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Okay, but ED being more prevalent in progressively older age groups is factual, and medical.
Your "rebuttal" is just anger.
I get that but OTOH who's it helping? Not telling you not to say it, BTW...but...come on. You can't "rebut" a fact just because the fact isn't fun. We've already covered plenty of ground that not all men over Age X get ED (and covered it...andcovereditandcovereditandcoveredit) right down to the "I can hammer nails with mine" ubiquitous helpful comments but...being pizzed because someone suggested something as a possible answer, because you don't like that answer, doesn't make a lot of sense.
I mean what if I were to post on some women's health board, "My period is irregular," and people asked whether I was over Age X and perhaps it was perimenopause, and I yelled that that couldn't be it because PLENTY of women my age aren't in peri, well...that would be...I don't know. Dumb? Right? And beyond that, how would that be helping me? Or anybody?
ETA: I just saw your edit. No, it is not a "gender sterotype" that medically, a certain amount of men are more likely to experience ED the older they get.
See, from my perspective, the fact that ED increases with age has been coveredandcoveredandcoveredandcovered also. And your efforts to quiet men's offerings that age isn't necessarily the broad brush determinant of sexual function in men is interesting. Remarkable even.
I agree that it's true that the best way for her to protect herself from this situation is to date younger and younger men, unless she dates healthy men at various ages who don't drink excessively, don't smoke, and don't use other substances. But is that a sustainable plan? Some of those men may calculate, correctly, that the best way for them to have a satisfying sex life is to choose younger women who don't take libido leeching drugs like anti-depressants, anti hypertensives, statins, old school antihistamines, decongestants, or any number of other meds that do no favors to women's desire for or comfort with, or ability to enjoy sex. Or post menopausal women who face a myriad of challenges that may decrease their desire, their comfort, their enjoyment of sex if they do desire it, their feelings about their aging bodies, and so on. I bring that up because your insistence on pointing out repeatedly that men of a certain age are going to have issues, and your disingenuous nods to the sensitive nature of this topic are getting old.
The point is that where age is concerned men and women lose interest and/or ability to have sex at similar rates. This thread started with the strong implication that a 39 year old man's ED has to do with his age, hence the solution of dating younger men. That may be true in his case, but if he's a healthy and med free 39 year old, its extremely unlikely. ED is not often a natural consequence of healthy aging until at least a few decades later. And your thread nesting investment in this discussion, down to your snarky comments about men who resent the implication that their birth certificate determines their sexual function, is really overwrought.
See, from my perspective, the fact that ED increases with age has been coveredandcoveredandcoveredandcovered also. And your efforts to quiet men's offerings that age isn't necessarily the broad brush determinant of sexual function in men is interesting. Remarkable even.
.
Given the fact that this particular man in this particular thread (the thread we're talking about, remember?) is very obviously experiencing an issue, no, it's not remarkable. What's remarkable is how people are perfectly willing to deny what could actually help this couple because it's a no-no to really address the situation, as it may hurt feelings.
OTOH, it's not so remarkable...because that's what the OP's (probably by now ex-) boyfriend is indeed doing. Denying it. And yelling at the OP. (Better she hurts than he does, I guess? And better she hurts than they, together, work on the issue by facing it?)
Oh well. I'm sure they're broken up and he's doing whatever he's doing, possibly still denying there's an issue because that's just not a nice thing to say or to think about, and maybe he'll never be happy... (shrug) but at least he won't be offended.
I give up. Any guy who has this issue and wants to address it, will; any guy who doesn't want to address it, won't, and is probably best left for someone more in touch with himself because you can't force anyone to do anything, really.
Given the fact that this particular man in this particular thread (the thread we're talking about, remember?) is very obviously experiencing an issue, no, it's not remarkable. What's remarkable is how people are perfectly willing to deny what could actually help this couple because it's a no-no to really address the situation, as it may hurt feelings.
OTOH, it's not so remarkable...because that's what the OP's (probably by now ex-) boyfriend is indeed doing. Denying it. And yelling at the OP. (Better she hurts than he does, I guess? And better she hurts than they, together, work on the issue by facing it?)
Oh well. I'm sure they're broken up and he's doing whatever he's doing, possibly still denying there's an issue because that's just not a nice thing to say or to think about, and maybe he'll never be happy... (shrug) but at least he won't be offended.
I give up. Any guy who has this issue and wants to address it, will; any guy who doesn't want to address it, won't, and is probably best left for someone more in touch with himself because you can't force anyone to do anything, really.
