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Well Jan, you'll be happy then, I managed to bring it up last night, and talk about "plot twist".
I lead her into the topic very softly. Just said, "Hey got a strange e-mail the other day from someone who claims to know you." Explained the general tone of the e-mail and exposed some details. So it ends up apparently she does know the guy, and she confirmed that they did know each other in college.
Here's the plot twist, she claims they NEVER DATED, or were intimate. They were simply "really good friends".
She's really confused by the whole "madly in love" claims, and the Christmas card. She said the reason she stopped talking to him wasn't because he was addicted to anime or video games, etc. She claims he got kicked out of school, and he simply disappeared.
Basically, I'm ready to talk to law enforcement in my area and possibly file a restraining order.
Seriously, this is all a little ****ed up. Don't know what to think right now.
So...did she actually read the letters?
It doesn't sound like it from your story, but wouldn't that be a character's first response? To ask to see the actual documents? And if she did read them, the author should make that more clear.
Why were you SO WORRIED about talking to her about this?
I dunno if I hear 'worry' so much. If the OP is like me, he prefers to live in the present, and the sudden intrusion of a wacked out situation from the past is not a welcome one.
I personally don't have an identical example in my own life but I know I avoid getting bogged down in drama from the deep past whenever i can.
what bothers me about this is, he is asking your permission....if you gave him your permission, he has an email to prove that you did and he is not stalking...so, I'm wondering if he's just a good con-artist and has done this before and knows all the ropes....
I dunno if I hear 'worry' so much. If the OP is like me, he prefers to live in the present, and the sudden intrusion of a wacked out situation from the past is not a welcome one.
I personally don't have an identical example in my own life but I know I avoid getting bogged down in drama from the deep past whenever i can.
Yeah, I'm not "scared" or "worried", just want to not introduce garbage into my life right now. Everything is rolling good. Why introduce any potential bumps?
Yeah, I'm not "scared" or "worried", just want to not introduce garbage into my life right now. Everything is rolling good. Why introduce any potential bumps?
Huh??? That is NOT a typical response from someone who has a rock solid marriage. "Everything is rolling good..." sounds like you're basically waiting for the other shoe to drop, like you know about something from before that makes you very nervous about rocking the boat, so to speak. That is not a free and secure way to live.
What I keep picking up overall in this very bizarre tale is a deep insecurity from you about SOMEthing. Most married couples I know would have no problem talking about this with the spouse and in fact would have brought it to their attention immediately. Because you are a team and you want to be sure that everyone on the team is fully aware of potential threats to the team.
Did your wife ask to see the emails? Did you offer? What did she do immediately after your talk?
I dunno if I hear 'worry' so much. If the OP is like me, he prefers to live in the present, and the sudden intrusion of a wacked out situation from the past is not a welcome one.
I personally don't have an identical example in my own life but I know I avoid getting bogged down in drama from the deep past whenever i can.
It's just weird that he's not being transparent about these emails when she's the direct subject of these fantasies. She has a right to know that there is delusional guy obsessing about her - for her own safety.
I reiterate - she is the subject of these emails. She is the subject of these fantasies. She is entitled to know.
It's just weird that he's not being transparent about these emails when she's the direct subject of these fantasies. She has a right to know that there is delusional guy obsessing about her - for her own safety.
I reiterate - she is the subject of these emails. She is the subject of these fantasies. She has a right to know.
Absolutely. It's VERY weird.
What comes across, whether this is the case or not, is that he appears MOST worried about his own interests. Whether he is threatened by finding out stuff he doesn't want to know about his wife's sexual history or he is worried that she might leave him for this dude or some other ... his first reaction being to keep it from her is super suspect.
another thought,
If in fact the OP doesn't tell his wife, and she finds out, and believe me, I bet this guy, will most certainly tell her, she is really going to be upset...she deserves to know, she's a grown up....
Huh??? That is NOT a typical response from someone who has a rock solid marriage. "Everything is rolling good..." sounds like you're basically waiting for the other shoe to drop, like you know about something from before that makes you very nervous about rocking the boat, so to speak. That is not a free and secure way to live.
What I keep picking up overall in this very bizarre tale is a deep insecurity from you about SOMEthing. Most married couples I know would have no problem talking about this with the spouse and in fact would have brought it to their attention immediately. Because you are a team and you want to be sure that everyone on the team is fully aware of potential threats to the team.
Did your wife ask to see the emails? Did you offer? What did she do immediately after your talk?
another thought,
If in fact the OP doesn't tell his wife, and she finds out, and believe me, I bet this guy, will most certainly tell her, she is really going to be upset...she deserves to know, she's a grown up....
I already told her. She has a completely different recollection of how the relationship went which I posted.
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