Quote:
Originally Posted by StarPaladin
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I wonder.
Reading the original article, I see a lot of that stuff in myself and in relationships I have been in. Early on, I have anxiousness, and I often attract anxiously attached partners, but further into a relationship, it's almost like the avoidance soothes the anxiety. I get like "what if I'm not good enough for him?" and it trips a reaction of "well, just don't care so much, and it won't matter." Then I get somewhat withdrawn.
No one can hurt you if you don't really care.
Probably has also to do with how superficial most of my friendships are. I'm really good at that initial connection. People meet me and they're excited to get to know me, I can accumulate quite a "fan club" in no time...but I feel like once I let people in more, spend more time with them, try to build a real friendship...I'm unlikable deeper down. Once I've told all my stories, I'm just boring. And friends always drift away eventually, so it's hard to get invested with people.
That of course also happens in my relationships, where I feel like I can't keep being exciting, so any partner will always wind up disappointed. It is really difficult to deal with the constant conflict of wanting to pull people closer, and push them away or run and hide. Like being an extrovert and an introvert--at the same time.
Maybe this has nothing to do with any of this stuff. I don't really know. I'm not a professional. *shrug*