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Why? Finding someone is compatible with for a LTR (if they are seeking that) is extremely difficult. And that's only half the battle, actually, much less than half. I've met two women I would have been delighted to marry, that's pretty good in my book. Neither wanted to marry me, that isn't something I can control.
I, personally, question people who go from couple to couple much much more critically. They seem not to have standards, or they seem to hook onto whatever is best or good enough and available.
How I feel about someone as a person can vary widely from how I view them as a lover.
The concisdersrion towards them are not equal.
If someone shows a storied history of having difficultly in the realm of love it naturally raises qesutions of why that may be.
I really don’t care how someone chooses to date people, it’s not about the process. In regards to that, I view either extreme of the methodology (conservative or liberal) equally as critical.
failure is failure regardless of the methodology taken to get to their.
A history of failure isn’t going to make anyone with feel comfortable.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
You ask people this question???
That is a question on OK Cupid. Have you seen the site? Members answer questions on it, often several hundred questions (or more) and these questions (not just sex, but dating, ethics, lifestyle, etc) are used in the matching algorithm. Both people need to answer the question to see the other's response.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rego00123
failure is failure regardless of the methodology taken to get to their.
A history of failure isn’t going to make anyone with feel comfortable.
I agree, but failure isn't having a relationship not last, a failure (to me) is staying in an unhealthy relationship, or staying or starting a relationship for unhealthy reasons. There are 20 years marriages that are failures, and 3 month relationships that are wonderful successes if they were healthy, positive, and resulted in quality connections (and hopefully a friendship).
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
What a strange thing to say. Do guys really think like that?
There are some weird dudes out there. A lady friend of mine ran into a guy that wouldn't kiss her after she went down on him! She dumped his behind fast, of course. I had never heard of such a thing. How insulting!
So once your relationship starts to get more serious you think your lover is just going to stop having relations with those other people? Just like that?
If you start relations dishonestly it pretty much stays that way.
Nothing started dishonestly with me. I was open about continuing to date other people. However, for me, dating isn't screwing. I was honest even when I ran across men who said they only date one woman at a time... and one or two were fine with continuing to see me for a few more dates, because I wasn't sleeping with anyone, nor did I intend to immediately.
I don't have sex until I feel like there is clearly potential for the long term. Once I see clear potential for the long term, I stop seeing whoever else I might have been seeing, and focus on the one man. The last time that happened, I parted friends with the one who didn't "win".
But I'm not going to judge what works for other people, as long as they are honest and don't have hypocritical double standards.
That is a question on OK Cupid. Have you seen the site? Members answer questions on it, often several hundred questions (or more) and these questions (not just sex, but dating, ethics, lifestyle, etc) are used in the matching algorithm.
I agree, but failure isn't having a relationship not last, a failure (to me) is staying in an unhealthy relationship, or staying or starting a relationship for unhealthy reasons. There are 20 years marriages that are failures, and 3 month relationships that are wonderful successes if they were healthy, positive, and resulted in quality connections (and hopefully a friendship).
I understand that.
But this really just boils down to semantics.
Some people focus on the purpose as much as they do the feelings. This doesn’t always work out in the long term because we as a people change with the influences we surround ourselves with
A long term marriage goes to **** in all the same way as a non committal relationship does.
The only difference is the circumstances surrounding them.
It would bug me because if I'm dating someone it means I already like them. A date is something more significant than just getting to know someone to me. I don't look at hanging out with someone/getting to know them as a date, we're just hanging out.
It'd be more of compatibility issue than anything.
I don't know how long DNA hangs around. What if she had been with the other guy the night before?
I'm talking about extracting said DNA. Have you found men to be Ok with the idea?
The other way round, a guy only needs to have a shower and all traces are gone.
You would really need to ask yourself why you would be dating a woman who would not only be sleeping with multiple guys, but also having unprotected sex with multiple guys. If that’s the kind of woman that you’re attracted to then you can’t really put all the blame on her.
You would really need to ask yourself why you would be dating a woman who would not only be sleeping with multiple guys, but also having unprotected sex with multiple guys. If that’s the kind of woman that you’re attracted to then you can’t really put all the blame on her.
You are quite right. But how often have women here stated that they date multiple guys? How is it any different?
We have no way of knowing whether or not a woman is sleeping with any of those guys or whether they use condoms.
You are quite right. But how often have women here stated that they date multiple guys? How is it any different?
We have no way of knowing whether or not a woman is sleeping with any of those guys or whether they use condoms.
So if finding leftover DNA from another guy is really a big concern, it would be wise not to start having sex with these women right away until after you get to know them and have a talk with them about whether they’re having unprotected sex with other people. But if you’re the type of guy who wants to “hit it” as soon as possible then don’t act all disgusted by the idea that some other guy might’ve been there the night before.
So if finding leftover DNA from another guy is really a big concern, it would be wise not to start having sex with these women right away until after you get to know them and have a talk with them about whether they’re having unprotected sex with other people. But if you’re the type of guy who wants to “hit it” as soon as possible then don’t act all disgusted by the idea that some other guy might’ve been there the night before.
You know, it is an interesting point that it seems like the same guys who say that women should put out ASAP or else it's a waste of their time also expect her pants to be hermetically sealed until he, specifically, comes along.
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