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So your friends have expressed concern about your drinking?
And do you feel the way your friend drinks to blackout drunk in full view of her teenage daughter is OK?
No I have one friend who went to AA and stopped drinking and he told people they tell you there if you have more then 2 drinks on any occasion you're an alcohloc which is crazy..
And no I don't think getting blackout drunk in view of her daughter is good but that's not my responsibility..
Self-knowledge and self-respect are the areas I would focus on if I were you.
I agree but I don't look at these past 7 months as some awful thing I went through..
Sure it didn't end the way I wanted it to but I got companionship and affection and I know you think differently but I do think I have a friend who really loves and cares about me and vice versa..it's just tough for me right now so fresh off rejection..the hurt of getting attatched and loving someone and it not being reciprocated hurts like hell I admit that..this part isn't fun at all and I'm still hurting..I'd like to know how to get over this part.
Hell at least I tried old and that was because of her..the rejection or fact I kinda knew she wasn't into me like that drove me to try to prove I'm not as unattractive as I may think or she does..
I'm gonna be as honest and self aware as possible about the situation and myself right now..
Of course there were a lot of signs she might not have been into me like pulling back and constantly referring to us as great friends but after being passive for years I figured I owed it myself to try after all these years of rarely asking women out..
Another reason I really wanted to try in this situation was I'm a person who takes time to warm up to people..I'm not overly friendly to people when I first meet them once I get to know them and feel comfortable around them I get a lot more warm and friendly ..
I'm the same way with women which is a death blow since men usually have to be the initiators..my friend was an in for me so to speak where I already felt comfortable around her.. she saw and knew my good sides which a lot of women don't get to see since I don't approach them..
I know I'm way too sensitive..I want to be liked too much..So when a person doesn't like me as a friend I look at it as a referendum of myself as a person..when a women doesn't like me I think it's a referendum on my attractiveness..
I think people who say you shouldn't care at all are sociopaths but I'm trying to balance still caring but not caring too the point it controls me..
Even though I've always been against therapy maybe I need it..i need to be able to believe in myself more and not take rejection so personally..
I'm gonna be as honest and self aware as possible about the situation and myself right now..
Of course there were a lot of signs she might not have been into me like pulling back and constantly referring to us as great friends but after being passive for years I figured I owed it myself to try after all these years of rarely asking women out..
Another reason I really wanted to try in this situation was I'm a person who takes time to warm up to people..I'm not overly friendly to people when I first meet them once I get to know them and feel comfortable around them I get a lot more warm and friendly ..
I'm the same way with women which is a death blow since men usually have to be the initiators..my friend was an in for me so to speak where I already felt comfortable around her.. she saw and knew my good sides which a lot of women don't get to see since I don't approach them..
I know I'm way too sensitive..I want to be liked too much..So when a person doesn't like me as a friend I look at it as a referendum of myself as a person..when a women doesn't like me I think it's a referendum on my attractiveness..
I think people who say you shouldn't care at all are sociopaths but I'm trying to balance still caring but not caring too the point it controls me..
Even though I've always been against therapy maybe I need it..i need to be able to believe in myself more and not take rejection so personally..
I think you did a good job with the honesty and self awareness. I really do. It's sad, but it's sad because it's real and honest and something I can relate to. I think it's something a lot of people can relate to.
I hope you talk to a therapist. I think you're ready to take a deeper look at how you see yourself and how you believe the world works. In my opinion, you see both as darker and harsher than they really are. A lot of people do. So much so that any decent therapist will have experience with the challenges you describe above, and should be able to help you if you let him or her.
I'm gonna be as honest and self aware as possible about the situation and myself right now..
Of course there were a lot of signs she might not have been into me like pulling back and constantly referring to us as great friends but after being passive for years I figured I owed it myself to try after all these years of rarely asking women out..
Another reason I really wanted to try in this situation was I'm a person who takes time to warm up to people..I'm not overly friendly to people when I first meet them once I get to know them and feel comfortable around them I get a lot more warm and friendly ..
I'm the same way with women which is a death blow since men usually have to be the initiators..my friend was an in for me so to speak where I already felt comfortable around her.. she saw and knew my good sides which a lot of women don't get to see since I don't approach them..
I know I'm way too sensitive..I want to be liked too much..So when a person doesn't like me as a friend I look at it as a referendum of myself as a person..when a women doesn't like me I think it's a referendum on my attractiveness..
I think people who say you shouldn't care at all are sociopaths but I'm trying to balance still caring but not caring too the point it controls me..
Even though I've always been against therapy maybe I need it..i need to be able to believe in myself more and not take rejection so personally..
Honestly man, I don't think this is why you're getting rejected and having trouble. It probably has to do with your looks and height.
The harsh truth is that nothing will help you with women if you don't meet a certain looks/height threshold. You could be the funniest, most positive guy on the planet and these things won't help.
For some reason, people don't want to be honest about this. I'm not sure why, but it's the truth. As men, it's important that we seek truth over a false feelings boost.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,957,550 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheDistinguishedGentleman
Honestly man, I don't think this is why you're getting rejected and having trouble. It probably has to do with your looks and height.
The harsh truth is that nothing will help you with women if you don't meet a certain looks/height threshold. You could be the funniest, most positive guy on the planet and these things won't help.
For some reason, people don't want to be honest about this. I'm not sure why, but it's the truth. As men, it's important that we seek truth over a false feelings boost.
I guess my problem with it is I know and see dudes who are like 5'6" and what I think is pretty homely looks with pretty cute women on a daily basis, so your narrative doesn't align at all with what I see in the world, in anyplace I've lived.
I guess my problem with it is I know and see dudes who are like 5'6" and what I think is pretty homely looks with pretty cute women on a daily basis, so your narrative doesn't align at all with what I see in the world, in anyplace I've lived.
I don't even notice how tall anyone is anymore, I'm currently with someone only about 2 inches taller than me. I just refuse to be honest about that stuff though, maybe I was only attracted to him for his tall texts..
Honestly man, I don't think this is why you're getting rejected and having trouble. It probably has to do with your looks and height.
The harsh truth is that nothing will help you with women if you don't meet a certain looks/height threshold. You could be the funniest, most positive guy on the planet and these things won't help.
For some reason, people don't want to be honest about this. I'm not sure why, but it's the truth. As men, it's important that we seek truth over a false feelings boost.
Does it make you feel better to discourage guys who want to change? You need to drag them down with you into your den of loserdom? Are you trying to populate a tribe of incels to keep you company? Sad.
I guess my problem with it is I know and see dudes who are like 5'6" and what I think is pretty homely looks with pretty cute women on a daily basis, so your narrative doesn't align at all with what I see in the world, in anyplace I've lived.
It's the one thing I've tried to beat in everyone's head here.
There's a lot of guys (short, ugly, fat) with women. Some of them are as unattractive as they are, but some of them are okay and some of them are even pretty good looking. By me they look like those Duck Dynasty guys. A lot of them wear NASCAR stuff or camo (not the kind of camo I wear) hunting jackets and stuff like that. A lot of them are husky looking dudes. Some have big smelly looking beards. Most of them look like they're well into their 30's, but they're probably mid to late 20's and even younger in a lot of cases.
I was the fat guy walking around with a really good looking (and thin) girl back when I was 20-25, and doing A LOT more than just walking around with her.
Then thin, better looking, 26-29 year old me couldn't even get a date.
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