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I can tell you as an average looking dude and who’s friends with a lot of average guys I’ve never been approached nor have they. I’ve only been successful when I’m aggressive I can’t afford to wait for a women to approach me.
You’re talking first glance approaches which are looks based I don’t buy that women approach average guys to see what he’s about.
When I’m hanging around a good looking guy average women approach him all the time while I’m invisible to them lol. At first glance they’re gonna approach and be attracted to the good looking guy just like any other women
Well, then, so what ARE you talking about? Like, a woman spots you from across a crowded room, she puts down her drink and slinks over, making eye contact the whole way, because she just can't resist? Based exclusively on your looks and swagger? Like in James Bond movies?
I'm talking about a "woman's" approach...which can be as small as just talking to feel you out. We take a lot of cues from the input we get in a conversation and will keep talking or not based on a lot of different things.
Yes, a good-looking guy will have girls fall all over him. So? The amazingly hot girls get the same. And? Each is a minority. The entire rest of the world, like probably 90% of it, doesn't have that experience. Male or female.
Guys need to quit thinking they're gonna get approached every day and that it means something if they are not. Only HOT WOMEN get approached by men - not even average women get approached by men. So why would an average guy think he'll get multiple women humping their leg?
When women DO approach guys 90% of the time either the guy can't figure it out or he rejects them out of hand because it wasn't THEIR idea first to approach that woman, so there must be no initial attraction on their side (they figure).
Well, then, so what ARE you talking about? Like, a woman spots you from across a crowded room, she puts down her drink and slinks over, making eye contact the whole way, because she just can't resist? Based exclusively on your looks and swagger? Like in James Bond movies?
I'm talking about a "woman's" approach...which can be as small as just talking to feel you out. We take a lot of cues from the input we get in a conversation and will keep talking or not based on a lot of different things.
Yes, a good-looking guy will have girls fall all over him. So? The amazingly hot girls get the same. And? Each is a minority. The entire rest of the world, like probably 90% of it, doesn't have that experience. Male or female.
You keep using hyperbole. I’m saying a random women at a bar or event or wherever never approached me and started a conversation.
I think all that's been proven here is that there is no ONE way to pinpoint what everyone wants. It's impossible to know. Studying "patterns" is not really reliable either. As there are too many variables as to WHY some people exhibits said patterns. People's tastes are different and people have their own reasons for behaving a certain way.
I see a bunch of talking and discussing but no one is really listening. Why? Because everyone has their own reality that they are living in.
I have a buddy who is married to a woman who is one of the dumbest human beings that I've ever met and also crazy. However, She's half his age and ridiculously attractive. She looks just like an early 20's prime Britney spears except with with a bigger butt.
He claims to not even really talk to her outside of basic communication. He also claims to love her too. I don't get it. I guess that's all some guy's need.
I would date an average looking girl with an ounce of intelligence before I would date a girl like my buddies wife. I have no doubt that marriage is going to fail. Judging by this girl's build, you can tell she's going to pack it on over the years. When she's no longer a trophy, her husband will have nothing but an overweight dumb chick in his life.
You keep using hyperbole. I’m saying a random women at a bar or event or wherever never approached me and started a conversation.
Here's the thing about that.
I've said to men before, "You are not bad looking, but you kind of blend in. You look basically normal, you aren't going to give anybody whiplash walking down the street."
A very average looking, average dressing, normal, blend in kind of guy...not rocking any room riveting charisma or shtick, is going to...blend in. As in, be...kind of invisible. So if you're in a venue like a bar, talking is usually limited because it's loud, so about all you have to impress women is looks, and if your looks are of the type that make you vanish into the crowd, then why WOULD women notice you?
Oh, and most people I know, don't initiate conversation without eye contact first. So if you're absorbed in your phone, or talking to your guy friends, or watching the game on the TV above the bar...if you're doing something to block eye contact from happening, women will be very much less likely to talk to you even if they want to.
None of this means "looks are everything! Women only like the hottest looking men!" what it means is that you might be using the wrong platform to sell the product that is you. I told one poster here, several times, his writing is...well it's amazing. If he got his writing in front of the eyes of women who enjoy a well turned phrase, he'd be getting all sorts of action. Such women exist. If he got a little newsletter out at cafes or something, that could be a step. He's not bad looking, but he's not a reclining Jeff Goldblum, either.
Online dating also gives options. You can get a photo that emphasizes your best angle and color and look, and then back it up with a well written profile, and get results. If verbal conversation is your strong area, then joining meetups or social communities where you can talk to people, would be the thing to do.
But if your attitude sucks...you might still get laid on good looks now and then, by finding superficial people in superficial markets (like bars) but your odds of having a successful relationship are still not good.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,951,955 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63
Guys need to quit thinking they're gonna get approached every day and that it means something if they are not. Only HOT WOMEN get approached by men - not even average women get approached by men. So why would an average guy think he'll get multiple women humping their leg?
When women DO approach guys 90% of the time either the guy can't figure it out or he rejects them out of hand because it wasn't THEIR idea first to approach that woman, so there must be no initial attraction on their side (they figure).
Not even close. I have female friends that are pretty average, some significantly overweight in addition, that really can't go to a bar/show/event without being hit on. Heck, they do it right in front of me and they have no idea what our relationship is. Plenty of women that are average or below hate going out to places alone because of their being hit on constantly, that part bugs me, that people can't go out and feel comfortable.
I don't care outside of that, it's just the way it is.
Not even close. I have female friends that are pretty average, some significantly overweight in addition, that really can't go to a bar/show/event without being hit on. Heck, they do it right in front of me and they have no idea what our relationship is. Plenty of women that are average or below hate going out to places alone because of their being hit on constantly, that part bugs me, that people can't go out and feel comfortable.
I don't care outside of that, it's just the way it is.
I need to learn from them .. I go to events and don’t get hit on ..
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