It's been a while. I actually forgot about this thread.
Things ended with this man, NOT because of his erection problems, but because he was a total psycho. He ended up harassing me for weeks. But I don't hear from him anymore. I should have listened to my gut.
See, from my perspective, the fact that ED increases with age has been coveredandcoveredandcoveredandcovered also. And your efforts to quiet men's offerings that age isn't necessarily the broad brush determinant of sexual function in men is interesting. Remarkable even.
I agree that it's true that the best way for her to protect herself from this situation is to date younger and younger men, unless she dates healthy men at various ages who don't drink excessively, don't smoke, and don't use other substances. But is that a sustainable plan? Some of those men may calculate, correctly, that the best way for them to have a satisfying sex life is to choose younger women who don't take libido leeching drugs like anti-depressants, anti hypertensives, statins, old school antihistamines, decongestants, or any number of other meds that do no favors to women's desire for or comfort with, or ability to enjoy sex. Or post menopausal women who face a myriad of challenges that may decrease their desire, their comfort, their enjoyment of sex if they do desire it, their feelings about their aging bodies, and so on. I bring that up because your insistence on pointing out repeatedly that men of a certain age are going to have issues, and your disingenuous nods to the sensitive nature of this topic are getting old.
The point is that where age is concerned men and women lose interest and/or ability to have sex at similar rates. This thread started with the strong implication that a 39 year old man's ED has to do with his age, hence the solution of dating younger men. That may be true in his case, but if he's a healthy and med free 39 year old, its extremely unlikely. ED is not often a natural consequence of healthy aging until at least a few decades later. And your thread nesting investment in this discussion, down to your snarky comments about men who resent the implication that their birth certificate determines their sexual function, is really overwrought.
Yes, this. He was way too young for this to be an age problem. And back when we were talking TO the OP, rather than vaguely about her situation, I am pretty sure I mentioned that, and told her the whole "I should just date younger men" thing was foolish to say, when the guy was ONLY 39 YEARS OLD. That just ain't all that old.
Truly I think both of them had attitudes that rubbed me a little the wrong way. She was emotionally detached, and like "well if I'm not getting my bell rung, I'm outta here" and he was indulging in (if I recall) frequent pot and porn and maybe there were other meds involved, but then he tried to make it about her distracting him...with her orgasms?...whaaat? Nothing about these two made any sense. It sounded like nobody was happy.
I think we need to separate out if we are talking about OP situation...and if we are talking about ED in general. I think (as I've said before) that ED isn't the end of the world and mostly can be worked with and around, but a man is probably going to have an easier time with this if he has a loving and patient partner, and if he is kind to himself. If he's just trying to get some action with a hookup, and he's beating himself up over not being Mr. Johnny-on-the-Spot, he's just going to psyche himself out worse.
Things ended with this man, NOT because of his erection problems, but because he was a total psycho. He ended up harassing me for weeks. But I don't hear from him anymore. I should have listened to my gut.
Thanks for the update!
It sounded like the problems went WAY beyond his trousers...or rather, beyond what was NOT getting beyond his trousers...or something...whatever...lol...
Sorry he turned out to be so much trouble for ya though.
Yes, it shouldn't matter but It does matter to the OP as she specifically addressed it towards males whose "performance" is affected by age (which is the gender stereotype in question) or so has been implied by that specific statement. In providing a rebuttal I made the point that this statement can easily be inverted as well.
The passive aggressive BS and each sex taking pot shots at each is other, i.e., the tit for tat thing is what I was talking about.
Things ended with this man, NOT because of his erection problems, but because he was a total psycho. He ended up harassing me for weeks. But I don't hear from him anymore. I should have listened to my gut.
I'm glad you're out of that situation also. I've been irritated with this thread, but not with you. You can date who you want based on any criteria you set, obviously, but your comment about younger men, which looked like it was maybe half serious, was the catalyst that changed the course of this thread. It quit being about you or him a long time ago. In any case, good luck.
I'm glad you're out of that situation also. I've been irritated with this thread, but not with you. You can date who you want based on any criteria you set, obviously, but your comment about younger men, which looked like it was maybe half serious, was the catalyst that changed the course of this thread. It quit being about you or him a long time ago. In any case, good luck.
Thank you.
How's this for irony?
I am now dating a man 11 years my senior who has no erection problems. Ah, life.
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Any guy who has this issue and wants to address it, will; any guy who doesn't want to address it, won't, and is probably best left for someone more in touch with himself because you can't force anyone to do anything, really.
