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I dont know what to do. We have 2 kids together and I dont want to break up their home. I have not talked to him about it yet. Im going to talk to him when he gets home from work.
That's on him, not you. If he's seeing prostitutes, he has already broken up your home. Take care of yourself and your kids. (He is already taking care of himself.)
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I can't encourage you strongly enough to leave the marriage, but get your ducks in a row first.
I second oldgardener's comment about how you didn't break up the home, he did, when he started boinking others.
Prostitute or not, if you have a commitment to a monogamous relationship, it's a commitment he had no business breaking.
Last night I was browsing the internet on my husbands iPad, and I discovered that he has been visiting prostitutes for the past 2 months at least. I feel so numb and lost, because I have given this man 15 years of my life.
Sorry to hear you're going through this.Well let this be the last 15 years you ever give this person and start divorce proceedings BECAUSE the fact that YOU found out this piece of info and it was NOT from your husband...well that tells you right there that he would have never told you this was going on in the first place.Now when you confront him..then he will probably come clean and plead and all that BS with you but you should know what you need to do and not look back even though your heart will be breaking.It will heal in time.You deserve better.
I dont know what to do. We have 2 kids together and I dont want to break up their home. I have not talked to him about it yet. Im going to talk to him when he gets home from work.
Their home is already broken.
It's just a matter of whether you choose to stay in it or not (and it might not end up being your choice, anyway, he might end things).
Last night I was browsing the internet on my husbands iPad, and I discovered that he has been visiting prostitutes for the past 2 months at least. I feel so numb and lost, because I have given this man 15 years of my life.
In other words you were snooping around and did not like what you found. Anyway, prostitution is against the law in this wonderful country of ours so are you sure that your husband was breaking the law? It just does not make too much sense that a person arranging to meet sex workers did not password protect the iPad or his e-mail account...
I'm pretty laid back about sex and generally optimistic about couples that really decide to work through an affair. But um, prostitutes? Nope. It's simply too deliberate and planned for me to be ok with it. It wasn't "this started when we both got tipsy and just snowballed into an affair" - it was "we scheduled a time and negotiated a price." That skeeves me out.
And then if you open up the can of worms regarding the background of the prostitutes in question, there may even be an argument that your husband shouldn't even be around your children. Between underage prostitutes and sex trafficking, prostitution can be a blanket term that refers to a wide spectrum of activities and situations, from women who are essentially independent contractors who entirely control their situation to women and girls who are unwilling participants in abusive situations.
There's no point in keeping your home intact. See a lawyer. Get to a therapist. Protect any assets you may be entited to. Protect your children.
First, about talking it over. Allow me a dramatic synopsis.
Did you do it..... No.
Did you do it.... No
Here's the proof.... It was an accident.
It meant nothing.
It will never happen again.
Translation on the last one..... You will never find my phone unlocked again.
Or..... I must remember to get a second phone first thing in the morning.
Now the second point......
Cut your losses.... Get out now.
The idea of a cheater will only act like a cancer on your mind.
Consider, where will your thoughts go when he says.... I have to work late tonight.
or, Friday, I'll be home late, we are taking "Jimmy" from the office out for his birthday.
It has been my experience.... These people do not change... They simply become more skilled at covering up their activities.
My suggestion is to get all your ducks in a row before doing anything. Do not confront him until you have all the facts.
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