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If you are a conservative and your partner is a liberal, or vice versa, or similar...how did you handle and deal with the relationship? Is it always tense in the household?
If we were polar opposites, values-wise (which is likely to be the case if you are polar opposites, personal politics-wise, as values tend to inform politics), it would be very tense. But we also likely wouldn't be married (or even have dated very long) due to the discrepancies in what we value.
As it is, we are not in lockstep, but of compatible personal values, and this is reflected in our politics. One of is us slightly more centrist than the other, but we are on the same end of the overall continuum.
I knew a married couple both very high up in OPPOSING parties/politicians. They just never discussed policy and such at home.
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Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 14 days ago)
35,650 posts, read 18,006,664 times
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I really can't imagine being married to someone who was politically opposite of me. I have a huge variety of friends and acquaintances, a wide spectrum, but we don't talk politics with the ones I disagree with, and silently I'm thinking in my head, for an otherwise smart and engaging person, how can you be so stupid?
I knew a married couple both very high up in OPPOSING parties/politicians. They just never discussed policy and such at home.
I feel like it's highly unlikely that, if they have strong enough convictions to actually be politically active/employed/whatever "very high up" means, that this wouldn't bleed over into other areas of life and relationships.
But, hey, people can make anything work, if there is a will to do so. I personally would likely feel like I was trying to fit a square peg in a round hole, but not everyone feels the same, obviously.
But I really am skeptical that, if you have particularly strong convictions, it isn't really realistically possible to totally check them at the door.
I really can't imagine being married to someone who was politically opposite of me. I have a huge variety of friends and acquaintances, a wide spectrum, but we don't talk politics with the ones I disagree with, and silently I'm thinking in my head, for an otherwise smart and engaging person, how can you be so stupid?
Nope. Couldn't marry that.
Not to call you out, I swear, because for sure, you're not the only person who thinks like that, but I try REALLY REALLY hard to leave out words like 'stupid' and 'snow flake' and all those other kinds of divisive words...because as strongly as I feel about my politics (right or wrong) I know the other person feels just as strongly, so I really try to understand why so and so feels and thinks like they do, without resorting to "Well...he's an idiot."
And really, these days, I just avoid political discussion. I used to be involved in a very politically oriented forum...and it devolved into name calling...and I just can't do it anymore.
I get that some couples do it, even famous ones (Arnie and Maria are of course the gold standard example of this) but I couldn't do it. I just couldn't.
There's just too much that is involved in a person feeling how s/he does on extremes of the political spectrum. These WOULD get in the way of our relationship, even if we never officially talked "politics" at all.
I have absolutely no problem with the fact that people make their own choices this way. None. I'm grateful to have choices and everyone else obviously deserves the same. But to live with a certain attitude or certain beliefs that drastically conflicts with mine would cause a problem.
I really can't imagine being married to someone who was politically opposite of me. I have a huge variety of friends and acquaintances, a wide spectrum, but we don't talk politics with the ones I disagree with, and silently I'm thinking in my head, for an otherwise smart and engaging person, how can you be so stupid?
Nope. Couldn't marry that.
This is the thing.
When I look at childhood friendships, formed long before we had political opinions and stances, and family, I recognize that our relationship in adulthood have suffered, I find them to have largely underinformed stances, and in some cases, completely uninformed stances (in those cases, their political views are influenced by cultural norms, and not actually keeping abreast of issues). That being the case, there has been a significant loss of respect that's occurred.
If it were my spouse for whom I had such a notable loss of respect, that really would be the death knell for a relationship as intimate as marriage. A mutually high level of respect is key. And I couldn't be married to somebody whose stances I respect as little as those of some personal acquaintances.
This is obviously not saying that "difference of opinion" = "I can no longer respect you." It matters very much what the specific opinion is, and what, if any, fallout there is from that opinion. Context is everything.
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"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 14 days ago)
35,650 posts, read 18,006,664 times
Reputation: 50689
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy
Not to call you out, I swear, because for sure, you're not the only person who thinks like that, but I try REALLY REALLY hard to leave out words like 'stupid' and 'snow flake' and all those other kinds of divisive words...because as strongly as I feel about my politics (right or wrong) I know the other person feels just as strongly, so I really try to understand why so and so feels and thinks like they do, without resorting to "Well...he's an idiot."
And really, these days, I just avoid political discussion. I used to be involved in a very politically oriented forum...and it devolved into name calling...and I just can't do it anymore.
The thing is, I didn't put in my post which side I'm on, and actually, I'm pretty centered. Lots of libertarian leanings. Most of my acquaintances have no idea what my political beliefs are, because I don't argue politics or namecall. I just think it in my head. And it's funny to me, how many of my friends will launch into a political rant having no idea what my beliefs are. Like, each side for some unknown reason thinks everyone they like believes like they do. If only they knew.
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