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I'm an ugly piece of ****. It matters. You ugly. You get nothing. That's how it works.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Oh, and the point of the foot stories and all that was that we wandered a path when timberline was talking about how you can be with someone who is good looking and you get along great, but then there can be other incompatibilities. Sexual ones, specifically. Thereby invalidating in that way, the premise that as long as two people are hot for each other's appearances, the relationship will be a success.
Personally, that assertion sounds to me like a person talking who doesn't have a whole ton of relationship experience, and by that I mean, long relationships, good and bad ones, happy and miserable ones.
(Oh, and I like to share funny stories, because hey why not.)
And heck, if mutual good looks were all it takes for two people to be happy and devoted to one another, then these Hollywood hottie celebs would not be getting divorced left and right, which of course they do. And you'd never see unattractive people finding love, which they do. And no one would ever grow old together, since once the sagging and wrinkles started, both would go, "Like Oh My God, ewww" and run away. Which generally, people don't do. Even if you're pretty for a while, you likely won't stay that way forever. Thinking that relationships are really all about good looks seems really immature and naive to me.
But then I'm almost 40 myself, and I've turned down guys who really wanted to be with me, who were really "pretty." Sometimes it was easy to tell myself they were "too pretty" but in fact it was also other points of incompatibility. Like the poly bf with whom I had communication issues and such, or the gorgeous young man I keep running into randomly in various places, in a very "small world" fashion. I mean, I find him super hot, but initially he was simply too young for me. Then he was an intern at my work. Wow, small world. Then he was dating a friend of mine. Wow. Small world. Then I ran into him at the grocery store. "Hey, how are ya?" "Oh, ok. Still looking for a job. My band is playing at <bar> though, and that's fun."
At this point in my life, I'm building my 401K and getting my sons launched out of the nest and I would not dream of involving myself with a cute but jobless "in a band" kid like him. Our brief conversations over time and his dating profiles, got me to contact him a long while back because he's smart and interesting and funny. But our whole life stages are completely different. He would be a poor life choice of the highest order. So.
Physical attraction can, and for some people, does, follow getting along well and/or discovering a deep connection with someone. These ideas you believe are merely opinions, not facts that apply across the board to all of humanity, or to everyone in your country, or even--your neighborhood.
Quoted for truth. I was not really into my husband, physically, when we met. And even after we began seeing one another. He was healthy, tall, symmetrically featured, and had great teeth and eyes. But still not someone who turned me on. But we were so perfectly compatible in goals and ideals and had the best conversations. Similar senses of humor. Almost identical life goals.
I literally fell for him against my initial judgment. Attraction grew the more I got to know him and who he was. He became a sexually attractive option for me once the emotional and intellectual connection was established. If it hadn’t been for repeated social contact with him and striking up conversations as acquaintances over multiple months I’d have never looked twice at him.
And now, after so many years of marriage and life lived together, I can honestly say he is more handsome to me now than ever. It happens, and I’m not even sure it is all that rare.
Quoted for truth. I was not really into my husband, physically, when we met. And even after we began seeing one another. He was healthy, tall, symmetrically featured, and had great teeth and eyes. But still not someone who turned me on. But we were so perfectly compatible in goals and ideals and had the best conversations. Similar senses of humor. Almost identical life goals.
I literally fell for him against my initial judgment. Attraction grew the more I got to know him and who he was. He became a sexually attractive option for me once the emotional and intellectual connection was established. If it hadn’t been for repeated social contact with him and striking up conversations as acquaintances over multiple months I’d have never looked twice at him.
And now, after so many years of marriage and life lived together, I can honestly say he is more handsome to me now than ever. It happens, and I’m not even sure it is all that rare.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 9 days ago)
35,634 posts, read 17,975,706 times
Reputation: 50663
Lyle Lovett and Julia Roberts.
Need I say more.
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Please don't feel that way.
