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If his friend group already contains a lot of girls then he is obviously comfortable around them and that is half the battle right there. If he ever expresses frustration at being unable to get any romantic interest out of these girls you can always advise him to ask the boys in his peer group who are more successful how they do it. They may not even know themselves though...they might just be "naturals". Maybe he's just better off observing them and emulating some of their behavior. Chances are he will never ask your advice at his age though, so just let him do his thing.
If his friend group already contains a lot of girls then he is obviously comfortable around them and that is half the battle right there. If he ever expresses frustration at being unable to get any romantic interest out of these girls you can always advise him to ask the boys in his peer group who are more successful how they do it. They may not even know themselves though...they might just be "naturals". Maybe he's just better off observing them and emulating some of their behavior. Chances are he will never ask your advice at his age though, so just let him do his thing.
That's exactly right. I am very confident that no one will disagree with the idea of a guy emulating men who are successful with women.
That's exactly right. I am very confident that no one will disagree with the idea of a guy emulating men who are successful with women.
It depends on successful in what way?
Do you want him to learn how to foster a good relationship or just how to best get into a girls britches?
That's most likely what other "successful" guys will tell him.
My mom modeled being a successful employee by dressing professionally, never calling out sick and showing up on time every day. I saw all this from childhood and learned it.
We model successful relationships for our kids. My husband and I are kind to each other, we do favors, buy silly little gifts, are courteous and go on dates together.
When we see couples that we think are making mistakes, we discuss it at the dinner table. "She says awful things to her friends about her husband. That's wrong, you should never do that." Even watching movies, we will pause it and discuss what we think people are doing right or wrong on dates and in relationships.
It depends on successful in what way?
Do you want him to learn how to foster a good relationship or just how to best get into a girls britches?
That's most likely what other "successful" guys will tell him.
Well there's nothing wrong with either of those objectives. It would be up to him how he would use any knowledge gained from observing others who are successful.
My mom modeled being a successful employee by dressing professionally, never calling out sick and showing up on time every day. I saw all this from childhood and learned it.
We model successful relationships for our kids. My husband and I are kind to each other, we do favors, buy silly little gifts, are courteous and go on dates together.
When we see couples that we think are making mistakes, we discuss it at the dinner table. "She says awful things to her friends about her husband. That's wrong, you should never do that." Even watching movies, we will pause it and discuss what we think people are doing right or wrong on dates and in relationships.
That's great advice. I think in the scenario the OP is presenting it's a little too late for all of that though. Either the OP was a good role model or he wasn't. If he was then his advice may be unnecessary at this point, and the son already has a good foundation to build on.
It all boils down to "don't get involved unless he asks you to" at this point.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arthurian
Well there's nothing wrong with either of those objectives. It would be up to him how he would use any knowledge gained from observing others who are successful.
Yes, there is something wrong with one of those objectives. Something very wrong.
When we see couples that we think are making mistakes, we discuss it at the dinner table. "She says awful things to her friends about her husband. That's wrong, you should never do that." Even watching movies, we will pause it and discuss what we think people are doing right or wrong on dates and in relationships.
I have a friend who used to do that kind of thing. One day her kids all groaned, and one said, "Mom! No more life lessons."
Yes, there is something wrong with one of those objectives. Something very wrong.
Well you've got to get in the britches first before you can have the good relationship.
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