ability to maximize her value to land a higher quality man.
I agree that it would be easy for her to move on. A childless 29 year old is pretty valuable on the dating market. She could have new dates lined up in 2 weeks or less if she chose to go that direction.
What might need to happen is that she might need to end this relationship now, AND pass on that job option. Think about this, she comes back to the United States at 31, after 2 years away with no relationship. If she returns to the same city in 2 years, her social circle might have dried up during those years, and she is moved to a new city when getting back to the States, she might have no social circle in a new city. Starting over at 31 is harder than at 29. Also, in the relationship she might start at 31, she might try to put more pressure on the guy to commit sooner and start having kids sooner into a relationship than she would have had she began the relationship at 25.
And what job in what country would that be? Unless you hold a foreign passport, or already work for a company that has overseas offices to which they often post people from whatever country you reside in now, this can be very hard due to immigration rules.
When the story is about leaving or staying the advice generally is never stay just because you're afraid you won't meet someone else. And at your young age?
Add in the word "like" ??? Love songs say things like "I don't want to live without you" and "I'd climb the highest mountain, swim the deepest sea".
There may be more difficult arrangements, accommodations and solutions that need to be found but they are
17 years is a pretty big gap. How does that work when he’s retired, you’re in your late 40s, and you have children in college?
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