Not finding her Attractive due to her Hair loss (boyfriend, sugar coating, marriages)
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oh please move on dude , your not bonded to her forever because you took her vcard , you happen to like a full set of hair no big deal ! Thats cool just make sure your next girl has what you need and be happy , no need to fele guilt its not like you cheated or something , your mature enough to even realize you may need to move on, good luck
Nowadays, people are no longer responsible for their action. If this happen back in the old day, regardless if you love the person or not, you have to be with the person and take care of the person for the rest of your life.
I know most of you would disagree with me, but I think OP should take the responsibility and take good care of her. It doesn't matter whether you love her or not, and whatever excuse you might have, is morally wrong that you took her virginity and leave her with the lame excuse saying how important her hair is to you. Even if you get in a relationship with someone else with a lot of hair on the head, once she gets old enough, the hair will start losing as well. What you going to do then? Find yourself another woman with full of hair?
I wish you the best in life. I hope you contribute more to the solution instead of causing more problem for the remaining of your life.
If this had been a relationship of just a few months or both parties understood it to be casual, this would be no big deal, but the fact is that this was a serious relationship of three years' standing. Now,, YES, I do agree that the woman deserves better than the OP and that these people are young, but I hope that the OP grows up quite a bit before he talks to anyone else about marriage. If not, what would happen if he marries and has one or more kids, and then his wife develops cancer and needs treatment resulting in hair loss and much worse? Will he just leave her or stop "loving" her because of that? I put 'loving' in quotes because I think if a person truly loves someone, then looks shouldn't be the biggest part of that "love".
And, of course, that doesn't mean that the first attraction should be ENTIRELY cerebral and/or based on personality, but after three years of being in any kind of loving relationship, looks shouldn't enter into the equation unless the other person turns into a total slob, which I think would probably indicate a serious problem with either the person or the relationship or both.
In this case, my sympathy goes entirely to the woman who is losing her hair -- and not just because of the hair loss!
Last edited by katharsis; 03-22-2018 at 07:30 AM..
It's noble to stay with that person but I think he'd be doing her a disservice if he stayed with her. When someone isn't into it anymore, it shows. That can be more heartbreaking than breaking up with her. Not only that, he'd be taking up a spot for someone who truly deserves to be there.
Idk just how I see it. Being noble in this case can cause more harm than good.
It doesn't matter whether you love her or not, and whatever excuse you might have, is morally wrong that you took her virginity and leave her with the lame excuse saying how important her hair is to you.
It's morally wrong to leave because he happened to be the first person she had sex with, but it's not morally wrong to stay "whether he loves her or not"??? I don't understand that rationale.
They already had sex before being married, so the morality clause isn't the most applicable here.
If he's ready to bail over this, he's not emotionally mature enough to bond with her for life, and guilt and shame are terrible foundations for a lifelong relationship.
It's morally wrong to leave because he happened to be the first person she had sex with, but it's not morally wrong to stay "whether he loves her or not"??? I don't understand that rationale.
They already had sex before being married, so the morality clause isn't the most applicable here.
If he's ready to bail over this, he's not emotionally mature enough to bond with her for life, and guilt and shame are terrible foundations for a lifelong relationship.
I'm not going to say it's morally wrong either way...but it IS pathetic and I feel mostly bad for her to be tossed aside over what is likely even a temporary condition.
But if it reveals how shallow the OP's supposed "love" is then it's all for the better. If this hadn't happened he would only leave her at some later point when it is even more devastating for her and they might even have kids. So better sooner than later - too bad it didn't happen after only a month of dating rather than three years!
Yes, I do think this fellow needs to move on; make the break-up clean, polite, and sharp. End it. Do it soon - it will give you both time to heal and move on with your lives. But I do agree with oh-eve, the poster above, that it would be kind to not mention her hair loss as the reason for the break-up.
Either the chemistry, companionship, and commitment is there; or it isn't.
My hope is that he ends it, she finds a cure, and he sees her a few months down the road and realizes what a shallow idiot he is. And she moves on and finds someone who isn't flaky and superficial.
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