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Relationships should be about providing some asset or resource.. what good does it do to love someone who treats you like dirt? If more men held women accountable for being good girlfriends and providers and didn't shower them with praise just because of that hole they have, women wouldn't get so entitled (some of them) because of all the attention they get.
I don't see the issue with having expectations in your partner that are realistic. For example, of one person values fitness and the other person who was previously 150 pounds is now 225 pounds, I would find that selfish and have a hard time retaining my attraction. If one person is working full time and the other person stays at home, the stay at home person should be doing the housework and cooking. If they are watching soap operas and leaving the place a mess, unacceptable. It's simple animal biology that people have preferences and expectations and people shouldn't be faulted for it.
Relationships should be about providing some asset or resource.. what good does it do to love someone who treats you like dirt? If more men held women accountable for being good girlfriends and providers and didn't shower them with praise just because of that hole they have, women wouldn't get so entitled (some of them) because of all the attention they get.
I don't see the issue with having expectations in your partner that are realistic. For example, of one person values fitness and the other person who was previously 150 pounds is now 225 pounds, I would find that selfish and have a hard time retaining my attraction. If one person is working full time and the other person stays at home, the stay at home person should be doing the housework and cooking. If they are watching soap operas and leaving the place a mess, unacceptable. It's simple animal biology that people have preferences and expectations and people shouldn't be faulted for it.
As a woman I agree. Value your partner in ways you want to be valued too - hard working, contributing, emotionally supportive, whatever - and you have less of a chance of feeling "used" later. Choose based on more than having gotten a trophy, whether you are a woman or a man. People claiming they get used all the time need to check out the common denominator and work on that first.
Barring this (always feeling used), yes, we all require certain things of a partner...if we're smart. And even if we aren't smart we are with someone because we "get something." The guy stuck with the former hottie who now sits around expanding on Slurpees and reality TV didn't take her on 8 years ago out of the goodness of his heart. He was getting whatever...say, sex and making his friends jealous. He may proclaim with all the righteous, wounded indignation in the world that it is so unfair that obviously, she "used" him to support her - but he will be deliberately overlooking the fact that he used her every bit as much and was getting something he considered of at least equal value out of the deal. He is now just mad that looks fade (no...really?) and therefore is feeling his side of the original deal is sliding.
So choose wisely. It really is not so hard to, especially as regards this whole provider thing, considering the fact that women make up half the workforce, at least in the U.S. it isn't like it is impossible to find a woman with a work ethic. We DO work, LOL.
There are plenty of women who cling to men who are broke, neglectful, and cruel.
Yeah, but these are young and inexperienced women for the most part.
Most somewhat experienced women want financial security first and romantic assurance afterwards.
Sure, a short fling or one-night-stand is acceptable on a temporary basis, but most women will quickly abandon the under-employed or low wage earning male, for a professional guy with lots of cash on hand.
Yeah, but these are young and inexperienced women for the most part.
Most somewhat experienced women want financial security first and romantic assurance afterwards.
Sure, a short fling or one-night-stand is acceptable on a temporary basis, but most women will quickly abandon the under-employed or low wage earning male, for a professional guy with lots of cash on hand.
Nope. There are lots of older women involved with losers too.
I agree there's truth into that. I've gone into detail in the past about how it affects dating but yeah, It has a sting when you realize you're judged on what you do for a living and not you as a person. I don't know how the dead beat losers get away with it, but perhaps having darker skin I know I can't get away with it (not that I would, I worked since 16).
Maybe if someone drilled it into my head when I was younger I'd never would of gone through my bitter "red pill" phase and just focused on improving myself.
I agree there's truth into that. I've gone into detail in the past about how it affects dating but yeah, It has a sting when you realize you're judged on what you do for a living and not you as a person. I don't know how the dead beat losers get away with it, but perhaps having darker skin I know I can't get away with it (not that I would, I worked since 16).
Maybe if someone drilled it into my head when I was younger I'd never would of gone through my bitter "red pill" phase and just focused on improving myself.
Love is a powerful feeling. For women, it can overshadow the parts that she doesn't like about him, as long as they continue to operate as a team. If he starts to fail in too many areas of his life, her love for him will decline and the veil will be lifted. I know from experience that when a woman loves you, she'll put up with the most obnoxious things. Get a woman to love you and you'll see for yourself.
Spoilers: the people who involve themselves with “losers” are “losers” themselves.
This doesn’t mean they do not have potential to be otherwise or turn their lives in another direction. What it does mean is they are choosing to be with people who compliment aspects of their current selves.
One feeds the other.
The age requirement for this is limitless. It only takes a skewed or low vision of self worth or accomplishment.
Spoilers: the people who involve themselves with “losers” are “losers” themselves.
This doesn’t mean they do not have potential to be otherwise or turn their lives in another direction. What it does mean is they are choosing to be with people who compliment aspects of their current selves.
One feeds the other.
The age requirement for this is limitless. It only takes a skewed or low vision of self worth or accomplishment.
Following this logic, are people who wind up "with gold diggers" complicit in that too? (i.e. it's as much their fault?)
I know my answer, that's not rhetorical, I'm wondering what your answer is in light of what you said above. FTR, I do think if something repeats, one has to look within, for sure.
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FTR, I do think if something repeats, one has to look within, for sure.