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Essentially, he blamed it on me which is totally lame. I've noticed he likes to play the victim
You're wasting your time then.
I'm close to this dude's age and I can get it up without chemicals. I've failed in most aspects of life, but at least there are some things going for me.
Well the last two times it happened he sort of blamed it on me. I said I was about to orgasm and then he said he lost his momentum because I said that. The other time he said it was because I told him I wanted him to orgasm and so he felt thrown off track. Essentially, he blamed it on me which is totally lame. I've noticed he likes to play the victim so I don't know if bringing up the issue will even get us anywhere.
When it happens he just masturbates until he can get it going again but that sort of kills the mood for me.
Ugh, this is why I prefer younger guys.
The only thing I ever had a problem with in this realm was the cellphones. Mainly hers. It was required to be off, a rule we both made by mutual concensus. Me and the ex were together 16 years. We never had this dysfunction, we were very comfortable with one another in bed, we knew it was alright to take what we wanted from the occasion and we never left one another wanting. There were times we would simply take from one another too.
I think you're both dealing with a lack of familiarity/comfort in your relationship. You're just dating this "object", there's no depth or committment there. It's affecting you both.
Also, I'm not his gf. Although he wants me to be, he knows I'm not ready for any commitment and I just want to have fun right now. So yeah, bad sex is kind of a deal breaker.
OP, I'm not buying any of this. This dude is limp, but some how he is worthy of an internet thread. You care about him. If not, there would be another dude in his place and no thread online. If I'm correct then do what you can to help this man in a caring way. If I'm wrong (and you truly don't have any feelings towards him) send him on his way kindly.
WOW! Thanks for all the responses everyone. I truly appreciate it.
I forgot to mention that he also said it might have been because he pleasured himself that morning (he said that every man basically has to because they wake up with an erection and if they don't, they get "blue balls". And had he known he was going to see me later that day, he wouldn't have) This, I, find to be kind of a valid excuse but you can't use that line every time.
Also, I'm not his gf. Although he wants me to be, he knows I'm not ready for any commitment and I just want to have fun right now. So yeah, bad sex is kind of a deal breaker. I think I'll have a mature discussion with him about it. I don't know his history with this so I can't be too quick to make any assumptions. So sticking around for "love" is not an option. I know this is a sensitive issue. This is why when it happens I am neutral and I don't react, except for when he blamed me. I, like most others here, assumed that knowing your girl is about to orgasm would make a man even more erect! Thanks for the reassurance.
And I love the idea that I might just be too damn hot. HA!
How old are YOU?
I don't think you need to have a "mature discussion." Talking is not going to make this better. You two are just not a match, and I am betting that in his head he knows it.
By the way, masturbating earlier in the day really shouldn't have this effect.
I also wish people would stop defaulting to "your mouth and hands still work!" Yeah, sure, but that still doesn't address the core issue, which is intercourse, which IS different.
OP, just move on to someone else. It sounds like the pressure of being a sex machine is too much for him.
I'm dating a 39 year old man who keeps losing his erection during sex. I know this is a sensitive subject for men so I'm wondering if I should express my concern? How would I go about it? Can I just be straightforward and tell him to invest in some Viagra?
Sex is important to me, so if I'm not satisfied I don't see the point in continuing to see him. Has anyone else dealt with this?
Back to your subject, CT, get him some cialis pills. It's like 18 again.lol Works for me, late 40's.
Honestly, her posts about him don't make it sound like she cares enough about HIM to pursue a solution.
I don't think so either. She needs to move on. They're not a match.
This leaves him to find someone more to his liking too. I just can't see forcing this, neither one is happy. I think the OP just wanted reassurance that there isn't something inherently wrong with her, since he put the blame on her. We can't know that for sure but from what she says, no, his reaction wasn't typical just for someone saying she's climaxing. They're not well-suited, it seems pretty obvious, so both should move on.
And older men without them exist to. So, clearly the issue is performance issues, not age. If age was the entire issue, she would never have gotten with him.
.
Right.
I would think most people would simply have taken that comment to mean a young man would be less likely to have ED issues.
Gawd! Talk about drama! Making a mountain out of a molehill.
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They're not a match.
