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I personally don't think it's as the OP paints things either, but IMO, what's important is that he does...and he doesn't seem motivated to change that, because he just doesn't want to be married. In fact, it's just possible he's exaggerating these things in his own mind to justify his comparatively unorthodox choice (most people seem to believe most other people should get married).
If that's the case then why bother exaggerating things? Anyone has a right not to be married. I truly do feel some people just shouldn't attempt it, and I believe that choice is okay.
And, I married someone who isn't the sort of person who belittles or behaves hurtfully toward a partner. We are very close and value our roles as partners. We are a team and not adversaries. I don't find marriage hard; it makes my life easier having a committed partner where we are a united front.
It takes choosing well, but it also takes having learned good interpersonal and relationship skills, mostly via people who are modeling good relationships. Both my spouse and I had that.
It isn't a relationship that suits everyone, though. If it isn't for you, go with that.
Marriage isn't for some people. There's a bit of self sacrifice and compromising mentality that it takes to make it work. Single life was easy as hell in retrospect, but I wouldn't give it up.
My spouse and I both waited a fairly long time in life to marry. We both had relationships with people where marriage wasn't an end goal, we both had long stretches of single life. We married when we met the person who it made wonderful sense to marry. We knew what we were looking for, and we each knew it when we saw it, after mutually long periods of exploring what all was out there. There is value in learning what you DON'T want to help define what you do, and then proceeding accordingly.
In my forty one years on this Earth I have met three couples whose marital relationships I would consider healthy and positive, and none of those people are in my immediate family.
I don't envy them, because not for a single naked second can I imagine myself enjoying the life they've chosen, but I wish them well. Whatever they're doing seems to work for them.
l can well understand your thing , l was married to one of the easiest going best women you could hope for but even l wondered just how we are meant to stay married.
It's bloody hard being married.
You should be right these days though because there seems to be millions of women claiming they don't wanna get married either..
It'll become the next t big trend l'd say so there ya go , your laughin.
Of course they don't have commitment problems though, it's only guys that have that , right.
I don't feel I'm very good at being married, myself. My husband thinks I am, or he says he does, and I DO everything I'm supposed to do, but I don't think I really was cut out to be married. I wish I were better at it but I'm not. And I do balk like crazy at not having freedoms. Not everybody does, though. Many people absolutely love being married. Everyone is different.
That's interesting. I haven't found that marriage has taken any freedoms away from me. Now the kids on the other hand...
This is going to seem harsh...but you're kind of frustrating. I guess marriage DOES seem too hard for you. You've posted how you can't even make female friends. If you can't even handle that, then of course marriage seems too hard.
So what if he has no female friends? Female friends are overrated for a single male. The only possible thing he could get out of those interactions is a possible social circle introduction from the girlfriend or wife of one of his partnered off male friends. It's a benefit, but if he does enough cold approaching at bars, grocery stores, malls, etc., he wouldn't need social circle introductions anyway.
However, I wonder if he has the kind of personality to be a hardcore cold approacher. Relying on approaching alone is very psychologically taxing.
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I truly do feel some people just shouldn't attempt it, and I believe that choice is okay.
