Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I had a female colleague, in her 60s, tell me today that she is "too old for a relationship." She explained that she has no interest in dating or pursuing companionship of a physical nature, and that "its for younger people." I didn't argue with her as she is entitled to her own opinions, but I wonder how common this is. Is there a point at which many people get to where they lose interest in having a relationship? An age where they determine its just not worth the effort?
For the record, this woman is very busy professionally and seems to have an interesting life full of travel, activities and family (she has a grown daughter and grandkids from an earlier marriage.) I didn't feel like this comment was made in some self-pitying way or that she wanted me to reassure her that she was not "too old."
Well, I've actually heard of this a good few times, from women way more so than men.
For some (definitely not all) women, they just don't want to be bothered by being tied down after a certain point. This may be especially true of a previously married woman who raised kids and spent her life doing things for others, and perhaps was workng outside the home as well (as in this example), and now it's time for her to just be herself. Not worrying about holding her tummy in on a date, flirting just the right way, constantly having to ask after an S.O. and check in and so on and so forth. Not being married or living together and having to pick up everyone's dirty socks all the time...etc.
I don't think it's universal or anything, though. If she's traveling and running all over the place what she's probably saying is that she wants to be independent and not have to think of someone else, not that everyone should feel that way after a certain age. She's trying to make it more of a general thing to defend herself since probably people are asking why she doesn't find a nice widower and so on.
I had a female colleague, in her 60s, tell me today that she is "too old for a relationship." She explained that she has no interest in dating or pursuing companionship of a physical nature, and that "its for younger people." I didn't argue with her as she is entitled to her own opinions, but I wonder how common this is. Is there a point at which many people get to where they lose interest in having a relationship? An age where they determine its just not worth the effort?
For the record, this woman is very busy professionally and seems to have an interesting life full of travel, activities and family (she has a grown daughter and grandkids from an earlier marriage.) I didn't feel like this comment was made in some self-pitying way or that she wanted me to reassure her that she was not "too old."
I think she just wanted to avoid getting into a lengthy explanation to you. No one even should make her have to say that and explain herself. She can do - or not do - whatever she wants.
People at all ages decide to stay single for a bunch of reasons. And that's ok.
I think she just wanted to avoid getting into a lengthy explanation to you. No one even should make her have to say that and explain herself. She can do - or not do - whatever she wants.
People at all ages decide to stay single for a bunch of reasons. And that's ok.
She said it unprompted. It was in the context of one of our clients saying something about dating-- this person (I am guessing) is around her age. I was not in any way pressuring her to talk about her personal life.
She said it unprompted. It was in the context of one of our clients saying something about dating-- this person (I am guessing) is around her age. I was not in any way pressuring her to talk about her personal life.
Then she was probably just making conversation. She was adding to the conversation that was already going on.
She said it unprompted. It was in the context of one of our clients saying something about dating-- this person (I am guessing) is around her age. I was not in any way pressuring her to talk about her personal life.
she probably wanted to nip it in the butt before this dating conversation goes any further.
Some of my post menopausal friends just have no sex drive so they're like, why bother.
I could see that. But I wonder if this is tied more to sex drive or just a feeling that this part of life is over? That its somehow not appropriate any more?
Dude, I'm 41 and that's pretty much how I feel. I have a FWB, and right now my biggest concern about that nonrelationship is that he might be wanting more than just sex. I finally have a happy and joyful life filled with loving friends, fun activities and professional success - I'm not going to take a chance on letting the wrong person into my life.
I could see that. But I wonder if this is tied more to sex drive or just a feeling that this part of life is over? That its somehow not appropriate any more?
I don't think so, since many older women are married (not divorced, not widowed) and she must know that.
I really think she is just saying SHE feels past all that, for her own reasons. She feels old to start over, maybe. She is taking time for herself. She is traveling, is apparently self-supporting and she's just concentrating on herself.
Realistically, too, and I hate to put it this way as we all get older, but in her age category, if she goes husband-hunting she may as easily be looking toward being a nurse as a lover. Maybe she's just not up for that. Again...she could "need" a nurse too at some point but she'll probably actually hire one...I think women are expected to be more nurturing and she may be very afraid of that. Winding up not with a husband but with someone to take care of, like she may have been taking care of all her life already (again, assuming she's had children). You never know.
And once again...she might feel differently if she were growing old WITH someone...if they were already married. I can't explain this but somehow it does feel different, at least to me. I'm married but I can see how a person might feel this way.
I don't know...there are so many possibilities. You could ask her.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
