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Meaning say you come across a dating profile that draws you in, they seem to have many things in common with you, same likes, interests, political views, taste in music/movies, similar hobbies etc etc..
There photos seem up to date and you find them attractive etc etc
Every thing seems perfect until you run across one thing that ruins it in your eyes,
something mentioned in their about me: (usually mentioned somewhere towards the end).
Or something in their stats that is a deal breaker for you.
Or something in the settings of some or most of their photos gives you pause.
A few examples for me are:
1. if I see in there stats they are looking for "just friends" or "casual dating/just dating nothing serious/no commitment( different sites/apps word it differently)"
2. if I see in their stats they have a job/career that traditionally does not allow much time for a relationship, typically jobs that keep them away a lot where they either have to do a lot of traveling or just plain long hours. I prefer women who clock out after 8 hours so we can hang out more.
3. If I see in their stats they have young children at home.
4. If every other photo in their profile is them in a bar getting toasted(not the girl you take home to mom).
5. If every other photo is of here in front of a different exotic landmark(and the timestamps span only a few years most recent being a few months ago), I'm thinking this girl will have me broke or sitting home alone most of the time. (I've traveled a lot also but my timestamps would average 5 - 10 years apart as an adult. and since I was a military brat growing up most would be childhood photos lol).
Meaning say you come across a dating profile that draws you in, they seem to have many things in common with you, same likes, interests, political views, taste in music/movies, similar hobbies etc etc..
There photos seem up to date and you find them attractive etc etc
Every thing seems perfect until you run across one thing that ruins it in your eyes,
something mentioned in their about me: (usually mentioned somewhere towards the end).
Or something in their stats that is a deal breaker for you.
Or something in the settings of some or most of their photos gives you pause.
A few examples for me are:
1. if I see in there stats they are looking for "just friends" or "casual dating/just dating nothing serious/no commitment( different sites/apps word it differently)"
2. if I see in their stats they have a job/career that traditionally does not allow much time for a relationship, typically jobs that keep them away a lot where they either have to do a lot of traveling or just plain long hours. I prefer women who clock out after 8 hours so we can hang out more.
3. If I see in their stats they have young children at home.
4. If every other photo in their profile is them in a bar getting toasted(not the girl you take home to mom).
5. If every other photo is of here in front of a different exotic landmark(and the timestamps span only a few years most recent being a few months ago), I'm thinking this girl will have me broke or sitting home alone most of the time. (I've traveled a lot also but my timestamps would average 5 - 10 years apart as an adult. and since I was a military brat growing up most would be childhood photos lol).
My list would be somewhat similar.
I tended to avoid both the extremely casual daters as well as those who say they're looking to marry. Give me someone who wants to grow a relationship over time. We might marry, we might not, but my end goal was a serious commitment. I felt like those who said they were looking for a wife would be moving too fast and/or saying only what they think a woman wants to hear.
Long stretches out of town? I approached those very cautiously, seeing a high potential for someone living a double life - i.e. the wife or LTR in another city, but having work that took him to my area frequently. No interest whatsoever in being a side chick.
Kids never bothered me, but at my age, they were generally in HS or older and pretty independent.
The big travelers were probably incompatible with my lifestyle with pets at home. I don't mind paying for a housesitter for weekend excursions, but my globetrotting days are probably over.
I was generally turned off by shirtless or other photos where they're preening over what good shape they're in. A bit vain for my tastes. I'm perfectly happy with an average body or a little dad bod action. Morbid obesity is a problem though - too aware of all the health risks involved.
Any sense of pretension or extreme materialism. I live a fairly simple life in a semi-rural area. If I think some dude is going to either turn his nose up at my humble-ish home OR think he needs to rescue me, that's a no thank you.
Animal lovers were a plus, although that can be a complication if our pets aren't compatible. But I'd think less of someone saying he'd dump a pet to make the relationship with me work. (Something SO and I have to work on should we decide to live together, but where there's a will, there's a way, without abandoning a loyal and loved pet.)
Back when I was on OKC, I avoided anyone who indicated they wanted sex on or before date 3. Nope, I need more time than that. (Has that backfired on me? Sure.... One time we waited about a month and the sex was pretty horrible. But that's a risk I am willing to take.)
Eh, could think of more, like smokers and whatnot, but that's some of my major ones.
I tended to avoid both the extremely casual daters as well as those who say they're looking to marry. Give me someone who wants to grow a relationship over time. We might marry, we might not, but my end goal was a serious commitment. I felt like those who said they were looking for a wife would be moving too fast and/or saying only what they think a woman wants to hear.
I'm okay with a woman who's end goal is to find a husband as long as she knows it won't be next week, but I will take someone who moves fast over someone that moves too slow and day.
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Long stretches out of town? I approached those very cautiously, seeing a high potential for someone living a double life - i.e. the wife or LTR in another city, but having work that took him to my area frequently. No interest whatsoever in being a side chick.
That has happened to me so you are justified in feeling that way.
in fact if a guy wants to just get laid the best place to go is a hotel bar(I used to bartend at one)
because you have a lot of business travelers who don't know anyone in town and know that nothing they do will get back to anyone they know, so the bar to entry is much lower.
Quote:
I was generally turned off by shirtless or other photos where they're preening over what good shape they're in. A bit vain for my tastes. I'm perfectly happy with an average body or a little dad bod action. Morbid obesity is a problem though - too aware of all the health risks involved.
I don't mind a woman showing off that she is in shape, for me it's a redflag if every photo is a face closeup.
Quote:
Back when I was on OKC, I avoided anyone who indicated they wanted sex on or before date 3. Nope, I need more time than that. (Has that backfired on me? Sure.... One time we waited about a month and the sex was pretty horrible. But that's a risk I am willing to take.)
Eh, could think of more, like smokers and whatnot, but that's some of my major ones.
For me there is no hard and fast rule on when sex should happen, but that being said my longest relationships sex happened almost immediately where as the relationships where it's 3 or more dates before it happened did not last too long after. I have a few theories about that....
I don't mind if she has children, but when she says: "my children are my world" I usually skip. I mean, if you have children, I assume you will put their needs before mine.
An unusual remark that will usually cause me to skip past someone, is them saying that anyone who writes them must have a car. I get why they say so; they think anyone who doesn't drive is a deadbeat loser. (DUI, poor, etc.) Even though I have a legitimate reason for not driving, I've never been able to convince them otherwise.
This
- I am passionate about ...
- I am passionate about exercise
- I am passionate about travel
- I am passionate about "living" / outdoors.
- I am passionate about sports.
- I am passionate about music.
IMHO, anyone over 25 who is still passionate about music needs to grow up. Sports is something I dislike so if you like it I will have a child on my couch every Sunday watching something I don't care about. Not a camper so I don't want to be outdoors. In general who is passionate these days? If you are you are lying or have little to do.
I don't want to adopt a child.. who happens to be an adult.
Finally what is with the photos? Some are so bad. If you were trying to look like a mug shot you couldn't do any better. Do NOT take photos with sunglasses.
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