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If I’m understand correctly, his “traditional” model assumes that the woman would be the primary caregiver at home and the man would be the primary wager earner. While the latter allows for either spouse to be the wager earner or caregiver.
No, his "traditional" model doesn't assume that. Note that there are TWO options labeled "traditional"; one for the man being the breadwinner, and one for the woman having that role. And two labeled "complementarity".
Most of us likely don't live in jurisdictions that even have alimony.
This is the odd thing about the divorce and alimony rants on this forum. The ranters always assume that alimony is somehow a given, a built-in part of the system nation-wide. Those rants also seem to assume that the (ex-) wife will have a better lawyer than the divorcing husband. I think all of this indicates that most of the people generating the rants aren't posting from personal experience, but from material they've read online.
This is the odd thing about the divorce and alimony rants on this forum. The ranters always assume that alimony is somehow a given, a built-in part of the system nation-wide. Those rants also seem to assume that the (ex-) wife will have a better lawyer than the divorcing husband. I think all of this indicates that most of the people generating the rants aren't posting from personal experience, but from material they've read online.
Aside from my Mom (decades ago) , I know of no divorced couples where alimony is involved.
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The presence of children and the cost of full-time paid childcare can really be an extremely variable factor in this equation.
Nobody wants to work full-time solely to pay for childcare (or, more likely, work full-time to not quite break even on childcare). That's pointless, and essentially robbing Peter to pay Paul. "I have to work to pay for childcare, and I have to put my children in childcare so I can work."
Overall, I strongly feel that a stay at home parent should *ideally* have the training/degrees/experience/capability to gain worthwhile employment, should the need arise, but It's no secret that the cost of childcare, depending on one's situation, children's ages, geographic location, etc. can exceed what the parent who is the non-primary breadwinner can reasonably expect to earn. A parent who has been out of the workforce for a period of time performing childrearing duties can still find themselves at a hiring disadvantage due to resume gaps and changes in a particular industry and that sort of thing, but there will always be those who find it a worthwhile tradeoff to be there full-time, especially in early childhood.
For myself, I have used the time starting our family and parenting small children to complete a continued degree and prep for a complete career switch that will take place once they are school-aged. So I'm not "behind" in my field having taken 5-ish years off to start our family...I've actually used it to prep for a whole new career. I do agree that whatever your situation, you always need to make sure you're in a position where you are prepared to provide for yourself and your dependents, even if you are not actively seeking employment at a particular time.
Bear in mind that many SAH parents are not people who have never worked outside the home, an are not people who are permanently out of the workforce. For many, it is a limited-time situation, and they've held careers prior to having kids.
Another thing to point out is that many SAHPs are not fully out of the workforce. Many have part-time jobs or gigs. My sister did freelance work translating/interpreting. I had another friend who was a fitness instructor and know several other people who teach fitness classes. Many are active with volunteer work with their kids that can go on a resume. It’s not like SAHPs are sitting around eating bonbons all day not building actual skills. The likelihood of a modern parent getting alimony (which is very rare these days) is pretty minimal.
You know what they say OP, before asking a question know your audience first.
I know a single person who was awarded alimony (within the last 10 years) due to their particular circumstances. It was given under conditions that they would have to meet within a five year period with mandatory progression goals being met during that time period or the alimony became forfeit.
Alimony itself is rarely awarded today, in part to to reforms surrounding it and other specified legal awards and avenues becoming preferred by the courts.
It’s the exception to the rule today to be awarded a straight up spousal alimony
Last edited by rego00123; 05-28-2018 at 01:01 PM..
You know what they say OP, before asking a question know your audience first.
I know a single person who was awarded alimony (within the last 10 years) due to their particular circumstances. It was given under conditions that they would have to meet within a five year period with mandatory progression goals being met during that time period or the alimony became forfeit.
Alimony itself is rarely awarded today, in part to to reforms surrounding it and other specified legal awards and avenues becoming preferred by the courts.
It’s the exception to the rule today to be awarded a straight up spousal alimony
This is the only case I've ever known of alimony being awarded. I think it's the norm in Canada, or maybe it goes by province, but still, it seems to be a legal standard there.
Let me be clear I am not against alimony. I am in favor of people deciding what kind of marriage they want and the terms of the deal rather than the state working it out on their behalf. I think alimony can and should be there in particular cases.
Personally, I would prefer the traditional with me having primary yet still putting major effort with the kids while my wife does the opposite. I am a fair and reasonable person so I would work out with her what would be an amount that would make my wife feel comfortable. I am actually against women working out of fear of being left. That for me would signal that she doesn't have trust that our relationship will last or that she will be left in the dust.
I did this not to bash alimony, but to see if it affects women's thinking on their relationship preference. Often times people get political about the gender wage gap or MGTOW guys complain about alimony. But I think that a wage gap could arise out of an arrangement that both people feel is fair. I also think that men paying a reasonable alimony is totally fine if it makes sense in the relationship.
Once again I think its ridiculous to have a judge decide on my behalf when I and my to be known future spouse can make these decisions on our own. I don't see why that would even be contentious.
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