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Yeah , know exactly what your saying with the resistance thing, l'm sorry it didn't work out for you.
Thanks for that old cold and yeah l have read all the info and tbh l fully agree with people talking about all the stuff people throw all over the internet now and l hated using anything myself.
Just had no other way of describing it as that's as close as l've been able to come.
Tbh , imo she's a 50 50 mix of just plain bad temper and with about 12 of the main 18 bpd traits thrown in.
Some are to a fairly extreme and others are milder versions but still the same thing.
She's no where near as bad as some l've read about but she does have her moments on bad days if something rocks the boat.
Yeah , know exactly what your saying with the resistance thing, l'm sorry it didn't work out for you.
Thanks for that old cold and yeah l have read all the info and tbh l fully agree with people talking about all the stuff people throw all over the internet now and l hated using anything myself.
Just had no other way of describing it as that's as close as l've been able to come.
Tbh , imo she's a 50 50 mix of just plain bad temper and with about 12 of the main 18 bpd traits thrown in.
Some are to a fairly extreme and others are milder versions but still the same thing.
She's no where near as bad as some l've read about but she does have her moments on bad days if something rocks the boat.
The probably most important of all the listed traits, is the inability to have the emotions and feelings for any kind of normal relationships. If that part is so, milder doesn't enter into any of it.
Love can be misguided, which is something that a psychologist can help you to sort through. I'm talking about a psychologist for you as an individual, not couple's therapy. I'm not suggesting that you're crazy or dysfunctional, but that you really should avail yourself of professional guidance if you're going to make such a serious decision.
I strongly suggest you don't go the DIY route with this. Googling some articles isn't even in the same ballpark as meeting with a psychologist.
My husband has anger issues and mood wings. I learned to deal with it. Now we are in safe sailing mode. It depends how constant the blow ups are though.
My husband without fail do it while we're on vacation and road trips. I always tell him to behave this time but, nope never happens.
I just ignore him, zone him out, silent treatment. Sometimes he apologize. That's when I scream at his face, LOL.
You deal with it or you don't. Sometimes I dread going on vacation with him anymore. Coz he will surely ruin it. Oh well.
It's not bpd as far as I know, I'm not a doctor. I call my husband's issue a jekyl and hyde personality. But yes, I'm happy with him for the most part. He gives me what I want, most of the time. He made my life happy. In spite of.
l have spoken to someone actually but not about misguided love , l don't need anyone to tell me how l feel.
Funnily enough they say more bdp partners end up on the couch than the bdp'er, there l go with that label again.
Really , l hate using that but it's the simplest way unfortunately.
No she has plenty of capable love and emotion , she's very loving and giving mostly actually.
All l'm really wondering is basically has anyone managed to deal with this type of thing and been happy for the most part.
And we have , plenty , incredibly so, but the other side is sadly often lurking around just under the surface too.
Although she has made some progress , not directly admitting or apologizing but some acknowledging in her own round about way some of the crap and made some efforts and that's a first but,,,, gives me some hope haha.
My husband has anger issues and mood wings. I learned to deal with it. Now we are in safe sailing mode. It depends how constant the blow ups are though.
My husband without fail do it while we're on vacation and road trips. I always tell him to behave this time but, nope never happens.
I just ignore him, zone him out, silent treatment. Sometimes he apologize. That's when I scream at his face, LOL.
You deal with it or you don't. Sometimes I dread going on vacation with him anymore. Coz he will surely ruin it. Oh well.
It's not bpd as far as I know, I'm not a doctor. I call my husband's issue a jekyl and hyde personality. But yes, I'm happy with him for the most part. He gives me what I want, most of the time. He made my life happy. In spite of.
Eh wowee,
Good for you , damn it's nice to know some people still hang in there these days.
No l don't think it's a bdp thing either and this might be karma for me lately now because l was a bit like your h back when. Mainly in our last 5yrs of marriage , ex w this was.
l think he'd be very capable of stopping the **** going on myself at the time.
As crazy as it probably sounds l'm not even sure why l got like that it might've been the general stress we were in at the time , just sick of everything, unaware, fair while ago now so it's all pretty hazy these days thank God actually.
But l'm pretty sure he could stop that crap , l could've but strangely l wasn't even that aware l'd became a pain in the ass.
But if you could get that across to him , l think you'd be in with a good shot at stopping that crap.
People throw around armchair diagnoses like this constantly, so it is literally impossible to say.
It's like people calling themselves OCD for a host of reasons that may or may not be loosely connected with an actual clinical description of actual, clinical OCD.
Half the people in here are going to claim that an ex was "probably BPD, but never diagnosed because X." This, plus NPD, seem like the latest "I want to hurl an insult but I want to sound like a grownup about it" armchair diagnoses.
Because if this, you're unlikely to get any legitimately useful information from this thread. Maybe if it were in the Psychology forum?
You can usually pick those people out because they say, "I am OCD" rather than "I have OCD". And they think it is about washing your hands or cleaning your house.
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And they think it is about washing your hands or cleaning your house.
