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as you can see "internet strangers" like yourself can give me a better advice than my friends that say that it is my fault because i didnt behave more manly or "alpha" as they say and because of that alex has a much higher chance of being with her now
thats why i asked on this forum because you are more mature and you most likely have more experience
My point was, you need to cultivate a sense of self and a belief in your own perceptions and choices. Strangers are no substitute for good instincts.
The minute she refused to kiss you was the moment you should have seen her for what she was and stopped the charade. Because you did see it. You decided to overrideyour own instincts. Stop doing that.
You decided to override your own instincts. Stop doing that.
Yep, right about here, OP:
Quote:
Originally Posted by vasea1990
After she started ignoring his texts he started calling her and she rejected 2 of his calls 3rd time she went to talk to him in the bathroom . I felt kinda ****ty then and i was really tempted to leave but i stayed
She is probably playing that same game with Alex.
Not his girlfriend or sleeping with him but just sexually teasing the hell out of him like she did you.
i dunno about that , they are kinda close, i think that they sleep toghether but are not a couple yet
It doesn't matter.
The point is that you ignored your own instincts, when they could have spared you all this uncertainty. Stop ignoring your gut. That moment when you wanted to leave was the smart and sane part of you trying to make a good decision in the face of temptation LOL.
Stay away from flaky attention hoes, and don't concern yourself with what or who they do. It's as simple as that.
set up another time to hang out, and then don't ask about going under the panties. Work you magic.
You can thank me later.
Don't get emotionally invested. She sounds like a loon.
Wont be able to because she wont meet with me anymore not even as friends , and the reason why is because and these are her own words " things will most likely lead to sex "
She stops at texting and sending pictures nothing more
Gee, I can't imagine why her BF is a jealous guy. I'd place a decent size bet she is doing the same thing with Alex, that she is with you.
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Are you a kid, OP, like is this high school level stuff here? Or just barely out of high school? Sure sounds like it.
Cut it out with this alpha beta nonsense. Don't listen to that. Your mistake is that you failed to read her, and her behavior, and you let yourself feel things for someone who was not a great pick. She might be a better choice one day if she grows up, but right now, sex is a fun toy for her to play with, and she's playing. Doing whatever she can get away with, that is fun and feels good. You don't understand why she doesn't choose one man and be HIS girl? Because she doesn't have to. Maybe she's not ready to belong to one guy. Maybe she just wants to play right now. Seems she's got plenty of options, it's not surprising to me she wants to explore them.
Unfortunately, as is fairly common with young and immature people, she isn't being very honest with herself or other people about what she's doing. And she isn't grown up enough to make good life choices, obviously, since she continued to be involved with a boyfriend who was upsetting her with his jealousy. That's another signal right there...she just isn't ready to commit. Did you know that committing to belong to one person is not the ONLY possible way to have relationships and sex? If she were being honest, she'd recognize that she doesn't have to commit to anybody and she can play around until she figures life out without making promises (like, to a boyfriend) that she isn't ready to keep. Or she can do what she's doing, which means she'll probably just cheat and fool around behind the back of whatever boyfriend she has.
If you want a girlfriend, look for someone who is ready to be in a relationship, not a kid who just wants to play. While someone like her seems like lots of fun, and so it's easy to get into it and want more...you are barkin' up the wrong tree.
You need to work on understanding other people's motivations. What they're about. Not questioning why they do or don't do something based on YOUR worldview and expectations.
As for why you did not get the sex, since she's clearly playing around... Could be:
- She wants to play but feels guilty for cheating behavior, so she stops it just sort of some imaginary boundary between "this doesn't count" and "that is cheating" that exists in her mind.
- What you were doing physically, or some factor that she experienced during your cuddling/tickling/etc put her off. You shouldn't stress about this. What doesn't do it for one girl, will be just right for another. There is no one set of moves that appeals to all of us. (Has nothing to do with any alpha/beta BS)
- Perhaps you said something that made her think that, given the chance, you would be clingy, possessive, or jealous if she dated you. She has expressed she doesn't like the jealous and controlling stuff her former/current (?) bf has done. Maybe she hopes to find someone who will accept her desire to play around with whoever. Whether it's realistic or not that she'll find such a person, it probably isn't you.
But we don't know her, so all we can do is guess. Good luck with your journey.
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