Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think you should break up now. Most men want to date for a few years before having kids and you would be wasting a few on him. You have a biological clean clock to consider
Just wanted to make sure that you understand that if your boyfriend gets a vasectomy then he's not going to be able to get you pregnant. Not now or in the future. That's why guys get vasectomies, so they can't get anyone pregnant anymore. He's not going to change his mind on having kids so that option, with him, is 100% off the table forever. Period. In reading your responses here, it doesn't seem like you've understood this fact.
How about having an expiration date for our relationship?
I know I break up with him in two years but not now.
Don’t do it. Break up now and look for a more compatible partner. One of my friends was in a similar boat. She kept extending the expiration and it turned into 8 years. She still is looking for the right person and feels like she wasted time.
If you've established a relationship with a local therapist, you should schedule an appointment to discuss these concerns.
You started this thread by saying that you didn't want kids either, then later clarified that you didn't want kids now. As soon as I read that, it all but confirmed for me that your words to him didn't fully align with your intentions. Your boyfriend too suspects that there's more to your intentions than what you're saying, so I think he keeps bringing it up until he gets an answer that rings true. He doesn't want the relationship to continue through the vasectomy, only to have you eventually fall to pieces as you admit that you wanted kids.
Just keep things the way they are, and enjoy what you have now. You are not prepared to have children, and I think you know that.
Continue your treatment and take care of yourself. Learn how to be the best partner you can be.
^^^^This. He doesn't want children and you aren't ready for them anyway. Things may or may not change in time but there's no way of knowing for sure now. Just enjoy each other for now and take good care of yourself. Even if you don't ever have children, you can always satisfy those maternal longings by babysitting for friends and neighbors. I would have suggested taking on a foster child or foreign exchange student but your bipolar condition might disqualify you. I'm sorry you have that condition but with proper care you can still have a wonderful life. Enjoy what you can have right now.
Being bipolar is affecting my decision.
I want to be a mom, but I am not sure I am going to be a good mom.
I am tired in the afternoon, sad, and most people are afraid of people with mental illness.
He is fine with that.
I am not sure if I will be lucky to find someone to have kids with this condition.
I just found out that I have bipolar a year ago and my medication worked in February.
The point is I will not find that guy to have kids for at least another two years.
Maybe, I changed my mind about having kids. My boyfriend mom has bipolar and my boyfriend has been traumatized in childhood.
I had a bipolar dad and my childhood was hell.
The only reason I want kids is I love to be a mom but I am not sure when I am prepared to do it.
I even don't have family in this country, if I have kids I am completely alone in raising them.
My mom can't be here to help me. What is my mood changes, what will happen to the kid?
Is having a kid more important than having a healthy life?
it is very selfish to be mentally ill and wanting children. You only want children so you are not alone. But since bipolar runs in your family AND your bfs, chances are high your children will have it. You are barely able to take care of yourself, please do not put a helpless baby in such an environment.
Be happy with your bf, enjoy what you have with him. It is tough to be mentally ill and date - he accepts you the way you are, why not leave it at that?
Not everyone who can have children should have some. Leave the childbearing to mentally healthy people who can offer the child a stable environment and future. Your posting history shows you are all over the place, you shouldn't even think of adding children to the mix. Find some friends, hobbies, ...
I think I made the decision to postpone thinking about kids for a couple of years and stay with my current boyfriend.
I am not sure I am ready to be a mo.
Until I can get my citizenship, a stable job can bring my mother here to the USA to help me, I am not ready to bring someone to this world.
I think I should be fine with my boyfriend get a vasectomy.
I love him and he makes me feel loved, and I am not sure a kid can give me that, or another guy.
He smart, funny, is fine with me being from another country, he loves me. Thatis enough.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
