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Frankly, she should have just given the guy a break. He did make an effort to talk to her. She should be feeling thankful and flattered and should consider actually going out with the guy.
Come on, man, is this for real? What if a woman you’re not interested in comes up and does the same thing to you. Do you want us to tell you that should have just given her a break, since she made the effort to talk to you? And that you should be feeling thankful and flattered?
On the second, the no date for 6 years is by people that don't want to date, not really, with OLD there is no excuse if you want to meet people.
I feel like most of the guys that haven’t had a date in years either just don’t ask many or any women out at all, or they’ve been rejected by a few and just give up. Or they expect women to come up and ask them out and when they don’t, they don’t put any effort out at all.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,737,988 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Runninglikethieves
Come on, man, is this for real? What if a woman you’re not interested in comes up and does the same thing to you. Do you want us to tell you that should have just given her a break, since she made the effort to talk to you? And that you should be feeling thankful and flattered?
I honestly think most of the women in this forum would say just that if the sexes were flipped in that situation.
I honestly think most of the women in this forum would say just that if the sexes were flipped in that situation.
And if we answer "no, of course no is owed that" then we're lying bc the women up in here think we're perfect and blah blah blah. There the whole debate has been taken care of now.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Runninglikethieves
I feel like most of the guys that haven’t had a date in years either just don’t ask many or any women out at all, or they’ve been rejected by a few and just give up. Or they expect women to come up and ask them out and when they don’t, they don’t put any effort out at all.
Well, quitters are quitters. I never had anyone say yes when I didn't ask. Or very rarely.
I honestly think most of the women in this forum would say just that if the sexes were flipped in that situation.
Uh, hell no.
We ALREADY didn't say this when the sexes were flipped in an example on this thread.
And you can guarantee (and read down for yourself) that pretty much all of the "he asked for my number but never texted..." threads will be "he is not into you, don't push, leave him alone." And in those cases it wasn't even the guy never having indicated interest at all (as with the OP). The woman is told he just isn't into her. Code for: do not push, you have no right to this person.
We also routinely say if you are NOT attracted DO NOT try to "make" yourself be.
.........The men with no game are really not that more dangerous or creepy though.. in fact many of them might make great partners ..............
Men without game might very well make great partners. And guess what? Many of those nice guys without game really are in relationships with women who appreciate them.
The problem is that many of the men who present themselves as creepy and dangerous really are dangerous. If men with no game act just the same as men who are creepy and dangerous, they really shouldn't be surprised if they get rejected. No sane woman will give a dangerous guy three dates to check and see if he is really dangerous or just socially clueless.
Men without game might very well make great partners. And guess what? Many of those nice guys without game really are in relationships with women who appreciate them.
The problem is that many of the men who present themselves as creepy and dangerous really are dangerous. If men with no game act just the same as men who are creepy and dangerous, they really shouldn't be surprised if they get rejected. No sane woman will give a dangerous guy three dates to check and see if he is really dangerous or just socially clueless.
^ THIS. And not even game per se, but just very very very basic socially appropriate behavior. You don't have to have game or be The Love Coach to know that intrusively demanding a person's attention repeatedly despite her clearly telling you she is too busy to talk, and recommending marriage to someone you JUST met are off-putting.
If you really are a nice and non harmful person, learn the most basic social cues or else risk all women not being willing to take the risk that maybe you really are dangerous. For heaven's sake, my autistic son knows no means no and leaning up into people makes them uncomfortable. DO NOT blame women for not knowing that you (the general you), a stranger, are just awkward (to an extreme...not just shy and a little nervous, those are normal) and not potentially dangerous. You are *a stranger*. How the hell would she know? By taking a chance and not winding up in the back of your van and then everybody laughs about it later, oh ha ha honey, remember when I thought you might be a rapist, a drunk or a serial killer? Just no. Sorry.
Come on, man, is this for real? What if a woman you’re not interested in comes up and does the same thing to you. Do you want us to tell you that should have just given her a break, since she made the effort to talk to you? And that you should be feeling thankful and flattered?
Or a bigger guy for the matter.
That said, no guy is entitled to anyone's appreciation. Neither is a woman for the matter. And I hate this crap about "Oh you should be flattered that someone did this to you?"
Tell me. (Not You Runninglikethieves but the person you're responding to) Would it be flattering if some random guy came up to you and not leave you alone even though you have made it clear that you a) Don't want to be bothered? or b) Have a major concern that you are trying to take care of, or some combination of both?
Would it be so flattering if this person ignored the signs or even your direct words to him of not wanting to be bothered (You tell him in no uncertain terms that you don't want to be bothered)? OR how about this? Would it be so flattering if he not only disrespected your boundaries that you clearly laid out with direct words, but started crossing other boundaries (putting hands on you, forcing yourself on you)?
Tell me this? Is it flattering to be seen as anything other than a human? To be seen as a sex toy, or some item to be snatched up and locked away as someone else's possession to be used and abused at this person's will?
I tell you, all these people that say "Oh you should be flattered someone is doing all of this to you". I wish I can somehow get into my stalkers' heads and have them chase after you. Because obviously that is what you want.
Err, actually, no, women going AGAINST that Spidey sense is often how they wind up up in abusive relationships.
And what is this about "geeky" guys? If anything, "geeky" guys seem generally harmless. If women are afraid of you (the general you) it isn't because you seem geeky. It's because you seem scary.
...maybe
Sometimes, hindsight is 20/20. I consider myself someone who has "spidey sense" and I have been wrong before, and I've often look back and try to pinpoint if I have felt anything "off" when the truth is, maybe I didn't. I personally like to think that I can spot-em from a mile off, but...
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Sorry.
