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Be careful, OP. It may be the current boyfriend who responds to your I appropriate approaches, not this girl, and that could be at the girlfriend's request. You my not be physically hurt, in fact I doubt it, but you could wind up seriously embarrassed and humiliated.
Bother her enough and she will get others involved in her defense. Because she definitely will start to feel creeped out at some point. No means no. No doesn't mean, hey, I'll bet she secretly wants me to push harder. In fact this mindset is seriously uncool.
Save your dignity, for gosh sakes. Get it together and move on.
Serious questions, OP: What's your goal here? What makes this girl so special that she's worth getting this bent out of shape about?
Answer these questions in a logical, non-emotional manner, even if just to yourself. If you come up with a truly good answer (I doubt that you will), proceed. If you don't, stop wasting your time.
It's totally unfair to disrespect her wishes that you leave her alone, just so you can keep trying to get what YOU want.
Leave the poor girl alone.
I agree with this! Birdie, I am kind of surprised at you. Any further contact by him is unwanted attention, manipulative and disrespectful. OP needs to stop trying to control her and accept that he has no further role in her life, unless SHE makes contact.
Birdie, I am kind of surprised at you. Any further contact by him is unwanted attention, manipulative and disrespectful.
Normally in situations like this, I believe this ^^^ to be true, but in this case I don't, for a couple of reasons.
For one, she sent him VERY mixed signals the entire time they were ... whatever they were. Her words did not match her actions, and that part is not his fault.
I've spent a lot of time on this thread, advising the OP of the MANY ways he royally screwed up this relationship and pointing out how this woman is doing the healthy thing by blocking him.
But I don't believe further contact from him, down the road, would be manipulative.
He has struggled with his feelings for her, apparently in a way that is new to him, and appears to have shown some emotional growth. This ending is going to bother him for years until he "gets it." And for some people, the only way to "get it" is the hard way.
That may happen, if he reaches out and she goes off in a "once and for all" way that would let him know it really really is over. Or there may be another outcome.
Well damn, I can see the general consensus by far is that I count my losses and move on. And if I could've....believed I would've.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011
So after hurting her and she's had enough of you, you want to try to buy your way back?
How about leaving her alone until you hear from her?
I wish I had the willpower and disciple to back-off forever. But I don't. But I AM NOT trying to buy her back. I'm just trying to express how I feel in another way. I mean I don't expect to get the benefit of the doubt in this, but it should be obvious i'm being sincere at this point.
And the part that hurts most is...IDK if I would ever hear from her again tbh....
Quote:
Originally Posted by StarPaladin
OP: I think you mentioned that you came very very close to but never actually told her that you love her right? IMO, sometimes, those 3 magic words can really make all the difference...just mho, but they are actually the 3 most powerful words in the entire English language
I wished I had asked to see her one last time during her "closure call". I've always done better with her in person in lieu of text and that's not something I wanna say in a message.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
I would wait till then, and then send her something meaningful, something that she mentioned before, or related to an interest she talked about previously, that shows you were paying attention.
That's what I was thinking of. She's a big harry potter fan so I thought about getting her the blue ray collection or something. It sets up perfectly because I'll just send her a gift and nothing else. No message because I've said enough. If she reaches out great but if she has nothing to say, i'll know then and there she's moved on and i'll stop.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
Be careful, OP. It may be the current boyfriend who responds to your I appropriate approaches, not this girl, and that could be at the girlfriend's request. You my not be physically hurt, in fact I doubt it, but you could wind up seriously embarrassed and humiliated.
Bother her enough and she will get others involved in her defense. Because she definitely will start to feel creeped out at some point. No means no. No doesn't mean, hey, I'll bet she secretly wants me to push harder. In fact this mindset is seriously uncool.
Save your dignity, for gosh sakes. Get it together and move on.
lol they've already broken up. And my dignity has already been lost tbh. And as it stands, as terrible as it may sound...I don't buy that she really wants me out of her life. If she didn't she never would've unblocked my number or ig. She never would've called when I messaged, or messaged me after the flowers. She's mentioned in the past when she's done with someone...she drops them. Period. I know that doesn't mean she hasn't done the same, but I can't help it...
It sets up perfectly because I'll just send her a gift and nothing else. No message because I've said enough.
No, if you reach out like this, you need to say more. There is plenty you haven't said, and she needs to know that you think and feel differently about things, if that is actually the case.
At the very least, you need to apologize for the ways you disrespected her.
No, if you reach out like this, you need to say more. There is plenty you haven't said, and she needs to know that you think and feel differently about things, if that is actually the case.
At the very least, you need to apologize for the ways you disrespected her.
I have apologized. For taking her for granted, betraying her trust. That it wouldn't happen again. I've said how much I missed her, how much I care and value her.
I've tried to relay to her how different I feel now. Both personally and regarding her. How I've pretty much never this strongly about someone before.
Perhaps in a month and a half(what a ****ing coincidence) I'll have better constructed my feelings.
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