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Are you just going to wait for her to bring it up again? Because she probably won't. Her words are meaningless as you know.
I have no idea..Why are her words meaningless? The first trip was never a sure thing she said it was 50/50 from the beginning that it would happen ..She couldn't go because of her daughter.
I don't know what shed gain making wanting to go away up
She didn't make it up per se. She threw it out into the conversation to make you happy, knowing it would send you into a pink cloud, sustained by her gift of hope, and you would never dare follow and burst the bubble.
That's what she does. That is her pattern. She is stringing you along. I don't know why she does it, but it was clear to us long ago that she is selfish and cruel.
You say you want to go ahead and get closure, so do it. Start planning a vacation for the two of you ALONE. Make sure she knows your intentions are romantic. Go as far as you can with the planning until she is forced to commit yes or no. Then you have your answer.
She didn't make it up per se. She threw it out into the conversation to make you happy, knowing it would send you into a pink cloud, sustained by her gift of hope, and you would never dare follow and burst the bubble.
That's what she does. That is her pattern. She is stringing you along. I don't know why she does it, but it was clear to us long ago that she is selfish and cruel.
You say you want to go ahead and get closure, so do it. Start planning a vacation for the two of you ALONE. Make sure she knows your intentions are romantic. Go as far as you can with the planning until she is forced to commit yes or no. Then you have your answer.
Do you have the balls to do this?
I will but I think you're being harsh on her..She's used the friend word many times with me so I dont think she's ever led me on verbally at least.. some physical gestures I guess you could say maybe..
Maybe she really wants to go away with me as a friend? Or more? Or maybe it was a comment between two friends drinking and buzzed that she didn't think through and forgot about already..I've done that..
But it's thinking the worst of her and painting her in a pretty bad light to say she's stringing me along..That would be extremely disheartening and is hard for me to believe
I've never invited her on a trip..She asked me if I wanted to go to Miami with her and her sister a few months ago if she went but she didn't end up going..
When we talked Friday she said we should go on a vacation together this summer..
So in other words...more reeling you in, without any actual follow-through.
She can "say" she wants to take you to a hundred different places. She can say she wants to shuttle to the moon with you. But nothing appears to actually be materializing.
However, she's aware (even if instinctively) that every time she throws out such an idea, you rush back.
Remember in Almost Famous? "Let's go to Morocco together..." That's fiction, though loosely autobiographical, but the idea isn't a new one. Make promises, the person who's gone on you will return all that adoration that makes you feel so good.
I know you think it doesn't show but if you're still obsessing over her holding your hand ONE time last summer then trust me. She knows. It shows. Clearly. You make her feel really wanted but if she wanted you too, she wouldn't be allowing you to hold her hand once every 9 months and telling you maybe you'll go on a trip, but it never happens. She'd have been way more clear about things by now.
But it's thinking the worst of her and painting her in a pretty bad light to say she's stringing me along..That would be extremely disheartening and is hard for me to believe
We know... And this is really the whole problem.
You're still seeing it in black-and-white and hyperbole...if she "just" wanted to use you, why would she X, Y and Z...as if the two choices are: either she's a crystal white angel of sweetness and 100% genuine, or she's a monster who uses men and throws them away.
It sounds way more likely she's in the middle - a very real, flawed person like anybody else, who feels really good when someone really wants her, but whose heart isn't into ever really giving back because she's not feeling it. But I don't think you want to believe that either.
I still want closure..and I still don't want to believe she's as bad or as calculating as you guys say.. I hope not at least..
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And this is really the whole problem.
