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Location: Living near our Nation's Capitol since 2010
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Back when I was dating, I made it a point to make the first few dates for either coffee or lunch. I always tried to pay for my own..even if only coffee. Not only did I think it was unfair to make a man pay for an expensive meal, I also wanted an excuse to be able to make it a very short date if I didn't particularly feel the chemistry.
After a few dates, sometimes it would lead to a nice dinner out. I made it a habit to insist on paying for every other meal. In this day and age, it seems very unfair for the man to be expected to fund all the dates.
I highly recommend the lunch date or the coffee date before investing in expensive dinners.
He seems like a somewhat old school guy who felt obligated to pay. So I assumed he did and they expected him to he probably gave off the "I'm a gentleman" vibe or uses it as a way to differentiate himself in dating.
As for the one who talked about ordering expensive stuff. He decided that was a good time to end the date....so he left a tip (they hadn't ordered, only had waters) and went home.
So I was having a chat about online dating with someone. And it was really interesting. He said that he had been struggling, because apparently he is meeting a lot of those mythical "I say yes for free dinner" people.
He shared a story of an especially bad date where the woman yelled at him for opening the door and mumbled to herself that she was going to find the most expensive item on the menu.
I definitely knew some people who did try to get on the free dinner train when they were in their early 20s. They out grew it, and it was not super often either. Mostly it became too awkward to have all of those forced dinner convos - no dinner is worth a boring convo. Their time became more valuable.
I became very curious on how he got pegged as the free dinner guy. I don't care about "free dinner" enough to endure a crappy conversation. I'd rather meet first over drinks or coffee so you can cut things short if needed.
My only guess was that his job may have given the impression he was rolling in the dough.
It was an interesting convo to say the least.
I don't know if free dinner girls exist or not, but until I read this post I would've been certain that "angry because he opened the door for me" girls didn't exist.
I don't know if free dinner girls exist or not, but until I read this post I would've been certain that "angry because he opened the door for me" girls didn't exist.
I have definitely heard about this door opening thing before. From male friends too. It happens more often then you would think, but certainly not universal. Of course not all regions have a lot men who open doors either.
Did he tell her why? Or did he just get up and leave??
I can't imagine being infuriated with a date, literally telling him I was going to make him pay a lot of money (apparently for revenge?) but then wanting to eat right in front of the person, I guess....mockingly? Angrily? I can't help but feel there's more to this story. I can't really picture how it all went down. It seems odd...JMO.
Yeah...not to second-guess your friend too harshly, but how is he at reading sarcasm? His date's comment (and the trigger for the comment) almost sounds like the kind of thing someone might say as a joke.
Exactly, I mean what would have been wrong with saying "I'd love to continue this conversation...I was going to sit down in the cafeteria with my lunch today...care to share a table?"
I have definitely heard about this door opening thing before. From male friends too. It happens more often then you would think, but certainly not universal. Of course not all regions have a lot men who open doors either.
I never heard about this before. If I was a man and get punished for trying to be a gentleman, I would then let the door fall into her face and leave ... without her. If she is so independent and strong, she can walk home.
He seems like a somewhat old school guy who felt obligated to pay. So I assumed he did and they expected him to he probably gave off the "I'm a gentleman" vibe or uses it as a way to differentiate himself in dating.
As for the one who talked about ordering expensive stuff. He decided that was a good time to end the date....so he left a tip (they hadn't ordered, only had waters) and went home.
He should have ended the date right after her behavior.
Personally, I could never date for dinner, I'm not a tolerant person and it would be torture to sit and talk with someone I don't like.
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I offered to go dutch, sometimes paid for the full meal and other times had "gentlemen" insist on paying. These were mostly late 30s+. Considering I lived in the South during much of my dating adventures, it seemed common given the culture. Less so in Nor/So Cal. I had no problem eating expensive dinners alone, so sitting through a boring conversation with the sole purpose of getting a free basic meal was not on my radar. I heard stories, of course.
However, I do have a friend freely admit, publicly even, that she only dated much older (20+ years) men and expected them to pay for dinner, and much else. These men were also loaded. They were fully aware of what they were getting into. She's drop dead gorgeous and arm candy for these men. Mutual arrangement for all parties. Hey, as long as you're upfront so the other person can decide whether to stay or bounce.
I never asked the person - not wanted in my life very long - if many of those men were years older than her. I would guess the affirmative.
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