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How many men I date at a time depends on who comes onto my radar at the moment, and how long the relationship takes with each to develop. Depending on things like individual schedules, travel, work, etc. some time can pass between seeing someone, which means I might have time to date more than one man at a time. Usually two men - assuming they make it past the first date - is enough for me to balance.
But here's the thing. Sex is part of evaluating whether someone is compatible with me, and since I also love it I'm not going to wait probably more than 4-5 dates to have it. And yet, there's no way I'm going to be "exclusive" with someone after just five dates. So I may be dating and having sex with more than one man at a time. So what? This is what condoms are for. Obviously I'm not going to continue dating more than one man indefinitely, but it can take a while - and many experiences -
before two people decide that they want to be "a couple."
FWIW, most men on the dating apps seem to swipe right on every woman now, which has basically killed the apps. They thought they'd play the odds, but in doing so they've undermined the whole premise and have driven the women away. I used to message some of my matches on the apps first, but now I don't bother because I know a bunch of the matches aren't real matches. And as for what they write in their profiles (if they write anything at all): half of them say they don't want anything serious, just casual friends or playmates. So...men are doing the exact thing you're criticizing women for.
That’s my take on it. Most people would eventually pick one person and couple.
Swipe right behavior existed before the internet. There have always been plenty of men who will hit on anything that moves.
Lol. Hold the phone. Women are starting to act like guys do when dating?
You do understand the words ironic and double standard right.
Just because you wouldn’t do x doesn’t mean someone else won’t. I personally wouldn’t care if she was dating other guys as long as it was out in the open to start with. Because I would probably be dating other people myself. If we got serious I would expect to be monogamous. Ultimately not all women are dating multiple guys. Just find one who isn’t dating a bunch of dudes.
Most people (regardless of sex) want to date multiple people to find one that’s best for them. Nothing wrong with that.
There will always be double, or different, standards for men and women because men and women are different. What those standards actually are may change with the times but those standards will never be the same, even if we are all pressured in to pretending they are.
It certainly happens and it's okay to the extent that no one is under the impression that there is exclusivity.
Actually, some guys (given past posts on here) are much more ticked off by a woman sleeping with one guy and NOT sleeping with others, namely them! You know, if you're gonna sleep with one, sleep with all for the good of equality.
Ick. If she's going to sleep with one but not the others, the others should bow out of the situation, not try to be eskimo brothers.
My mom wasn't very pretty but she always told me the girls might go out with one guy one week, another guy the next week...and that they didn't take it all as seriously...people just naturally coupled up and obviously not every date was a hot date, they were just all learning how to interact and what they wanted and so on.
This is just what I was told...I was constantly asking her for dating advice as a teen (she and my sister).
This is a healthy way to approach it and if we did more of this today there would probably be less of those socially awkward guys who don't even know how to interact with a woman.
With the advent of popular dating sites/apps like Tinder, women dating 3 guys at once is the norm. Maybe I'm a prude but I have a problem with this. Guys are rendered disposable. I've heard conversations where women talk about quickly swiping left and how dating sites/apps are pointless to them. I think dating sites/apps are just a tool for women to catch a big fish. If you aren't a big fish you are tossed back into the water. Thus, the modern dating scene is largely diluted.
I've never dated 3 women at once so I wouldn't be interested in a woman doing so. I think it could be a challenge nowadays to still find young wholesome women.
First of all, let's take gender out of this. You could just as easily say, "men dating 3 women at once." It sounds like one of those wacky 60s caper movies, you know the kind where Frank Sinatra or Dean Martin played the boozy womanizer who eventually got tamed by the girl next door. The reality of it is a lot different, what with the creepy PUA culture. So I would offer that far more guys are doing it than women, and for different reasons.
Second, define dating. Is it just the getting-to-know-you stage of drinks, dinner, and a movie? Or is it relentless bed-hopping?
Third, what are your motivations on this? Is it up to you to judge the dating lives of others? Or have you just struck out to someone playing the field?
Here's the thing. I always dated one woman at a time. First, I didn't have the time. Second, I didn't have the mental energy. If I liked a girl enough to take her out, I did. And if the chemistry wasn't right, one of us moved on. I was also secure enough that if a woman had a date with someone else, I didn't freak out about it. When I first started dating my wife, she actually had a couple of dates between our first and our third. But, ultimately, I was the guy who won her heart.
How many men I date at a time depends on who comes onto my radar at the moment, and how long the relationship takes with each to develop. Depending on things like individual schedules, travel, work, etc. some time can pass between seeing someone, which means I might have time to date more than one man at a time. Usually two men - assuming they make it past the first date - is enough for me to balance.
But here's the thing. Sex is part of evaluating whether someone is compatible with me, and since I also love it I'm not going to wait probably more than 4-5 dates to have it. And yet, there's no way I'm going to be "exclusive" with someone after just five dates. So I may be dating and having sex with more than one man at a time. So what? This is what condoms are for. Obviously I'm not going to continue dating more than one man indefinitely, but it can take a while - and many experiences -
before two people decide that they want to be "a couple."
FWIW, most men on the dating apps seem to swipe right on every woman now, which has basically killed the apps. They thought they'd play the odds, but in doing so they've undermined the whole premise and have driven the women away. I used to message some of my matches on the apps first, but now I don't bother because I know a bunch of the matches aren't real matches. And as for what they write in their profiles (if they write anything at all): half of them say they don't want anything serious, just casual friends or playmates. So...men are doing the exact thing you're criticizing women for.
Isnt a couple of times usually enough to tell whether the person is good for you sexually or not?
And again, personally, I would not want to have concurrent sexual relations with multiple people. I am more selective than that. If I felt like someone is not compatible I would end that and move on looking at someone else.
I believe it is a personality thing. With all due respect, you dont sound like someone who would eventually settle down. Sounds like you will always be on the lookout for something better even if you already had a good thing going.
Isnt a couple of times usually enough to tell whether the person is good for you sexually or not?
And again, personally, I would not want to have concurrent sexual relations with multiple people. I am more selective than that. If I felt like someone is not compatible I would end that and move on looking at someone else.
I believe it is a personality thing. With all due respect, you dont sound like someone who would eventually settle down. Sounds like you will always be on the lookout for something better even if you already had a good thing going.
Sometimes not.
First off, dating is not the same thing as banging someone. Second, unless one is wholly superficial, it takes time to differentiate between someone you enjoy hanging out with and someone who is really a long-term romantic partner.
First off, dating is not the same thing as banging someone. Second, unless one is wholly superficial, it takes time to differentiate between someone you enjoy hanging out with and someone who is really a long-term romantic partner.
Well, from their post its clear they are talking about sex specifically, not just dating different people. If it is just seeing people then I could understand that.
Dating and talking are such open for interpretation words. Meeting at Starbucks and hanging with 3 different guys sure that’s fine. But if you’re gargling in his bathroom and in the morning and off to see the next guy after breakfast then sure that is a problem.
For me personally, I don't think it's anyone's business how many people I'd be dating at a time, and I wouldn't tell a guy who asked if I was dating others.
And I don't want to know if the guy is dating other women. IOW, If I'm on a date with YOU, YOU have my undivided attention on that date. I would expect the same thing from a guy. I don't want to hear some speech along the lines of "You should know, I'm dating multiple ladies. Winner takes all."
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