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Pretty much this. I can only speak for myself and my own experiences by you look at the loudest, most douchy, arrogant guy ever he'll always have women lined up for him. If you're confident and out-going that pretty much compensates for everything.
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I think this speaks loudly about the females in question. Probably Gold Diggers to some extent.
Neither the guy nor the women are likely to have happy and fulfilled lives...and that is what it is all about.
1. You have to start young - I met my wife when we were 16. She liked me and thought I was different and had some personality (fun).
2. You will get lucky - a woman who appreciated "silent but intelligent" or who may an introvert herself may recognize it in you and make it easy to start something - maybe a day biking or something.
3. If you are successful that's another story. Many women seem to flock to guys who have a few bucks (financially secure). Of course, you have to pick and choose the right one among that bunch.
4. Meetups - multiple people, maybe you will meet someone....
5. If you are an executive of sorts, programs like "it's only lunch" or whatever might work.
And, of course, most couples meet today on one of many internet sites. That way you can each know each other to some degree (writing/chatting) before meeting in person.
it gets exhausting and well you still need to be above average to get noticed...
I guess the more people you meet it increases your chances but i tried going various meetups results were so so only
I think this speaks loudly about the females in question. Probably Gold Diggers to some extent.
Neither the guy nor the women are likely to have happy and fulfilled lives...and that is what it is all about.
I think that's over-simplfying it. Many decent, objectively good women are like they though. They'll go on about how much they want a nice, respectful guy...yet they continually end up with the same kind. It's seems like women don't really want that until their in their 30s and they've given all the best years to the "cool" guys who screw them over.
it gets exhausting and well you still need to be above average to get noticed...
I guess the more people you meet it increases your chances but i tried going various meetups results were so so only
Meetups are outdated and unnecessary. Download a dating app, start swiping, and let technology match for you.
This notion that a person, in 2018, needs to go out on endless meetups at bars and clubs to hit on total strangers or go out to lunch with coworkers is archaic and inappropriate.
Quote:
Users are in control; they are provided with many options so there are enough matches that fit their particular type. Users can simply choose to not match the candidates that they know they are not interested in. Narrowing down options is easy. Once users think they are interested, they are able to chat and get to know the potential candidate. This type of communication saves the time, money, and risk users would not avoid if they were dating the traditional way. Online dating offers convenience; people want dating to work around their schedules. Online dating can also increase self-confidence; even if users get rejected, they know there are hundreds of other candidates that will want to match with them so they can simply move on to the next option. In fact, 60% of U.S. adults agree that online dating is a good way to meet people and 66% say they have gone on a real date with someone they met through an application.
As a former introvert, I say this with as much kindness as possible...
GET OVER YOURSELF
Yep. If you really want to make connections, you must overcome those issues holding you back. Start thinking about the people around you. Show an interest in them. Practice making conversation with strangers in the grocery store "Is that ______ good? I have thought about trying it." What ever, just practice in public with strangers. Do it to try and actually learn something or to show interest in them. The point is not to actually make a connection but to break you from your old habits. After awhile of doing this with strangers, it will be easier with those people you are actually interested in making a connection with.
This actually worked for me. I am happily married going on 23 years now. By practicing this I stopped thinking about my situation, worrying about whether or not I would be rejected or what to talk about or whatever and started thinking about those around me. So when I say "get over yourself" I really mean, stop making every encounter about your anxiety and make THIS encounter about the other person. Just start with one question.
EDIT: I forgot to mention the importance of making eye contact. Again, this is something you can practice while out running errands. Just look at the face of the people passing you. Some will ignore you, others may glance or look back. If you make eye contact, just smile back! Again, it is all about practice. Sometime just take a few hours of a weekend and go to the mall and walk around practicing, or just sitting around other people.
Now if you're ugly or fat or both, then you're at an EXTREME disadvantage.
Being shy and introverted is the equivalent of being both on the attraction scale for men.
The biggest thing for men as well, if you haven't got confidence or self esteem then you're pretty much screwed (certainly when combined with shyness/introversion). You have to develop it somehow.
The extroverted jerk type can be lacking confidence but still project it through front.
I would not agree. It's pretty evident these days that many of the A-Males are A-holes. At the same time, the quieter types (Bill Gates, Zuckerberg, etc.) are considered the better catches.
The world has changed. The Revenge of the Nerds.
Here is a list of some famous introverts...top dogs in just about everything. The Ape that has to beat his chest no longer gets the status in the tribe.
By becoming billionaires. They're hardly sex magnets otherwise.
That's the thing. You've got to compensate for it somehow by becoming rich or a very high achiever at something.
Introverts as an average are probably more intelligent and studious than an extrovert (by no means in all cases but as an average) but extroverts are better socially on average. Introversion itself is considered unattractive in society but if that introvert then becomes a billionaire he's attractive. It's the money rather than the person.
I assure you the nice guy, introvert will lose when it comes to attractive females. It is seen as a weakness and women aren't attracted to it.
They will go for the covert narcissist, and then will complain later of his behavior in social groups with her friends calling it 'abuse'. The reality is, she walked into it headlong. She also secretly loves the drama and playing the victim role all meanwhile acting with a moral supremacy as she attempts to 'fix' him.
It's exhaustive and lame, and I've seen it a number of times. Have to make sure these people can't get government funding for their mistakes / unexpected children.
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