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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
Some guys will "get better" with age as you say you have, sure. This guy doesn't seem to be in that category...already...and he's only 39.
Or, perhaps he has an easily correctible issue, and once corrected, no problems. We don't know. But I don't know too many women looking for younger dudes, if anything, the mid 40 yo something guys I know are mainly being targeted by mid 30s women, so apparently "performance" isn't a concern with most.
Or, perhaps he has an easily correctible issue, and once corrected, no problems. We don't know. But I don't know too many women looking for younger dudes, if anything, the mid 40 yo something guys I know are mainly being targeted by mid 30s women, so apparently "performance" isn't a concern with most.
No. For those women, it isn't.
For this woman, it is. But apparently only with this guy. She doesn't seem to be complaining about men in general and in fact seems to have had good sex in the past.
They're not a match. No matter how many 30something women "target" older men, THIS one doesn't want that. So...there you have it.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,951,955 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
They're not a match. No matter how many 30something women "target" older men, THIS one doesn't want that. So...there you have it.
They're not a match, but it doesn't have anything to do with his age. She wouldn't be happier with a 28yo with performance issues, or lack of skill, either.
They're not a match, but it doesn't have anything to do with his age. She wouldn't be happier with a 28yo with performance issues, or lack of skill, either.
How are you saying this when she's saying she HAS been happier with just that? (i.e. she "prefers" younger guys? I don't think she'd know that unless she'd been there.)
Why are you so worried about one random woman on the internet preferring younger guys? If you're a stud at 40 and younger women are targeting you what does it matter that just one woman wouldn't want someone in your age category? Isn't this up to her? And don't you already have plenty from what you say? No need to get this up in arms over a woman preferring a younger man. It does happen, you know.
And as for it not having anything to do with his age, we don't know that either. Who knows, maybe since she prefers younger men she automatically gave a somewhat "off" vibe. Right?
People like what they like. If she was trying with an age group she isn't naturally attracted to that could actually be part of the problem. The bottom line is, some things work for us. Other things don't.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,951,955 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
How are you saying this when she's saying she HAS been happier with just that? (i.e. she wants to go "back to" younger guys?)
So you think she would be happier with younger guys with performance issues? Ok, I don't believe that.
People have sex with individuals, not age groups, or cohorts. So what is average doesn't matter. It's no different than when we respond to people who ask about "what do most men/women want". It doesn't matter, because people aren't dating/sleeping with "most" people.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
Why are you so worried about one random woman on the internet preferring younger guys? If you're a stud at 40 and younger women are targeting you what does it matter that just one woman wouldn't want someone in your age category? Isn't this up to her? And don't you already have plenty from what you say? No need to get this up in arms over a woman preferring a younger man. It does happen, you know.
She isn't preferring a younger man. She is preferring performance. Completely different things. I don't care about this person, from other things she has said she does not seem pleasant.
She isn't preferring a younger man. She is preferring performance. Completely different things. I don't care about this person, from other things she has said she does not seem pleasant.
She likes what she likes. She is getting more out of her relationships sexually with younger guys, for whatever reason. Maybe it's even just that she's more turned on that way, and is subconsciously communicating that (being turned on can be pretty hard to hide). Whatever it is, it worked for her...and this one didn't.
So him saying that every guy has to take care of his urges first thing in the morning or he gets "blue balls" is a load of nonsense. Frankly, I think he's got some rather wonky thoughts and attitudes towards sex. If I were in a casual sex relationship, I'd be demanding better than this. Like not even performance wise necessarily, but more adult and sensible approach to the whole concept.
Because he is only 39, I really don't think this is a physical issue or that Viagra is the right answer for him. I think it's psychological. And I think that for you to be patient enough to hold his hand while he works through it, and/or help him do so, is something one asks of a more committed partner, not a casual sex partner. That's just my opinion, maybe, but yeah... I don't think the two of you are well matched at all.
Now, if you prefer younger men, and you're after casual fun, there is no reason not to do that with younger men, given my experiences with OLD, your options should be plentiful. The guys in their 20's were the largest group that was pursuing me when I was on there. I like 'em older, though, and I've got to say I've had some excellent experiences with men in their mid 40's and older....so don't judge them or write them off necessarily, but by all means go after what you like and prefer.
I'd also hazard a guess since you mention he would like you to be his girlfriend, that it's all part of the package of him feeling pressured to perform. You're younger than him, he finds you desirable, and he'd love to keep you all to himself but he feels like he's got to impress you and compete well if he's going to prove that he's worthy of being your main squeeze (or one-and-only) so he probably feels like a lot is riding on him proving that this problem is somehow always situational and next time will be better. He's scared of letting you down. Like I can just see how there could be a lot of stuff going on there, that would make it understandable for him to be having difficulties. I'm trying to be compassionate to both sides.
If I were in your shoes, I'd stop seeing him, but personally, I'd come up with a reason that lets him down gently and doesn't make him feel inadequate. That's just me, though.
Well the last two times it happened he sort of blamed it on me. I said I was about to orgasm and then he said he lost his momentum because I said that. The other time he said it was because I told him I wanted him to orgasm and so he felt thrown off track. Essentially, he blamed it on me which is totally lame. I've noticed he likes to play the victim so I don't know if bringing up the issue will even get us anywhere.
When it happens he just masturbates until he can get it going again but that sort of kills the mood for me.
Ugh, this is why I prefer younger guys.
Free Porn Ruins Men
Is he possibly addicted to porn ? And he then blames you? Oh boy, I would consider breaking this situation off.
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But apparently only with this guy. She doesn't seem to be complaining about men in general and in fact seems to have had good sex in the past.
